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Sunday, February 21, 2010

What? What Is It?! What Do You See?!!

Like my friend Steve, who punishes any distinguishable misconduct on my part by popping in “Apocalypse Now” and sitting on me until I concede whatever point it is he’s making, T has also taken it upon himself to inflict small tortures.

His latest foray into poking me with an imaginary stick?

He stares at the top of my head. He does it just to freak me out, and it works every time.

I look over at him, and his eyes have landed somewhere just right of the part in my hair.

“What are you –“ and I’ll reach up, pat the top of my head. I have thick, coarse hair; and it’s not unusual for me to find things in it: bugs, leaf bits, that sort of thing.

What? No, actually I’m not kidding. If I had a dollar for every time someone said, “Hold on a minute” and then proceeded to pull something out of my hair, I’d be able to afford that collection of cool hats to keep stuff out of my hair.

It took me a while to catch on to T’s game.

“What? What are you doing?” And I’ll put my hands on my head, feel around for gophers or rubber bands or something.

Nothing.

“Why do you do that? Why do you stare at the top of my head?”

T laughs at me. “Because it completes distracts you; and it’s funny to watch you become unhinged, you who are normally so fully hinged.”

It’s true. I am normally fully hinged.

And yet I fall for it every time. Whether it is in a bar full of people or a party at a friend’s house? No matter. I look over, he’s staring at a point somewhere on the top of my head, I reach up, frowning slightly, to feel around for what he is looking at…

And he laughs and winks at me.

Dammit.

He got me again.

26 comments:

savannah said...

friends1 ya gotta love, sugar! they keep ours lives so interesting! xoxox

shadesogrey said...

Here's an idea...keep something small in your pocket, the next time he's staring at you reach up there with the item hidden in your hand, dig around in your hair and pretend to pull it out. Then look at him, say thank you and walk away.

Zaedah said...

Though sympathetic to the torture this fellow is inflicting, I simply must (with many apologies to the future target) try this. I have several victims in mind, but shall give credit to the originator.

Wonder if governments can be overthrown by such methods?

The mad woman behind the blog said...

The hubs likes to see what color panties I'm wearing which usually means him untucking the blouse I just spent ten minutes smoothing into my skirt. Not as smooth as T's stare at the head trick but equally as annoying.
Was this TMI?

CatLadyLarew said...

I like shadesogrey's idea. Then again, I'm the one who could actually have things hanging off of me and people would be pointing and staring and I'd still be oblivious!

Warty Mammal said...

Gah. At some point, one's hands might start emulating Dr. Strangelove's and start trying to choke him.

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

Yeah, I truly feel your pain! My husband knows how to push all of my buttons, and I fall for that kind of stuff EVERYTIME!!

Jayne Martin said...

Go out and buy a skull cap and then one day have it on and just freak him out...

The Retired One said...

You could always start staring at his pant's zipper....oh, wait...never mind. He might LIKE that!

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

I totally love shadesogrey's idea about having a little something on hand....

I have an award for you over at my place; just my way of saying thanks for the daily amusement!

Lynn said...

I just love to pop by and see what you are up to! I am never disappointed!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Yeh, staring at someone's crotch will encourage them to 'stuff'. If they wrap that stuffing in tin foil and you have them go through a metal detector - much humor ensues. You could always cut your magnificent mane into some young page girl cut. What...not cute?

Lo said...

wunnerful, wunnerful........I knew if I came to visit you would brighten my day. Your skill and wit amaze me. By the way.....doesn't everyone have twigs and bits of the garden in their hair?

Secretia said...

I think you love the attention, who wouldn't!

Secretia

Madame DeFarge said...

I hate the way they do that. My husband kisses the top of my head like it's cute. It just emphasises that I'm not exactly tall.

Marla said...

Pearl, Boys only pick on girls they like.

Kevin Musgrove said...

It would be really neat if you *could* appear to pull out a load of silk handkerchiefs, or even flags of all nations.

Fragrant Liar said...

Good to have friends who feel that comfortable in your presence. Next time, put something in there that will really freak him out. :)

darsden said...

that is hilarious!

ICKY said...

LOL !!

You are so easy !!

Not The Rockefellers said...

Put a hinge up there..that'd be funny!

Jeanne said...

I'm with the others. You need to come up with something really freaky to get even.

Kavi said...

Poking with an imaginary stick ! Well, that seems like an overdose of Facebook and Farmville !

:)

Flea said...

I like this T person. T is real, right?

Pearl said...

I love the idea of being able to pull the flags of all nations out of the top of my head. :-) The hinge might be a thought as well...

I do admit to liking the attention. :-)

T is real, yes; and I've written about him a number of times (see "My Weird Friends" somewhere over there on the right-hand side.)

ladyfi said...

With friends like that... you gotta love your enemies! ;-)