I've been included in a Minnesota anthology "Under Purple Skies", now available on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Friday, October 9, 2015

The Inside of My Mind is a Smooth, Blank Canvas

I’ve lost my notebook.

You know the one, the one with all my brilliant ideas in it.

OK.  Well, they weren’t all brilliant.  I remember the notation I made the day the white guy sat next to me on the bus, only to turn around and commiserate with four seats of black folk that “the white man, man, is just trying to hold us down.”

There was the time I wrote “I see nothing wrong with the word “moist”. 

And there was the time I wrote, apparently after more gin and tonics than were required, “You’ve got it takes.  Figure out what “it” is.”

There was also a grocery list.

And now?  Here I sit, fresh out of canned ideas, left to the whims of a whirring mind and a blank screen.

I shall have to start another, of course.  They come fast and furious, these ideas: thoughts on the proper way to get the cat to pay half the utilities; how much to tip when you get your elbows polished (at least 15%); ideas on what kind of person sits, legs out, on a city sidewalk.

There’s been an uptick in that lately, by the way.

You hear that?  This is where I sigh.   

So unless I hear from you, you may get 200-some words on the time I spent a whole movie de-pilling sweaters.

He’p. 


24 comments:

sage said...

No grocery list and out of canned ideas? Let's see if I can help: corn, spinach, beans, olives, sauerkraut, potted meat...

joeh said...

The white man has kept me down for years!

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
...I'd be looking for my own elbow polishing neccessities at that rate... now, tell us about that ride - you know, the one where you missed your stop and decided to exlore the possibilities... or not. Your call. &*> YAM xx

jenny_o said...

And just what is wrong with de-pilling sweaters of an evening?? It's better than spending two hours sorting buttons by colour.

Oops.

vanilla said...

So, is there no longer a bus ride in your daily routine? Or is "routine" the problem?

Anonymous said...

Oh Pearl....not the notebook. Nooooooooo. Well, a fresh start perhaps. Maybe a notebook with little sparkly stars on it and a string attached you can slip over your wrist.

Anonymous said...

If I ever lost my notes I'd have to steal someone else's--I mean come up with new ideas!!

Notes From ABroad said...

A movie is the best place to de-pill a sweater ! Just don't wear black jeans .. or corduroy.

Elephant's Child said...

I suspect that even your grocery lists would have wit and charm.
Let me know if you find/remember a way to get the cats to contribute more than fur and purrs though.

Geo. said...

"Moist" is synonymous with good health among gastropods. It's a handsome word but leaves a mucous-trail.

Jono said...

I need to carry a notebook for when all the ideas only light up my brain for a few moments. Or less.

Buttons Thoughts said...

So what was on the grocery list? Just curious:) I hope you find your notes I have a few of those notebooks myself they are worth gold you know. Then you can buy chocolate. Hug B

Catalyst said...

In a notebook, on a blog, just floating in the air . . . your ideas are golden, Pearl.

Sioux Roslawski said...

And those 200 words on de-pilling--if they're written by Pearl--will be engaging, perhaps rollicking, perhaps poignant.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

Have you ever worn pantyhose on a hot and humid day, Pearl? After taking them off, one must definitely spread their legs. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Crotch sweat is the worst. This is probably the reason most women go bare legged.

Jocelyn said...

Can we read about when you got your first period?

When a girl was mean to you?

When you surprised yourself with your courage?

About your worst roommate situation?

About your first job?

Could you give us a recipe, Pearl-style, for something you like to cook?

About a memory with someone in your extended family?

River said...

"you've got what it takes. Figure out what 'it' is"
"it" would be a zombie, the "what" is your brains.
Be extra careful on the 31st (*~*)

the walking man said...

Seriously Pearl of the Twin Cities Pearls is asking for input to replace a notebook? My o My where do we go with this blankness--hmm we know you've had sex at least once as you have mentioned your male pearl child--besides that would probably be TMI. Speaking of TMI--workplace acronyms and short speech used to hide truth from the boss who would only complicate the reality because they never really understand--you take the bus a lot--what kind of car did pearl gift herself with--my guess is a VW Diesel TDI--Cats my goodness no suggestions from here, my last cat was named Killer and it wasn't other four legged creatures it was killing but bi-pods--Oh shit then there was the time you cussed out your boss at the grommet factory...Life is amazing dig deep.

Raymond Alexander Kukkee said...

Pearl, I have to admire your creativity, you are an inspiration. You don't need a notebook. You do, however, need the bus for all of your characters ":D

Marty said...

Worst of all, think of the brilliant, profitable essays being cranked out this very minute by the person who found your notebook and is mining it for his own nefarious uses.

Linda O'Connell said...

Oh Pearl, you've got what it takes. Define IT. Is there snow up in them there hills, yet?

Watson said...

Perhaps your notebook knew it was time for renewal. A nice new notebook with a special cover that is colorful and happy and inspires new insights. I can't wait to see what fills the pages.

Should Fish More said...

Huh, this post has generated some odd, actually marginally inappropriate comments, eh? Ah well, probably a sign of good writing.

Nothing wrong with a tabula rasa, Pearl. We all should have a blank slate sometimes.

Rose L said...

That whirring mind of yours can get you in trouble.