I awoke this morning with the distinct impression that I had slept with my eyes open.
My first thought was of what this would look like, as I’ve always seen my un-rested self as Nosferatu.
So far, no one’s come after me with a string of garlic bulbs; and all seasonings aside, and as far as I know, I slept last night.
And so now I’m wondering: do I feel as if my eyes are open at night because I’ve been keeping them shut during the day?
I’m not much of a fan of reality, really; and while I admit that I balance my checkbook, keep tabs on my weight and watch the news as often as I can bear it, there are lots of things I don’t want to see.
And so I do not.
Things creep up on the periphery of our lives. Questions are asked, answers avoided. Like a dripping faucet that was originally just an annoyance in the wee and unblinking hours, untended and dismissed the drip becomes a deluge, capable of ruining furniture and creating unpaid invoices.
Tell me. When you first caught sight of the problem, did you hope it would just go away?
And when it didn’t – as you suspected it wouldn’t – did you continue to pretend that you didn’t see it?
Jesse: The Boy Who Gave
3 hours ago
23 comments:
With many problems, yes. I have infact posted a blog today that encompasses a problem I am unable to dismiss. A problem I not only must see but must resolve. It's a horrible, horrible problem that I do wish would go away.
when I saw there was a problem between her and I I did what needed to be done... move on, alone for now, but that will, I imagine, change in time
Denial is the mechanism that keeps us from seeing things we're not prepared to handle. So, don't intensify the crap you're dealing with by getting down on yourself over your denial. It served a purpose by letting you wait until you were ready/strong enough to cope.
And you will.
"creating unpaid invoices." what a great line!
I'm 50/50 on this one--half the time I nip things in the bud because I know from experience that I pay dearly in the long run. Half the time I let things fester.
We must be working from the same operating manual :)
Yes, more than once I've been known to keep my eyes closed until a problem hit me upside the head. And I learned at a young age to pretend that things didn't bother or disappoint me. Surprise, that can still be a problem for me.
I don't shut my eyes, but I am worse than the blind man walking... I just keep my mouth shut despite all I see...
Of course, this is within reason, but it is still something I am known for.
I liked this post a lot...
Yep, I am an olympic-lever avoider. You only have to see my back garden with its WWII japanese soldier-concealing grass/jungle to know that. I once avoided so successfully, my house nearly fell down. Now THAT was expensive!
I think we all do this from time to time. Why make a big thing a big thing if it is not going to be a big thing?
Fascinating post, I think suppression is one of the most crucial elements of human survival - the incomparable ability to subjugate thoughts beneath our normal conciousness. Without it, humanity would not be where it is today.
I have a leak in my shower that is showing up in the ceiling at the bottom of my stairs. I try not to use that shower until I can afford for a plumber or a friend to come in and fix it.
I am from the esteemed "Cut And Run School Of Dealing With Sticky,Tricky Grown Up Issues"..you should hear our fight song it's called "Crickets On Mt. Rushmore"
There are so many reasons why we "run" and ironically they all point to our inability to move on.
A wonderful book "Stuck" by Anneli Rufus examines this topic brilliantly.
Peace ~ Rene
My heart just sank a wee bit reading between the lines. Been there - done that. A sufficient dose of denial helps to insulate us until we're ready to take the ugly out and stare it in the face. Thinking about you tonight.
I always try to let a problem work itself out first...then I just get down to fixing it.
Each of us has our own time frame though...so don't feel rushed.
If you need help...I volunteer!!!
=]
Someone a helluva lot wiser than me said, "God tickles you with a feather and if you don't listen, He hits you with a brick." I've had my share of bricks, so I'm more inclined to pay attention the first time these days.
Interesting question poised, as always, in a delightful style.
Your first sentence is amazing. The post had me in it's grasp from there.
If you sleep with your eyes open, you could simply place a pillow under the dripping tap and allow it to gently moisten your conjunctiva whilst the incessant dripping lulls you into a peaceful slumber.
And remember, a problem is just a solution that someone else hasn't provided for you yet.
I'm a tackle the problem while it's fresh and catchable sort of gal, but that doesn't mean I don't want to wish it away all the same.
I must admit that I do this .. not sleep with my eyes open but I do ignore things that just require too much of me. Be it Thought or Effort or Action.
Sometimes they work themselves out because of this, sometimes someone else has to intervene.
And then there are days when Problems run away from me, the Magnificent Problem Solver.
My suggestion is to nap in the afternoon, I betcha your eyes will stay shut tight and problems will shrivel up in size.
Thanks to Irish Gumbo for my finding your blog :)
Oh, so many times! Most recently, with an ill-conceived idea to stay living with a boyfriend who could not have been worse for me. Ok, well, he could have been worse, I suppose, if he had been plotting to kill me like in that movie Jagged Edge, where she finds THE typewriter in a closet that tells her HE IS THE KILLER. But anyway, I don't think he was going to kill me. I just think he was a jerk and I didn't know it or admit it to myself until much later than I should have.
Thanks for the thought-provoking post (found you through You've Got to be Kidding Me).
I believe in putting off dealing with a problem until it resolves itself. Or Faye demands I take care of it.
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