Time Off from Planning Time Off

I spent three hours on the Internet last night, looking for a vacation spot for next summer. This is not nearly as much fun as it sounds.

It’s a lot of responsibility, planning a vacation, especially if your ideas rarely mesh with the other person’s – namely, my husband’s, William Throckmorton the III.

OK, that is not his real name. His real name is Brutus.

Brutus’s idea of vacation includes bowling, outdoor stadiums, possibly sleeping on the ground, and as many Buffalo wings as he can keep down. WT-III is a simple man with simple pleasures; and as long as there’s the possibility of a bonfire at the end of a day (intentional or not), he considers it time well spent.

My idea of vacation includes massages, having my hair brushed, and sushi and sake in equal amounts.

Clearly this marriage is in trouble.

But that’s not the issue. The issue is coming up with somewhere that isn’t like here, somewhere where there might be a combination of wings and massages, bowling and sushi. And would theater be too much?

I’m not liking my odds.

Last summer we drove a rental car, in a sleep-deprived, caffeine-fueled blur, to the West Coast where we visited my cousin Shell and her family in Yelm, WA. Ever heard of Yelm? No, me neither. But it’s a lovely place surrounded by miles and miles of mile-high trees. Makes you feel this big. From there, we stayed four days at the Izaak Walton Inn in Essex, Montana, right on the edge of Waterton/Glacier National Park. You know, you don’t get a good idea for how hard nature can be until you’re in an area with a town called “Hungry Horse” or watch mountain goats trot up the side of a mountain to get to “Goat Lick”.

Here's me, waiting for my massage. Ha ha!







From there, we drove home. Straight home from Montana. Kinda misjudged when the car had to be back...

And THIS is one reason our drive home took a full 24 hours. We were caught in this mess o’ beef for over two hours.
I have to admit that I laughed until I almost wet myself when one of the cows got close enough to stick her massive head in the passenger window. WT-III lost his cool as he tried to press the “up” for the window while simultaneously trying to get away. That cow wanted desperately to lick the side of my husband’s head. I only wish I’d taken a picture – her tongue was the size of small child.

So I don’t know if you’re getting a sense for this yet, but on that vacation, there was no sushi, I wore a dress during a hike (actually I thought I looked quite charming) and no one brushed my hair. A beautiful, beautiful vacation, but no pampering. I want to be pampered, dammit! I’m willing to pay for it! I’m working two jobs over here – when’s my vacation kicking in?

Anyway, we’re thinking Chicago. Maybe Saint Louis. Maybe Ontario. Little does he know, however, that I’ve also been checking out websites on places people from Minnesota just don’t go to, like the Maldives. WOW. Beautiful, but out of my wallet’s reach.

Any ideas? Where’s your greatest vacation spot?