It’s a little late this year, but fervent, almost ardent preparations are underway for this
year’s Naked America!, Minneapolis’s
yearly, giddy welcome of spring. Like last
year, there will be the parade on downtown and the naming of Miss Nekkid Pucker;
the Bus Scramble, known in prior, less enlightened years as the Chinese
Firedrill; and, of course, the often amusing half-keg shot-put event, named by
Sports Illustrated as “both unsightly and disturbing”.
The first place prize for the most creative use of the
words “The Netherlands” in the Haiku contest remains, as last year, a
round-trip ticket to JUST ABOUT ANYWHERE ELSE.
The second place prize is a boot to the keester and a
lecture from the aunt of your choice.
Am I making this up?
Absolutely! And
you know why?
Because I can. And
because we just received six inches of snow.
Snow! As I said to
the television screen just last night “What the –“.
And so winter spits ice into our faces just one last time
and I am forced to return to my winter coat, AKA The Sleeping Bag, and my
winter boots, affectionately referred to as “Snuggles” and “Butch”.
“Butch” is on the right.
Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you. Is this what passes for spring in this part
of the world?
And what does it say about me that I remain here, knowing
this?
And so the voice of
my grandma, sweet and country-seasoned, whispers in my ear: Oh, hush now, you silly girl and run fetch me
my recipe box. We'll warm the kitchen at least...
35 comments:
And as SW Ontario falls once more into the ice bound grip of winter I second your granies advice....let's head to the kitchen and cook something.
All I can say is that in our second day of rain it is still liquid. Cold, grey and wet-a Michigan spring.
I like the voice of your grandma. Come down here and go to the beach with me~
Ah yes, we are eagerly awaiting that particular manifestation of Spring in Montreal tomorrow.
I console myself by thinking that I, at least, can't legally move to New Mexico. The best I can do in Canada is go to Vancouver where it rains 300 days out of the year.
Some Chambord brownies should do the trick...and even if they don't, who'll care while they're eating them?
Ahh, you people warm my the cockles of my heart.
And -- wait. There are Chambord brownies now?!
I would love to have heard your grandma's voice in the last couple of days here when it was snowing with highs in the 20s.
Indeed; what does it say about you?
Here in Portland (The one in Oregon. The real one.) we actually have a Naked Bike Ride day. It's a rather big to do where tons a of people ride their bikes through downtown naked. For real. However we hardly ever get snow here.
LOVE the words of your very wise Grandma Pearl I had a Grandma just like that. Lucky girls we are. Keep the snow we in Canada do not want it now:) B
Seems like Spring failed to Sprung.
Oh lord I would NOT want to see one of these in the town I live in lol
We are scheduled for snow and sleet tomorrow...I'll be cooking to warm up the kitchen! Your grandma was a wise woman indeed!
I feel mean elling you that here in Southern California the weather has been in the 70's and I am sitting here in a Hane's undershirt and white panties. My feet are covered, though -- in flipflops.
Hari OM
Yup - soup. Thick, hearty soup. Like a stew but drinkable. Every vege going. Barley, lentils and beans.
Yup - soup to sup. That'll fix you up. YAM &~>
Ah yes . . . you had 6 inches of snow last night, we had 60 m.p.h. winds.
Come, Pearlie, help me pry the trampoline out of my trees.
Tired of waiting for spring, Mrs. C and I are going to Aruba in 2 weeks...that's sure to bring warm weather up North!
I wondered how you would deal with the snow with all that nekkedness. Best you rescheduled (I hope) and headed to the kitchen.
I think a celebration like this could really catch on across the northern part of the continent. Winter seems to be hanging on everywhere and it's making us all crazy :)
Sorry about the crappy weather. It came by here and we sent it packing. Guess Idaho isn't as kind-hearted to rotten weather vagrants as it the great state of Minnesota. You guys know how to put out the welcome mat and make snow feel welcome.
I say include the storm in your Naked America!party. Call it Fear Factor Naked America!and get all kinds of attention from reality show junkies.
we had a little snow in Denmark overnight too, I have heard there is only two seasons here - A white winter and a green winter. A far cry from my homeland Australia. I'm going to warm the kitchen now :)
About the NAKED BIKE RIDE: I had no idea such a thing existed! You can check it out here: http://www.laweekly.com/slideshow/world-naked-bike-ride-l-a-nsfw-30120632/
Will you be in the next one, Pearl?
I think it's time we put Mother Nature in the nursing home. I know she'll protest but she's been getting loopy of late....
You got snow? We got tornadoes on
the ground. I saw the best cartoon of a snowman on its back with knives plunged into it. The caption: Die winter, die!
I wish we had snow... It was 82 degrees when I left NC on Tuesday. I flew into Lagratua (or however you spell that airport in NYC that's not JFK) and it was 95 or better... Not onside, but inside as they had serious HVAC problems in the concourse/spa that I was waiting in... And then it was back to Michigan where today it's in the mid-30s and pouring down rain.
It's only because I love you that I won't tell you about the weather here...but I will say this, come on down. We'd welcome you with open arms.
This weather oddity happening all over is a wake-up call to what we have done. Mother Nature is not happy!!
Your granny sounds very wise. I wish I had known either of mine, and hope that they too would have wisdom - and a warm kitchen.
I say we skip this spring and get right to summer. I don't know how much more cold my multitude of previously broken bones can take!
Australia waits for you Pearl... Of course our border protection system is getting a little harsh these days. Just about all tourists get flown to our offshore Immigration Detention Centres on Easter Island. You only remain in Prison from 6 to 18 months while they check you out from birth to now before allowing you into the country. . . but it's worth it.
I love your Granny's words. Does she have quotes for the other seasons? I'd like to hear them.
We fortunately managed to dodge the snow and just have cold rain here. The daffodils have been trying to bloom for several days but haven't quite succeeded yet. I hope you bake cookies. Cookies sound good right now! Or bread! I love the smell of bread baking. :)
and right on schedule my oldest lost his winter coat. *sigh*
Well,Spring here...open windows, roses blooming, snow peas and salad greens,planting of tomatoes, picking of strawberries. Also rain and wind and more rain and some rain. Mud. Ponderings of turning on the air conditioner during the day and needing an extra blanket at night. oh, and the top down on the convertible. Ask again how it's going in August. I'm the in Deepest South, USA...near Savannah, Georgia.
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