I turn my iPod down and note that he has been rebuffed by his first three attempts at pre-dawn conversation.
“What? Huh? Naw, dog, just on the bus. What’s that? Huh. OK. Yeah, man. I’ll call you when you wake up.”
Click.
Dressed in a poofy M&M jacket, pants belted just under his bottom, it’s clear by looking at him that he’s not gone to bed yet. I am absentmindedly twirling a piece of hair just behind my ear and wondering what it is about the melt-in-your-mouth-not-in-your-hands candy-inspired clothing line that garners such devotion when he returns my look. I meet his eye, look behind me, then look back. ‘Me?’ I mouth, index finger to my chest.
He turns away, disgusted, and I grin.
The fourth call he makes is the charm. I turn my iPod off for ease of eavesdropping.
And I am disappointed.
The entire conversation, which surprisingly goes on for almost 20 minutes, is variations on the following:
- “Naw, man.”
- “Yeah, dog.”
- “Thass what I’M talkin’ about.”
- And “Mumble frappin gargle farbin.”
I shrug and go back to my iPod.
Sometimes, people are just plain boring.
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40 comments:
Humph. Where's the beef?
You tune in for a nice juicy piece of eavesdropping, and then...
nuttin'.
I bet your cats are having a party, right now, as we speak...er...as I type.
You are just at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Oh man, and I was ready for the bus this morning ... see what happen wuz... Morning Pearl
They speak a different language but still have nothing to say of interest . . .
ah the bus...
and the the M&M jacketed dawgs that ride them!
i sometimes call "time" and have spirited conversations while the recorded voice says,
"at the tone, the time will be..."
it really freaks some people out...
The M&M racing boys work just around the corner from me. I aint real wild about their driver but I will eat the candy. I would nevah wear the colors.
I have always been curious about who is really in the mood for chit chat at 6:00 in the morning but there are alot of them cause I see them on the road.
“Mumble frappin gargle farbin.”
I used to know exactly what that meant but then I got old and the brain cells that survived my errant youth no longer work as well as they once did... or I thought they did. The key word is "farbin", of course. But that's all I can tell you.
But thass what ahm talkin' bout.
Last line was an in-depth discussion about the hot mama riding the bus that just mouthed at him in a truly sexy manner causing him to lose his mind in a wild fantasy. Duh!
“Mumble frappin gargle farbin.” hmmmm... I wonder what that would look like in 'text speak?'
That's too funny. That's what annoys me about cell phones. People feel compelled to use them in the strangest circumstances. I've seen people at the grocery store, standing in the pickle aisle, talking on their cell phone:
"Do you want the garlic lovers? Or just the regular ones?"
Seriously?? You have to make a phone call about pickles in the middle of the grocery store? I don't get it.
It would seem to me that the whole world is boring at 6:30 in the morning.
But then I'm not a morning person.
- Jazz
I dated a pant bottom dweller once. He was slumming it with me.
We spoke the International language of Love.
How I miss the days when I'd pick up the phone in the AM and hear, "hey shawty. how you be?"
Ahhhh be still my bleeding heart...
damn, but look it at this way, at 6ish in the morning, you're being entertained! most of the time, i've been working for 3 hrs already! and i have to be nice, too! ok, sometimes i get to yell because people haven't done what they're supposed to, but still...it's not as much fun. btw, M&M candy makes clothes now? *off to google it* xoxoxoxo
I believe the conversation was at least as intelligent as 98.7% of all cell phone conversations; and probably more so than most.
M&M does indeed make clothing. :-)
Yeah, we don't ask too much of the early morning phone calls, but if you're going to talk that loud, could ya throw in some details?!
Oh. And I love "shawty, how you be?" :-)
Don't strangers realize they are supposed to inspire our writing muse with juicy bits? Like the woman I sat next to in Panera Bread last month who spent 5 minutes telling her friend she never eats fish, ever, but she will eat salmon because she doesn't really consider it fish.
March, so far, has been a barren and uninspiring wasteland.
Mark
The youngster may have been answering the following questions:
1. Are you a woman.
2. Do you have any pets.
3. Is there a strange lady on the bus looking at you.
4. Do you speak Klingon.
“Mumble frappin gargle farbin.”
For some reason...that instantly reminded me of that Def Leppard song 'Rock of Ages'.
Just great, Pearl. Now that song will be stuck in my head all day.
=]
You're the only person I know who can describe her morning commute to work on the bus and make it entertaining!
I am often very lucky with the conversations I overhear and then pop on my blog. But there is nothing more frustrating then overhearing a 'mumblesation' such as this one. I hope you have better luck on the next one. But I did enjoy this post very much.
Pearl, there's a rolling-and-rollicking TV sitcom on that bus you ride each morning, I'm notifying the networks...
Thanks for visiting my blog.
I had a traumatic experience on a city bus once. I got thrown off. Not for being disruptive or anything, I just got on the wrong bus and after a while the bus driver said "end of the line" and threw me off. Never rode a city bus since.
You do make me laugh. I didn't know M&Ms make clothes either but I am very familiar with the 'jeans hung so low the belt is actuallly cradling their arse cheeks' look - I don't get it, really I don't Never mind that they have to continually hoike them back up so they don't slide right down their legs, the crotch hangs down looking like they're wearing nappies - seriously, teenage girls find boys dressed like this hawt??!!
"it’s clear by looking at him that he’s not gone to bed yet" ha ha!
I love it. I cant wait to read more!
Pearl, you write every. single. day. How could you possibly be tight for time? *wink*
You are definitely the bright spot in my day, so thank you for that!
They are everywhere! Here in St. Louis, too.
On the plus side at least there was a hint of excitement for a few moments - the Irish equivalent tends to just use one syllable sentences and you can almost lip read it with no skills of lip reading - it's like school passed them by... Or maybe they stayed on the bus from an early age and by-passed the school? Who knows!
omg this was great you alway keep me entertained
Damn, now none of us will ever know and I, for one, am all agog.
Sitting here chuckling because he wouldn't talk to you. Maybe next time you need to start the conversation ;o)
How RUDE! How dare he start a conversation like that and not make it hear-able?
He was a Muppett
He was talking to the Swedish Chef
you do get a lot of material from buses. I might start getting on one.
Loved the mouthed "me?" with finger pointing toward the chest.
A timeless, classic move.
LOL_- I'm soo not a morning person! I think I was his second call!
LOVE-- that you listened!!!
J
I'm wondering if there really was someone he was talking to. I bet he was talking to himself.
stop shnizzling my nizzle - or whatever!
s'mon luggin t'me, dawg.
S'm o'lady widda pods on, bro.
Frig'n freagy, ryyye!
Is it ok if I just laugh at your posts?
The best conversations are the ones you eavesdrop on but all I usually get is
"so I turned round and said, what do you mean". There's an awful lot of turning-round-and-saying in the average overheard chat over here.
An M & M coat. Do you mean like Marshall Mathers (sp?) or M & M candy. I'm picturing either a wrapper or a giant green M & M and both images would probably blind me that early in the morning. : )
Oh, Pearl, you manage to bring out the funny even in the most boring and illiterate of souls.
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