I've been included in a Minnesota anthology "Under Purple Skies", now available on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

You’re Not Throwing That Away, Are You?

When things get tough, as the saying goes, the tough get going.

Wages remain the same and prices go up. What we need here is a way of making what we have last longer. With that thought in mind, let’s think outside of the box, shift the paradigm, move our cheese and engage in a host of other skull-numbing clichés and see if we can't cut back on our waste.

This is just off the top of my head, of course, but:

• Washing clothes is over-rated and a silly use of water. Eat naked to avoid spilling, thus prolonging the socially acceptable length of time you can wear the same pair of pants. If you can keep yourself from staining your clothes but have problems with perspiration, rub yourself with those free perfume samples and see if anyone notices. Set a goal for yourself re: clothes washing and then see if you can beat that goal. Perhaps a friendly competition amongst your friends!

• Consider using the things you normally throw away.
- The water you use to boil potatoes, for instance, could be used to water your plants, wash your windows (although not well) or, for the truly eco-minded, bathe in. Add a squeeze of lemon for a fresh smell!
- Fliers, mailers, and the envelopes your bills came in can be used in a number of ways including wrapping paper, stationery, and as an extra layer of weather protection between your shirt and your jacket when you discover that you can’t afford a winter coat.
- Consider the cooking implications of used hot-dog water. Wienie Water Soup is economical and has been overlooked for too long! Frozen in cubes, it makes both an excellent soup stock and a conversation-starter when found in a gin-and-tonic..

• Turn the thermostat down in the winter and invest in cats. Free kittens are everywhere – and warm! A pile of cats on your bed is the antidote to a chilly room and far more money-saving than heating the whole house. Feed them Wienie Water Soup and whatever may have moved into the basement.

• Do you really need a phone? Do you really need cable television? Unfortunately, the answers to these questions are “yes”. There’s nothing to be done here.

• Mix your own prescription drugs. Holistic healers tell us that many remedies can be found in nature. Explore this possibility vigorously and be sure to invite me over for the testings. A little tree bark, a handful of dandelions, a pinch of the good mushrooms mixed with potato water and applied internally? You’ll be saying “what headache?” and "if you need me I'll be laying on the floor over here" in no time!

• The cost of gas just keeps going up. Four dollars a gallon by summer, they’re predicting! Ride shares, motorcycles, buses? Is this enough? Telecommuting has become more and more popular: Consider a home business, perhaps something involving the trading of leftover wienie water.

That’s all I have for now. But there must be more.

Opportunity for success is everywhere.

38 comments:

Gary Baker said...

You know when you talk into a microphone it generates a little electricity?
Why not wire it up to the national grid?
Earn money off your energy bill during kettle drum practise. Let the baby cry knowing it's doing its bit for the family's economics. Or stand on a kitten then row with your spouse about standing on kittens ... the list is endless.
As always, Pearl, you're an inspiration.

Pearl said...

Excellent thoughts, Gary. I've noticed lately that there's enough electricity in the air to send respectable sparks through my earbuds (iPod headphones) into my brain.

Yikes. Did I just acknowledge that I receive regular electric shocks to the head?!

Mollye said...

Oh now you have me wearing my serious thinking cap. I found your blog through Tracy and just had to be a new follower because my sainted mother in law was Pearl and with Pearl as a name you have just got to be adorable and wise. Hugs, Mollye

Pearl said...

Mollye, I like how you think! :-)

Roses said...

Hmmm....I've been thinking of collecting the cat hairs. I was wondering if I could then turn them into felt and make clothes from them. Or use them as insulation for the house.

What do you think?

SparkleFarkel said...

Pouring the potato water into your fish bowl (Not immediately, of course. Wouldn't want to scald the gup-gups! That would mean you'd have to buy Bactine and CRIPES! That stuff is expensey!) is a good idea, too. It will only make the aquarium look cloudy. You'll say, "Oh, that bowl's not dirty, that's just the potato water." See? Knowing that, you won't have to change the "fish scenery," and by not doing that, VOILA! You save water!

God, these are all such great eco idee-ers! I especially go for the cat investment one. You're a genius, Pearliegirl!

Happy Valentine’s Day!
Luv-hugs and smoochies,
SparkleFarkle

P. S. Enjoy!–> Just for you: CLICK!

Anonymous said...

Well, now I know the dress code for dinner at your place! Haha. I love your idea of using kittens. My mind reels with possibilities! Don't need bedroom slippers - wear kittens. Bald? Wear a kitten. Yes, the answer to so many things.

Sioux Roslawski said...

I think if you bathe in the potato water and wear the same set of clothes long enough, you will save on OTC medicine, because people won't get close enough to you to pass on a cold.

KimberFNP said...

Great post ... but if you get bored with the weenie soup, just add some of the potatoes you boiled.

laughingmom said...

Oh, but if you do the laundry (like I am right now) you can amass some AMAZING dryer lint - use it to make more clothes, toys for your cats, or to strain the potato/weenie water!

Kal said...

Everytime I try to mix my own prescriptions I end up with a new malady that needs a prescription for. It's a viscious circle.

Dazee Dreamer said...

I would love to be naked while eating because I do spill a lot. But honestly, I think the guys at work would run away in fear if I was eating naked. :)

Bossy Betty said...

You are my favorite Green Minnesotan. I also like that you are, you know, like, eco-friendly.

Grant said...

You will save on cat food once you realize that cats ARE food.

Kate Mohler said...

You're a woman after my own heart! Love the weenie-water idea; gonna try that one. I prefer wearing dirty clothes...don't know why...so I'm good there.

Casey Freeland said...

Sign me up for your program. That could be your stay-at-home job. You could teach people how to live cheaper... Sort of. Come to think of it, I'd have to boil a LOT of potatoes to have enough water for a bath. Hmmm...

Cheers,

Casey

Betty Davis said...

Love it! I am already ahead of the curve. I water my plants with potato water and my dog loves weinie water on his old dry dog food. I was raised on home remedies. A teaspoon of black pepper in a cup of hot black coffee is guaranteed to cure stomach cramps caused by too many weinie water cubes in your gin & tonic.

ShanimalsCrackers.blogspot.com said...

Haha, these are clever. Liked this post!

Kay Dennison said...

I swapped cable TV for Netflix and saved thirty bucks a month. I get my news, etc. from the 'Net. It works for me.

Madame DeFarge said...

I recycle my efforts at work. Every day I do the same thing over and over again. Saves wasting effort on creating anything new.

UBERMOUTH said...

LMFAO!!!! It's better you have dogs warm your bed and feed them the cats whose waste can fertilize the garden, or they could do for a chicken substitute in a pinch.

Leenie said...

LOL! Our group of church ladies is having a meeting this Wednesday evening with the topic of "Eat it up. Wear it out. Make it do or do without." There will be a contest for the best money saving ideas. (refreshments and nursery provided). I'm taking your ideas to share. If I win I'll send you half of whatever the prize. Deal?

(I'm thinking the eat naked idea is a sure winner)

Simply Suthern said...

Eliza Bean and Dolly Gee might get a bit nervous after reading this post.

Jhon Baker said...

haha! What a list for the cost and eco minded. I would love to meet the person who bathes in potato water - possibly a better use of it is making polish baked goods and selling them from out your window to the walkers and bus stop aficionados. Another way to improve your smell if you are going for the clothes washing stretch and bathing in potato water is to stand close to a good smelling person and accidentally rub against them a few times.

Belle said...

Wienie Water Soup sounds so good! All your suggestions were hilarious! I actually did drink potato water when I read about how healthy it was. It's not bad.

Deborah said...

I'm so old school and learned how to cook from my momma so I always use potato water when I'm making gravy. I pour some potato and vegi water into the crispies in the meat pan to make the broth I thicken for gravy.

OLD I AM!

You may not believe this one, but when I was a kid we were friends with a family that had 8 or 9 children and they made weenie water soup regularly! I am not lyin'.

Our family joked about it always! Weenie water soup - omg.

You are killing me today.

Not So Simply Single said...

I like your perspective. You are quite clever.

I always wanted my name to be Pearl. Pearl the cute girl, that has a nice ring to it.

Aloha,
Lisa

injaynesworld said...

There's an acceptable length of time you can wear the same pair of pants? I thought the test was when they can stand up by themselves. Oops. Imagine my embarrassment.

David Macaulay said...

Very thought provoking - I'd also recommend wearing short sleeved shirts all year to save the cost of sleeves and ride a unicycle to save the potential cost of replacing a tire.

jenny_o said...

Am I the only one here old enough to remember saving the fat from frying bacon to grease the pan or do other cooking in? or changing clothes after school or work so that our "good" clothes could be put away and worn again - numerous times? My mom did laundry for four people just once a week, and it was usually three to four loads only - whites, darks, and sheets/towels. Actually we only had a full bath once a week then too. Sponge baths as needed during the week. Nobody minded because everyone did the same thing. Am I old?

Lazarus said...

Here's one: No need to buy books or go to the movies, just read Pearl's blog posts and her excellent chapbook!

On My Soapbox said...

But but but then what will I do with the kittens this summer?? Hmmm, now if only I could design a kitty treadmill, they could generate electricity and pay for their room and board!

Rosie said...

Used hot dog water. Excuse me while I throw up. Eeeuuuuwww.

Vintage Christine said...

It's amazing how brilliant people become once the money dries up--we were total zombies when we had an income (spend spend we must spend) but now that we have NO income we do many things similar to your creative ideas.

Sausage said...

The wife and I did try the eating naked thing once, unfortunately it was on a Thursday night and Thursday night is chili-dog night.
Burn baby burn...

http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com said...

Ah... imagine the culinary delights of mixing the potato water with the wienie water! You're an inspiration, Pearl, as always!

Cake Betch said...

A pile of kittens would be AMAZING. But I'd have to toss them out the door after three months though because everyone knows that kittens are only cute until they become cats.

Unknown said...

If I knew you in real life, would you make me drink wienie water? Wienie water, wienie water, wienie water. It's more fun to say than it is to drink.