I am standing at the bus stop.
And I am listening to a sunburnt, disheveled woman with a
voice like a brass gong explain to a sunburnt, disheveled man how “big
government is ruining the entrepreneurial spirit” of the United States – all while
clutching a sign that says “Anything Helps. God Bless!” – when the man on
the recorder starts up.
The man on the recorder.
The man with the skillz needed to play both Three Blind Mice
and Row, Row, Row Your Boat.
There he is, on the corner of Nicollet and 8th: a man with the burning desire to share a
less-than-average gift with the world.
His rendition of Three Blind Mice is one thing.
But his version of Popeye the Sailor Man is another.
Popeye the Sailor Man:
Eight bars of simplicity beaten into shrill, trilling submission by a
man with an upended top hat at his feet.
Look. I have nothing
against buskers, against street musicians.
I don’t mind the guy that advertises a personalized poem for a dollar. And I certainly don’t begrudge a living to the
little South American dude with the accordion or the toothless man that claps
his hands and sings “Oh, Happy Day”.
But the man who plays the recorder?
I want to crush him.
Is my violent reaction because of the way he plays nursery
tunes, the instrument pointed toward the heavens in ecstasy? The way he closes his eyes and sways, moved
by his trilling virtuosity? The way he
seems to know only the very beginning of Somewhere Over the Rainbow yet manages
to make it last for ten minutes?
Frankly, it’s all those things.
I don’t know, man. I
think I need a vacation or something.
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38 comments:
Come south, Pearlie! We've got beaches, and ocean, and some darn good musicians~
So, the title took me by surprise and made me laugh. I don't think I'll be trying to drop it into conversation today, tho ... :)
Shelly, I am seriously considering it. :-)
Suze, I believe buskercide is still frowned upon, no matter how much one feels one has been provoked!
You are cute even when you are screaming inside!
Ray, :-)
feeling a tad bit stressed, are you? :) this made me laugh, though.
I have seen the recorder played in a formal orchestra. It seems to be an adaptable instrument.
I always thought of it as a practice device.
I have to disagree with you there. It's not that a vacation wouldn't be a fine idea; it always is. The problem is that you're blaming your reaction on stress, when even from this far away I can clearly hear that man tying up and torturing that innocent music.
Get yer tube socks and oranges ready. Sounds like you need them.
TexWis, things could always be worse, I suppose. :-)
goatman, you know, I can see someone talented getting a pretty sweet Irish ditty out of it, but I'm with you: always struck me as a practice instrument.
Jenny_o, LOL! Wish I'd thought of that!
Could be worse, he could be playing bagpipes.
Douglas, but if he was playing the bagpipes, we might get a look at 'is knees.
Hubba hubba.
Hari Om
Haey - dinnae dis the pipes mon! Nor the recorder. I am an orchestral recorder player - all five species of it. Ancient flute of good order.
The instrument is just fine. The player I too have issues with. You have my permission to make marmalade a la tubular leg wear. @} YAM xx
**laughing**
:D Thank you.
Downtown is full of discord this summer and it's not all city council...some of it is recorder music.
Thanks goodness they don't actually record anything.
We had to buy one for our daughter in elementary school. It's kinda like paying someone to pull teeth without numbing them first.
Yamini, I fear this recorder is a poor substitute for either the instrument itself or the musician!
Rose, any time! :-)
Delores, there IS something weird about this summer. Or is there something weird every summer? I forget between seasons. :-)
Simply, the elementary-school recorder is a gate-way instrument, man. :-)
At least we get enjoyment out of your misery...is that wrong?
I feel badly. All I can play is the kazoo.
joeh, I am willing to suffer on your behalf.
Al, don't see yourself short. You're an AWESOME kazoo player. :-)
You probably kept hearing it over and over again in your head all day too, I would guess. Arrgh!
"I'm Popeye the sailor man..." :D
I recommend a long holiday in England! If you're quick, the rain is still lovely and warm! =) x
Dammit, Daisy!!! :-)
Indigo, :-) Summer in London! Well, I probably wouldn't have to quick get a base tan, would I?
Makes me glad I don't have to stand around at bus stops... :)
My views might be considered extreme here - but the man, on the recorder, butchering nursery rhymes? Well, he needs to go. No two ways about it.
There I said it. Send all hate mail to Pearl.
Don't pay him to stop... he might keep playing... lol
Actually, Pearl, you need a new bus stop.
Ooooh! Have you heard the new Target adds with the recorders???
go to: http://youtu.be/T8HTmTnfDYE
Maybe he's working on the next commercial gig???
Some days, some bus stops, no jury would convict on the buskercide charge. And if they had to listen to the busker in question you might get an award. We have a singer whose voice could rend a paper cup into shreds....
Ah...the recorder. The one instrument I was forced to learn in elementary school...and remains to this day the one instrument I despise. I could never get the song The Lion Sleeps Tonight fully down, and because of that I earned a 'C' in music class. That 'C' is my scarlet letter. My own personal iron mask. The crimp in my soul.
The frickin' recorder...
The recorder is a tiresome instrument even when perfectly played by professionals - no dynamics.
I hate buskers...and carnies (sorry Pearl) but they annoy the heck out of me.
We have a busker here in Adelaide who plays the recorder really well, but when he plays the saxophone, you think you've died and gone to heaven, he's that good. I always toss him a few gold coins more than I give the others. Perhaps I should send him to Minnesota to play for you? He plays the clarinet as well.
It must be a sociology experiment - else why would someone try to extract money from fools who only tolerate that instrument under duress when played by the fruit of their loins (or their loinfruits loins)?
There is a thesis in it, I bet.
Hello Perlchen,
I haven't popped in for a long time! Still working those keys to the max girlie!
If you ever need a vacation, Cardiff isn't the place I'm afraid!
I had to put my fingers in my ears just reading about the recorder guy. Hope you're healing.
Whyte Ave. in Edmonton. But hurry. We're expecting snow before the end of the month.
Maybe he is just learning. Be supportive, and walk away Pearl--walk away!
Don't get me wrong, I really like street musicians. However, in my humble opinion, they MUST have some talent, or I won't give them a dime.
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