Russell Brand steps
out of the fog, carrying a tuna-fish sandwich.
He winks, takes a big bite and says, ‘Ba doo boom boom boom boom boom…’
Startled, I awaken.
I check the clock.
11:28.
It’s become clear to me that the musical cats in
the attic are no respecter of time.
Squeak Toy, the all-cat band out of Northeast Minneapolis, having lured me, with gin and lime slices, into renting it to them with promises of cash and
coat-tail fame, is practicing.
I can hear them up there:
Liza Bean Bitey, of the Minneapolis Biteys, on violin; Stumpy “Lucky”
Strikes on drums; Ignatz D. Katz on upright bass; and a large, long-haired cat
on piano introduced to me only as “Hairball”.
I sit up, put my glasses on, reach for my cell phone.
“It’s very late,” I write.
The ping informing
me of a return text is surprisingly quick.
“no one uses punctuation anymore pearl”.
Impertinent kitty.
“No one spells out “punctuation” in a text. Shut it down for the night!”
Ping!
“pearl! dear old old pearl. its not even midnight”
Desperately clinging to the last vestiges of sleep, I
sigh and give it one more shot. “Liza,
what do we do on Saturday mornings?”
Ping!
“u wouldnt”
“I would, and I shall.”
Saturday mornings: where the amber-colored light of the
weekend lays on the hardwood floors and the half-and-half is poured into
garage-sale china saucers. Liza Bean
Bitey loves that little spot of cream, licks it carefully from her whiskers and
staggers, dairy-saturated, into the living room, where she settles down onto a
spot of sun-warmed floor and closes her eyes, smiling and Buddha-like.
There is the sound of raucous laughter from the attic,
and shortly after that, the sound of padded feet on stairs.
I fall back asleep, where Russell hands me half a
sandwich.
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30 comments:
Never stifle art for a half of a sandwich Pearl...or sleep for that matter. Work places are for sleep music makes the world go round.
Russell Brand?
Oh, puh-leeeeeze!
Why can't you admit that you have dreams about me?
Regards to the 'band'! I love a good catawaul!
Is Squeak Toy the band that recorded Catnip Fever?
Stop encouraging her Shelly!
It's good to have a backup plan to call on at times of sleep deprivation. If kitty wants her dairy she has to play the game.
Cats wiLL be cats.
My dog is being fussy this morning about his food. I s'ppose that is better than being fuzzy. My ears hurts.
What was Russell wearing?
Felines can be so inconsiderate. That's why I have dogs...
I can almost hear the band playing! Pearl is never so sleepy that she fails to observe and note for future telling of the tale.
Reminded me, this winter, son visits, sleeps on other side of curtain in RV, pinging of texts on his phone well past 11:28 p.m. *grrr*
The walking man, whilst I would normally agree with you, my grasp on sleep is such a weak and ephemeral thing that when it’s interrupted I could weep with loss!
Sym, I thought we had agreed to keep our relationship secret. Now you’ve ruined it. Ruined it!!
Shelly, one in the same! (They’ll be playing up at The Nip and The Saucer this weekend, if you’re free…)
Sym, :-)
Delores, this is what I’m saying. Everyone plays the game – but it’s not always the same game…
Esb, a dog fussy about food? You’re putting me on, right? :-)
Nessa, ahhh. Those leather pants. You know the ones. *sigh* I know he’s a rake, but I love him.
Bodacious Boomer, I’ve never had a dog, but if I did, I suspect it would steal my car. :-)
vanilla, that made me laugh. And the band? You do actually want to hear them playing, but you'll want to keep your hand on your wallet: they tend to attract a potentially unsavory element...
Russel Brand IS dreamy.
You've got her number alrighty.
BTW I've given up on the Russell creature and feel free to tell him.
I say the combination of Russell Brand and a tuna fish sandwich is just the beginning of a horror-filled nightmare. You should have thanked Squeak Toy for the rescue and stayed up to jam with them.
You let Russell Brand in your dream and A cat named "Hairball" in your house??
You are making some poor choices young Lady.
Watch your step in the morning.
Mandy, isn't he? Clever, good-looking and disreputable. Just how I like 'em. :-)
Pat, I shall. I know he'll be hurt -- he says nothing but good things about you.
Leenie, :-) That's not a bad idea.
Simply, you know, I hadn't looked at it like that. :-)
My dog -- the naked pup with a toothy grin-- sometimes disrupts my sleep by barking an alarm over rustling leaves or imagined trespassers. That barking pierces right through my ear plugs. It's no fun to have your sleep disturbed. But if I had any kind of dream with Russell Brand, I would be too freaked out to get back to bed.
Craver, I love that pup! Not for waking you up, of course, but because she has such a grin. As for Russell Brand, he's mine. Hands off. :-)
So they are a little older and wiser, and maybe you did get it in writing. Or else Liza loves half and half more than music.
Joanne, I really do have to post the lease. Those cats know how to negotiate...
Leverage: you haz it :)
Love it.
jenny_o, funny girl!!
Now where is Molly G during all this? Or is she the vocalist? (with a lisp?)
Eva, Dolly is curled up and dreaming of legless mice. :-)
After reading these comments I did have to Wikipedia Russell Brand. Never 'eard uv 'im. Who knew?
(See, there's an admission: vanilla doesn't know everything.)
Life with Liza Bean as a roomy is so complicated. Roommates on the whole are a pain-in-the-neck in my book. Someone has to move on. I mean really: tunafish sandwiches in bed at midnight?????
Rosemary
Kitty bribes (or the threat of a lack of bribes) will cure nearly every cat of their misbehaving ways...
...at least for a few minutes.
BTW: Think you could hook me up with a signed band photo of Squeak Toy? I dug their last remix of "I Don't Want Nuthin' (Except For What You Got)", and am looking forward to the next full length album.
Russel Brand in a dream, not bad at all. If he gets really annoying, you can always wake up.
Half and half - too weak for the only dairy loving cat here. And the other one refuses dairy in any form.
Russell Brand would be a great opening act for the band. Make the crowd laugh before Liza blows their minds.
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