Now About That Dirty Mind…

I bought – and then used – a neti pot.

I’ve never felt so clean.

As some of you may know, I’ve been decidedly under the weather for over a month now. I try not to make a fuss, coming from a line of people who believe that “under the weather” is Midwestern code for “trying to get out of something”, but I can take it no longer. I am tired, dizzy, and dangerously close to losing my sense of humor.

Let’s let the medical profession take a crack at it.

In the meantime, I’ve tried this new-fangled “neti pot”. You’ve tried one, I’m sure. As with many things, ie., pedicures, flat irons, this whole “paying your taxes” thing, I suspect I’m at the tail end of this.

The very thought, of course, was not without its ability to produce anxiety. A little teapot-looking thing, you say? A sinus-lavage sort of thing? Who comes up with this stuff?

We have the Indians to thank.

What a concept! To rinse out one’s sinuses! There aren’t enough exclamation points for how wonderful I think this is.

Picture, if you will, the furtive movements of the woman who has actually firmly shut the bathroom door. Right there, you can see how serious I am about it. Frankly, our bathroom door is a bit sticky, so just having the door touch the door jamb is enough – shutting it all the way takes effort best left for, say, doing the dishes or checking your Facebook status. Shutting the door to the point of being able to lock it smacks of exertion, doesn’t it?

No point in overkill.

Warm water. A salt/baking soda/Dr Pepper solution. Head over the sink, tilted a wee bit forward and, as we used to say: voila! Fish and chips.

Should the need arise, we can now eat off my sinuses.

That said, however, there’s still something wrong with my head – and I do mean that in a literal way. Another call in to the doctor and I’ve gotten downright assertive in my demands for a blood test, which is to say, in Minnesota terms, I’ve come out and said, over the phone, “I really must insist that we look into this further. Can we do a blood test?”

And just to show that I shall not be swayed, once I’m in the doctor’s office, I shall repeat myself, pursing my lips and looking stern.

I’ll keep you apprised.