T's Chasing Leaves

T worries about properly de-leafing his yard.

After discovering his inner-gardener this summer, overcoming territorial struggles with the squirrels, and finding the sprinkler of his dreams, the man whose home interior is done in Early Abandoned Property now has a pristine yard, and he wants it to stay that way.

Winter looms; so T’s winding up his garden hose, re-boxing the Power Arc Sprinkler 2100 with Detachable Bottle Opener and is dead serious about keeping his lawn 100% leaf-free right up to the leaf-bagging deadline.

“I’m gonna run the lawnmower over it one more time. Get the grass the right height, get those last few leaves up and bagged. Did I tell you that I got a mower that bags while it cuts?”

“Yeah, I’ve seen it.”

“You have?”

“You showed it to me last time I was here.”

Honestly, he’s shown it to me several times now; but I haven’t the heart to tell him.

The strangest thing about all of it, to me, anyway, is that T’s working with a deadline. A leaf-removing deadline.

The City of Minneapolis, in its curious wisdom, stops taking bagged leaves with the garbage tomorrow morning.

“Isn’t that nice?” he says. “And you just know they’re going to blow in from all the people who couldn’t be bothered to rake at all! Damn but some of these people are ghetto!”

I pointed out that as stupid as an arbitrary deadline is, he could always continue to bag them up and store them in his garage until spring.

He just looked at me and shook his head. I think I disappointed him somehow…