I have long suspected that I was special.
The freckles, of course, were my first clue.
“Angel kisses,” Grandma said, generously.
“Wait’ll they get wet,” Kevin would hiss into my
ear. “If they get wet and you scratch ‘em,
they’ll stink.”
Then there’s my ability to burn myself with a curling
iron, something I do at least three times a year. And of course there’s my uncanny knack insofar
as eyeballing teaspoons and tablespoons without actually owning a set myself.
And yes, whatever I’ve just cooked is supposed to taste that way.
All of this special-ness adds up to one thing: not being surprised when the dental hygienist
mentioned the tora in my mouth.
Not the torah, even if it is Rosh Hashanah, in my
mouth.
The tora.
“The what now?”
“Right here,” she says, running her metallic doohickey
along the roof of my mouth. “The bony
plate.”
“Uh oh-ee eigh?”
“Yep,” she says. “The
bony plate.” She puts the doohickey
away. “That’s why you cut the inside of
your mouth so often on crunchy foods. Am
I right?”
I sit up slightly, nodding. I run my index finger along the roof of my
mouth. There is a ridge of bone running
smack down the middle of it, dividing my palate in two. “You mean not everyone has this?”
“No,” she says. “It’s
not exactly rare, but it’s not common.”
“Other people’s palates are flat?”
“Yep.”
I consider this. “I
have abnormal brain waves, too,” I tell her.
“I don’t doubt it,” she says.
“Plus,” I say, “I can still put my feet in my mouth.”
“That’s gotta come in handy,” she grants, grinning.
I like a dental hygienist with a sense of humor.
I open my mouth wide, try to see the top of my mouth in
the little mirror, but it looks the way it’s always looked.
There’s so much yet
to be discovered.
44 comments:
I don't know where to put this in my head: “I can still put my feet in my mouth.”
I just found out I have Torus Mandibularis. Little bony projections in the bottom of my mouth.
La Chaim.
I'm so disappointed to hear this. As it happens, I'm toraphobic. I can no longer read your blog, and I would have to discriminate against you, given the opportunity
;(
I've always wanted to be in one of those human freak shows. Maybe me with my double jointed fingers and you with your tora...
Ewe av a oh-e-ate!
Am!
once again, very funny. THe post, not the oh-e-ate
They once put a wee little camera up my wahzoo just to have a good looksee around and guess what they found? Jimmy Hoffa! No, not really, I'm kidding...
They found bony protrusions! We have something in common Pearl...kinda.
I have the boney ridge (not to take your specialness away - you're still very special) and I have the boney lumps behind my lower teeth...and none of this has stopped me from being able to put my foot in my mouth either.
However, I do not, nor have I ever had, freckles.
ah, yes, the body: The Undiscovered Country.
I am a self cannibal, too. I blame mine on a botched oral surgeon job with my wish dumb teeph.
learn something new every day...
I confessed this at work yesterday to a favorite co-worker who promptly showed me two rows of bony plates in her lower jaw, right there along her bottom teeth. Nothing you would ever be able to see without being shown, but quite remarkable.
And Camille? Jimmy Hoffa?! :-) LOL!!
“I can still put my feet in my mouth.”
Very good. Oh, so very, very good!
And, thank you for larnin' me something new today. The human body fascinates me. In a medical way.
I do not have that boney ridge on my palate. However, I did often burn that area on the first bite of freshly baked pizza. Is that the same thing? That is, until I got my "uppers" and now I can eat steaming hot pizza without fear.
I always bit my cheek when chewing... I blame that on extra wide molars.
Keep your feet out of your mouth... it's just not sanitary.
Oh, hey! I have freckles too!
But I lack the rest of what the heck you have... thanks to someone.
LOL
I have recently discovered your blog and am glad I have, thanks for a laugh!
http://tinkerbellimnot.blogspot.com/
http://anunfinishedproject.blogspot.com/
How often do you check to see if you can still get your feet in your mouth? I have foot in mouth disease but I have a feeling that's not what you mean.
That's nothing, I've got thumbs that look like big toes! (My big toes are another matter!) :¬)
xxx
I could put my heel in my elbow once. If I'd know back then, I probably could have put my foot in my mouth as well.
There's a lot to be said for thinking you are average and normal!
I don't know what you're on, but I want some.
Oh, good. Had you not gone on to explain I might have thought you had a tiny Pentateuch printed on the roof of your mouth.
Am I not supposed to be able to put my foot in my mouth? I'm so confused...
My hygenist is a talker too.:) B
Yeah, my parents didn't want me chewing my nails, so they made me wear shoes.
It would take a terrible car accident to get my feet up to my mouth.
Oh, buddy. You are a miracle of nature's design, and you may find you have an evolutionary edge in catching live prey that will bear you in good stead in the post-Apocalyptic. Those ratbears won't just hold still while you eat 'em!
I put my feet behind my head instead, people are way more on the "impressed" side than the "grossed out" side of the whoa-index. The other side of the skull makes all the difference.
I have the bony ridge too and thought it was normal. I thought everyone had one. I often bit the inside of my cheek or my tongue when eating.
Brings tears to the eyes that does.
I don't feel a boney ridge. I think my palate is flat. It's the only thing on me that is.
We are in a class of our own with our bony ridges and superior brains.
Hey Pearl! Hmmm. So, is it safe to kiss you? Think it'd be best to check, just to be sure. You're welcome. Indigo x
Hi Pearl, I love your writing style! You made me check out my own mouth too--lol. Thanks for stopping by my blog today! I love to meet other bloggers and writers!
I find that I still put my feet in my mouth on a regular basis.
I was once diagnosed with Tennis Tora. Which probably explains why I'm so bad at tennis.
I would like to contribute to this list of special features, but I don't think the world is ready to hear about it.
The only times I've put a foot in my mouth were completely inadvertent. Goes hand-in-hand with egg on my face, you know.
So Pearl does the tora spare you from sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia*? If so the tora has earned its keep.
I have one spot of tora on my lower jaw. It is like a pimple made of bone.
My special skill is that I can put my head up my butt so I can't hear my wife. Well at least she often tells me to get my head out of my butt and listen.
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice-cream_headache
Had to run to the mirror and check my mouth out...Nope! Don't have it!
LOL
Hey Pearl, thanks so much for stopping over at Live & Learn, I appreicate you taking the time to comment. I, too, have a tora but had no idea it had a name. Learned something new today.
We could have told you that you were special without you having to go through this. I will admitt to jealousy about your flexibiity though - I am a little less flexible than a brick.
We could have told you that you were special without you having to go through this. I will admitt to jealousy about your flexibiity though - I am a little less flexible than a brick.
My husband would have a bony protusion every now and then; sadly, not so much anymore.
“I can still put my feet in my mouth.”
You must save a fortune on toenail clippers.
We always knew you were special... and that you could put your foot in your mouth, that too isn't surprising!
Doesn't everybody have a ridge down the middle there? Oh!
I used to curse my birth mark which is exactly where a tail would be - if I had a tail. Bikinis were tricky but I can honestly count the number of people who have seen it on one hand, Easily.
Self discovery is a life long thing and not always pretty.
Against the better judgement of a couple of my friends, I used to date my dentist. I think I need to do a post or two on all that weirdness.
I was born with my feet in my mouth!
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