I've been included in a Minnesota anthology "Under Purple Skies", now available on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Dolly Rifles Through the Want Ads

I woke up early Tuesday morning only to find Dolly Gee Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers) already up and sitting at the little breakfast table, a cup of coffee in front of her, a lit cigarette’s smoke being coaxed out a window, Patsy Cline playing softly in the background.

That cat knows how I feel about her smoking in the house.

Dolly and I have an odd relationship: I feed her small, flavored treats so that I can laugh while she stands on her back legs and she, in return, hoicks hairballs into my boots.

I’m not sure it’s an evenly sided relationship, but so few are these days.

Have you met Dolly Gee Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers)? Dolly is a rather stunning long-haired Siamese mixture, a sparsely-toothed puddy tat with a penchant for lying flat on her back, limbs akimbo, looking, for all the world, like a warm and suspiciously unseaworthy canoe.

It’s a strange moment, catching your cat unawares. One delicate claw stirring the heavily creamed coffee, her brilliantly blue (and sometimes crossed) eyes staring off in the distance, I walked in as she was singing.

“I go out walking, after midnight…”

Well, except she wasn’t so much singing along as she was meow-meowing along. “Meow-meow mi-meow meow, meow-meow meow meow…” You’d probably have to be there, but really it’s quite disconcerting, catching a cat singing.

She stopped as I entered the kitchen, shifted the gaze that had been out the window to concentrate on the want ad section of the newspaper spread out before her.

“Mornin’,” I said.

Dolly raised her cup and nodded. She knows how I feel about early morning chatter, not to mention the fact that her lisp makes her self-conscious.

“Looking for a job?” I asked.

“Mmmmm,” she said.

“I’ll catch you later then,” I said. I was all the way to the front door before I heard what could only be a cat clearing her throat. At the bottom of the steps, I turned around and looked up.

Dolly was holding my lunch. “Meow meow meow,” she said, which I can only interpret at “You forgot your lunch”.

She tossed it down to me.

“Thanks,” I said.

“Don’t menthun it,” she said.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

When a cat does something for you without being asked there is trouble afoot.

joeh said...

THondth like a really thweet puthy cat

Unknown said...

I love the image of her idly stirring her heavily creamed coffee with a needle-like claw.

You make me smile.

wellfedfred said...

Mmmmm, Patsy and coffee, cat knows how to start a day .

Optimistic Existentialist said...

As a cat person, this really made me laugh :)

Silliyak said...

I think the last meow could be translated as "Tip?"

Anonymous said...

I absolutely adore your kitties!!

Indigo Roth said...

Bless her! The young badgers packed me a sandwich one morning. Very sweet of them, tho they over-estimated my fondness for vermicular fillings. Still, I didn't go hungry. Roth x

Joanne Noragon said...

Had you actually packed a lunch? Dolly isn't that sweet.

jenny_o said...

One hopes she did not hoick a hairball into that lunch bag :)

The Cranky said...

There's only one thing to say about the morning's suspicious activities:
UH OH!

Elephant's Child said...

I would (perhasp foolishly) feel more comfortable with a lunch box that Dolly Gee packed than one packed by Liza Bean.

Unknown said...

You have the coolest roomies!
Rosemary

River said...

How sweet of Dolly to make sure you had your lunch. Did she find anything in the want ads?

Birdie said...

You may not know it but cats often have parties when we go out. It is true. I read it in a book once called Wednesday is Spaghetti Day. Your cat was trying to force you out the door because she was having her friends over. I think Saturday may be Fish & Chip's day (which would explain the newspaper). I once caught a clowder of cats in my backyard and I am certain they had just all ran out the back door. The kitchen was a mess.

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

I feel so lucky, to have seen actual pictures of the lovely Dolly Gee. She's as beautiful as you describe her.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Oh I'm feeling better now - I thought I was the only one with uncannily adept pets!!

...though I am concerned that you may one morning forget she is NOT actually a canoe...

Rose L said...

My cat would have eaten the lunch after I left and later on told me that she did not want it to go to waste. What kind of job is she seeking?

Unknown said...

Your cat tales always please me!

Connie said...

I would think that a cat that knows how to sing could easily find a job. :-D

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

Is smoking bad for cats..........lol
Does coffee make the hyper.......just asking