Could I Interest You In Donating a Portion of Your Wages…

I’ve worked in an office of one type or another since, oh, the Earth’s crust cooled, so you are safe in believing me when I tell you that it is so much more than typing.

Well, okay, not really that much more than typing. Sometimes there are meetings.

Aside from the typing and the meetings, though, there are the drives. What kind of drives, you say? Oh, just blood, coats, socks, canned goods, new toys for Christmas, and hurricane- and storm-relief drives. We have silent auctions to raise money for a cure for breast cancer; whole days dedicated to the United Way; and the availability, at a dollar a pop, to buy stickers that give said sticker-wearer permission to wear jeans to work.

Could I interest someone in giving to the United Working Women Lunch Fund? Donations may be sent to me.

Do I sound cynical?

Hey! I give blood! Sometimes on purpose!

My favorite drives include food. Taco in a Bag (yes, really), Death by Chocolate (completely inappropriate for anything health-related, but who can resist chocolate?), Bake Sales to help bring down the national debt. OK, I made up that last one, but the way things are going, how far away from it can we be? Can I put you on the list to bring a big plate of chocolate chip cookies to put towards the trade deficit?

The new one, though, the drive and the means by which we hope to raise money that’s really caught my eye, is the Pancake Frenzy.

The Pancake Frenzy!

You want to shout it, don’t you? Say it with me: Pancake Frenzy!

We will be having a Pancake Frenzy at work next Thursday, proceeds of which will go to stock a local food shelf. Seriously. All the pancakes you can eat (syrup optional) for $5 or non-perishable food item.

Five dollars or the contribution of a non-perishable food item? Guess who’s getting that can of pumpkin pie filling I’ve been saving? Ha ha!

Pancake Frenzy. I can’t wait.