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Wednesday, November 5, 2014

What I've Learned; or Bartender? Another One for My Friend Here.

“I feel like I’m having a hard day.”

“You feel like you’re having a hard day? Or you are having a hard day?”

“I are having a hard day.”

“Well just how hard a day has it been? I mean, has there been math involved? Has the word “platypus” entered into it at all?”

T, the man who tired of lawn work and took up cooking, the man who lost his pants to a raiding pair of socks in Florida, the man who delights in messing with my head, is on the phone trying to determine why I feel my day is hard.

To his credit, he has kept his comments out of the gutter.

“I don’t know. The weather, maybe. The lack of sun. The skyways – did you know they’re full of people walking slowly, four abreast? That they’re full of people in sweatshirts with tiny sleigh bells sewn onto them?”

“I’ve heard,” he says.

“Full of ‘em.”

“So you say,” he says.

There was a woman on the bus at the end of the day yesterday with three children in tow.  I watched the kids change seats every three minutes, sing “The Wheels On the Bus” five times and generally cause the other bus riders to turn their iPods up and pretend to be elsewhere.

The woman was not happy about it, but did nothing; and thus ensured that others felt her unhappiness.

There are so many reasons for feeling a bit down in November, aren’t there? A big clump of holidays coming, the seasonal be-nuding of the trees, the knowledge that the temperature, while steadily dropping, is no where near where it will eventually find itself, fifty or sixty degrees from now.

Figure in a non-moving deadline and the sinking suspicion that one hasn’t done enough and you’ve got all the makings of a need for a session in front of a bowl of uncooked brownie batter.

Or the need for a good shaking.

And so I did what any right-thinking human being does at this time of year. I went to a Cuban restaurant and ordered something I could take only a rudimentary stab at pronouncing and then bent my face over it, breathing deeply, eyes closed.

The catamaran left the dock, majestically perched atop the water and heading south.  I didn't look back.  

It serves no one, the overwhelmed feeling this time of year brings. But you know who does serve? Bars and restaurants. The smaller, the better. Look at the art work. Get the special. Consider the dessert. Consider it twice if you must.

Tip heavily if warranted.

And that, my friends, is what I learned yesterday.

Go forth and spread the word.


Delores said...

Heck...I do that all year round.

joeh said...

I never thought about it before, but you are right, nothing good ever comes from a conversation with the word platypus in it.

Daisy said...

November is a very good month to have dessert. :)

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
HAH! ...and there I was yesterday doing much the same whilst cooking palak paneer and saffron rice... Catamarans not involved. Just a dugout canoe... sigh... Lucky we got good image-brains eh? YAM xx

Jono said...

Between the anti-depressant, beer, dessert, spicy food, and down and out blues, I think I better just hibernate.

Catalyst/Taylor said...

You've got it. That's why I left The Northland. By the way, there's something in your hair.

jenny_o said...

Sounds like good advice. Personally I do not like November. No offense, November. Is it wrong to skip the main course and just get two desserts? You did say to consider it twice.

bill lisleman said...

Not being a great Santa, I also approach the "big clump of holidays" with a bit of dread.

Hey I thought you might enjoy a post I read on "She Who Seeks" about cats and bars.

Gigi said...

What is it about November that makes us all insane? I'm thinking Mexican food and a margarita is called for.

Linda O'Connell said...

November is synonymous with carbs, that's all there is to it. December isn't any better.

Geo. said...

It makes me feel better to remember November is at least better than August. Doesn't always work but worth a try.

Chicken said...


Leenie B said...

I had a Cuban Sandwich when I was in Florida. I've never had anything like it, ever. How do they make that kind of bread???? Our poor town has been commandeered by franchises. Nothing real. Nothing that you can't find ANYWHERE else. (sigh) Still I can dream. (the tropical breeze moves through the coconut palms and whispers across my youthful tanned skin)

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Thanks for another post that made me laugh

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

Oh I am feeling it too, Pearl. The weight of the world. So. Heavy.

Pat Tillett said...

I'm right there. Now, I know we don't have "real" weather, or the changing of seasons here, but 85 degrees on 6th of November is a bit extreme. Lot's of beer is need. Just as long as it is ice cold...

Diane Tolley said...

Yeah. Finances pretty much suggest that I stick with the brownie batter solution. Mmmm.