I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in my sleep patterns, and I think you should know about it.
Here it is: Every night, I wake up at 3:06. Every single night.
Of course it’s to use the bathroom; and I’ve come to terms with that.
What amazes me, though, is that it’s always at 3:06. Always.
Twenty-five years ago, this would’ve wigged me right out. I would have already fashioned some either horribly gory tale about the dreadful murders that took place in my house at exactly 3:06 or a poignant tale of unrequited love that, well, somehow involves the numbers three-oh-six.
I haven’t quite worked that one out yet.
And why? Because I’m a silly, gullible American made permanently irrational and superstitious by years of crap Hollywood movies, that’s why.
Thanks, Hollywood.
Of course, I’m better now. Older and wiser and all that.
Unless of course I’m in the basement and the light goes out.
Or if I repeatedly get phone calls with no one on the other end.
No, really. I’m better now; and 3:06 or no 3:06, by 3:08 I’m back in bed, Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys) whispering into her cell phone, Dolly G. Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers) pushing her wet little nose into my ear.
Now let’s see ‘em ruin that.
Here it is: Every night, I wake up at 3:06. Every single night.
Of course it’s to use the bathroom; and I’ve come to terms with that.
What amazes me, though, is that it’s always at 3:06. Always.
Twenty-five years ago, this would’ve wigged me right out. I would have already fashioned some either horribly gory tale about the dreadful murders that took place in my house at exactly 3:06 or a poignant tale of unrequited love that, well, somehow involves the numbers three-oh-six.
I haven’t quite worked that one out yet.
And why? Because I’m a silly, gullible American made permanently irrational and superstitious by years of crap Hollywood movies, that’s why.
Dead people coming to life after they’ve been drowned/burned/thrown out of airplanes/blown into space? Well how else are we going to milk this to a sequel? Places everybody! The producers have a boat payment to make!
People leaping out of ridiculously improbable locations? Hey! Who doesn’t have something bursting through the interior of their waterbed? I’ll buy that! Oh, and when the "director's cut" comes out, I'll buy that, too!
Phone calls from beyond the grave predicting my imminent demise and what?! I can't hear you! Speak up! What do you mean “will I accept the charges”?
Thanks, Hollywood.
Of course, I’m better now. Older and wiser and all that.
Unless of course I’m in the basement and the light goes out.
Or if I repeatedly get phone calls with no one on the other end.
No, really. I’m better now; and 3:06 or no 3:06, by 3:08 I’m back in bed, Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys) whispering into her cell phone, Dolly G. Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers) pushing her wet little nose into my ear.
Now let’s see ‘em ruin that.
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19 comments:
I love how the wisdom of age and the urgency of our bladders trump our youthful fears.
This reminds me of the movie 'The Amityville Horror'. The main character woke up at the same time every night in the middle of the night and it was supposedly the time that the previous family had been murdered. Eerie! But now that I think back to it, maybe it was just bladder urgency after all :)
The waking at a certain time may not be unusual, I get up at sometime near 2:30 for the same reason. I haven't slept the night through for 35 years, the oldest girl, when 3 to 6, would awake every night to use the bathroom. After she was 4 she didn't need help, but would wake me to let me know.
3:06? Did you realise the prime roots of 306 are 2, 3 and 17? Spooky.
I'm trying to come up with a reason for that specific arbitrary number, but Indigo's idea is more scary than anything I can imagine!
Hari OM
Drat, now I have to think about what happened at 0330h every bally place I lived... YAM xx
Play those numbers. That's all I have to say.
That is very strange. Or a habit. One or the other, definitely.
From the time our first child was born until there were no more kids at home, I could wake up at the slightest sound. Now I sleep like concrete. I figure I am just making up for all the years before.
I woke up in 1949. Still groggy.
I would definitely do something with those numbers. Seriously.
I would definitely do something with those numbers. Seriously.
Oh yes. And snap. Though it is (at the moment) 3.27 when my eyes roll back and say that sleep is over. For the day.
You are probably going to bed at the same time each night...Like...maybe...11:34 (look at that on a digital clock, upside down....)
This has a creepy Amityville Horror vibe about it. The husband in that movie woke up at 3:15 every morning. My suggestion: Hide the axe somewhere that's difficult to reach.
Ask your mum if you were born at 3:06am. If not, play those numbers in the next big lottery.
I finally get control over my bladder and sleep all night, then get a kitten, who now wakes me for breakfast soon after 3am by pushing his nose repeatedly into the hollow in my cheek and then licking whatever section of my face he can get to.
But aren't you hesitant to put your feet on the floor, for fear the thing under the bed will grab your ankle?
Somebody beat me to the lottery angle on those numbers.
So I wonder what happens if some night you DON'T wake up at 3:08?
I used to worry about my feet hanging off the bed when I was a kid...as Linda wrote, ankles can be grabbed. I of course pictured chainsaws ... :8-0
Twilight Zone time...do do do do, do do do do....
The only reason I wake at regular times each night is to go pee!!!
And if it is raining outside, I get up more often!
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