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Saturday, August 8, 2009

T Is Neglecting His Lawn

T, the man who brought us the next stage in spatially adjustable lawn-hydration devices and harshly worded indictments against the common squirrel has fallen off the green lawn wagon.

That’s right. The man who hand-eradicated every – every! – bit of crabgrass in his backyard and successfully replaced it with lush turf has found a new obsession.

T has discovered his kitchen, and woe to the woman who hopes to some day be unmarred by the seams in her jeans if she shows up when he’s cooking.

“Hey, did you know that you can make pancakes from scratch?”

“What?” I said.

“You don’t have to use a box,” he said. “They have recipes for it!”

“You don’t say,” I said. “Next there will be recipes for soup.”

“Don’t be a smartie. You want some pancakes?”

Pancakes? It’s 8:30 at night!

T’s pancakes, by the way, come with a caramel sauce he “just whipped up” and sliced bananas.

“Oooh, you know what would be good with this? You want some ice cream on the top?”

“Huh?” I said, mopping up the sauce with a fluffy morsel of pancake. “Oh, no, no, no. Leave a girl with a little dignity.”

Last week, T went to a Tastefully Simple home party. Please picture this, a man in cargo shorts, a t-shirt that reads “In Case of Zombies, Remember to Sever The Heads” and combat boots. He has a number of colorful tattoos on his limbs and a shaved head.

T was the only man in a living room full of women, all dipping various home-made breads into little plates of flavored olive oil.

He spent $70.

So far, T’s kitchen notebook holds recipes for pancakes, caramel sauce, mango salsa, a number of grease spots/stains, and various ideas regarding the frying of chickens.

His lawn no longer gets his attention the way it did, but his new hobby is delicious.

29 comments:

ICKY said...

You didnt even mention the fun and excitment of the flambay....flambaux...flambeu.....er...the fire-y part !
Pancakes with carmalized bananas !
I just don't not understand why I'm still single.

Fragrant Liar said...

Yum! I love a man who can cook!

@eloh said...

Pearl, you better take up yard work so the yummy doesn't collect up on your waistline.

And while you are watering the lawn...hand me that fork, I'm pullin' up a chair.

powdergirl said...

I love his T-shirt. Is it a bit too small for him?

I don't eat pancakes, but my son has been making them from scratch for years, please do not tell him about the caramel syrup, he is a messy little kitchen rat.

Barbara Blundell said...

If your neighbour wants to progress with his batter mix I've a good recipe for "Toad in the Hole "

Emerson Marks said...

We only tend to eat pancakes on pancake day in England, but I'm fully aware that they're quite a delicacy in the states.

Douglas said...

You're making me hungry!

ICKY said...

Its a very simple recipe actually....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VBQiXJBUjw

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Oh, man, I'd have to get him a new habit mighty quick before I gained 50 pounds!
Those pancakes sound delicious!

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Girl.

Take advantage of it!!

Beth said...

Yum! This is one of the reasons I married my husband. He cooks!

Joanie M said...

Someone ought to marry that man!

darsden said...

Oh I want some of those pancakes. I had the 4 year old and we made purple and pink pancakes :-)

June Saville said...

A weighty problem Pearl!
June in Oz

Vic said...

When are we invited over for dinner? I love breakfast for dinner, so I could conceivably come now, even before T learns more recipes exist out in the world. :)

I have Thursday open...

david mcmahon said...

Okay, just quietly - I make pancakes from scratch and my kids reckon they're better than anything that comes in a packet!

The Jules said...

Women really do seem to like chaps who can cook, don't they?

I totally can do toast. You heat up those squares of raw toast until they're not quite burnt and then BLAM!

Toast.

Any ladies wanna love me?

Passion said...

I'm not sure if this post is a complaint or a brag...I'm going with 'brag', as well you might...thats a good bit of training, how'd you do it?

introspection said...

That is a yummy (oops,lovely!) post.
I love pancakes whichever way. From the scratch would be just amazing. And all men who cook are the best.
Congrats for making it to POTD as a contender.
Cheers!

Moannie said...

I'm drooling. A man with tattoos who can cook. JP can make a fantastic tomato sauce and that's it, the sum total of his culinary skills.

Well deserved POTD.

'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why! said...

Tell T to see me about the frying of chicken. We do it right in 'Bama!
Must try the caramel/bananas on pancakes!

JamaGenie said...

I came over from David's authorblog. Now I know why he picked this for POTD! A man with tattoos who *likes* to cook is definitely a keeper. You can always gravel the yard. ;D

Cheffie-Mom said...

I came over from David's authorblog. Congrats on the Post of the Day Award! Sounds like you've got a keeper!

gaelikaa said...

Well, you can't have everything, can you?

Brian Miller said...

lol. my boys would eat pancakes and chicken fingers for every meal if they could. at least you get the fruits of his labor...congrats on the pOTD mention!

Rudee said...

Sounds delicious. Anything with homemade caramel sauce sounds wonderful.

Congrats on you POTD mention.

TechnoBabe said...

Good for T and you benefit from his new hobby. Ask him what he puts in his mango salsa and post it for me, huh.

Elizabeth Bradley said...

Lucky you!

Kathleen said...

Oh, my gosh . . . I can so picture the Tastefully Simple gathering. That is HILARIOUS! My Mr. B, muscle-bound former wrestler, would totally enjoy such an event.

Oh, and he's planning to get a tattoo himself -- a kokopelli on his ankle.

Congrats on POTD! Well deserved!