I was out driving the other day. In a car.
Cars are so much different than buses, aren’t they? They’re smaller, for one thing. I noticed that right off. And then there’s all that “paying attention” to do.
And it was while I was “paying attention” that I saw something that I’d seen thousands of times before; but this time, I saw it with new eyes.
OK. Not really new eyes. They were my old eyes.
Let’s not get into semantics.
There was a sign on the side of the road, one of those signs with the little light bulbs in it so that you can see it at night.
“Yield Ahead.”
Good advice. There’s a certain amount of yielding that we all must do.
And that got me thinking: Those signs should be in more places.
“Stop eating now.”
“You would do best to keep your mouth shut.”
“You are wearing patterned underwear with white pants. Bad look.”
But no. We don’t have signs like that. Sure, I’m a taxpayer; but apparently we’re on our own here.
Who do you suppose I could talk to to get one of those lighted signs in my house? I never turn down free advice.
About Bob Dylan
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18 comments:
I would suggest a sign that says, "Check your rear in the mirror, before you leave the house".. It might save countless lives the aggravation of discovering their skirt was caught in their panty hose, there was a hole in the seam of their pants seat , etc.
Also .... I think it isn't just with driving vs bus riding.
I ride a lot of taxis and when I walk, I am always surprised by shops and places that I have passed so many times in a car .
Apparently, riding in a taxi here does cause you to go blind or at least squeeze your eyes shut to avoid seeing the oncoming collision.. so walking is a wonderful way to actually See where you are.
Or a warning light on your phone,
'do you really want to send this text message, 'cos y'all know y'all is drunk yeah?'
I could really do with one of those! :¬)
xxx
Jeez Pearl,
I do just happen to be wearing patterned underwear with my white pants. Okay, they're shorts, but still. I didn't think it'd show all the way over in Minnesota, what're you, psychic? All I'm doing is working in my yard you know? And Irene's been off FOR TWO WEEKS. Its amazing I have any clean underwear at all, or even shorts for that matter. Soon I'll need a sign on my front door that says not to go outside naked. I'll need it to be lit up, too, as evening is bound to roll around.
Garage sales with teenagers sometimes have those signs or what about a place like Spencer's? I used to have street signs in one of my kids bedrooms. . .They had been there for years along with the girly pics before I noticed them. Then it was: TAKE THAT CRAP OFF THE WALLS!!! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT SIGN??? AND THAT ONE???
I thought the law was gonna come get him and me!
I don't own any white pants just for that reason. Smart huh? One sign would be helpful is to flash "thank you" at the rear window after you cut someone off on the road. Or a different message to the jerk behind you...
You can even make a story about This interesting!!!!
“You are wearing patterned underwear with white pants. Bad look.”
That would depend greatly upon the type and style of pattern, I think. It is one reason I once did not mind visiting the dentist's office (dental assistants wore white, almost see through uniforms with often interesting undergarments).
By the way, those "lights" are not actually lights, just glass beads (or something like that) to reflect the light of one's headlights.
Most of us, in my youth, owned official stop signs because we also owned adjustable wrenches and had a lot of time on our hands.
How about one that says, "Do not, under any circumstances, move any closer to me." I'd like that one sometimes. Maybe there's an app for that on the droid phones where you can just pull it out of your purse, and get any sign you want so you can hold it up for anyone near you to see.
I want one that says 'Here lives a grumpy old witch woman'. Then I could scare local kids from playing football in my drive.
Wives are better than signs, though. My first wife, back in the '80s was really good at telling me when I was wearing printed underwear with white pants. Of course, no guy who isn't a television preacher wears white pants anymore, but I'll always love my first wife for that little service she provided back in those days. I was teaching English Comp back then. It was to tremendously helpful.
I could use a few signs myself (or I like the app idea someone else proposed too)- like "get away from me", "don't talk to me" "where did you get your license? A cracker jack box?" Course then I'd probably need a sign to remind me to not be so quick to use the signs....
I saw a sign that said, "Slow Men Working" and thought.... "Now, that's truth in advertising!"
Not exactly sure why they still put up signs at all. No one seems to heed them.
I like your writing style, and I likee your comment on Cal's blog about the nose hair dude. Thus, I am a new follower.
Cheers!
xoRobyn
Sending you some blog love in the form of an award. Come get it!
http://bombshellblissnow.blogspot.com/2010/07/how-is-this-for-weird.html
Jeanette
Oh Pearl, where have you been? Dick Smith/Tandy sell a strip sign that can be sat on a window ledge or in your cars back window to let passers by know your thoughts. Best of all you can change the words in seconds so you can give your fellow motorists good advice as you drive. Cool huh!
Sadly, I actually DO have a cardboard stop sign on my door, reminding everyone to lock it. And we have them at the school where I teach to remind kids to walk in the hall...
But I'm thinking there should be special signs SOMEWHERE that say, "Totally Free Zone: Do whatever the heck you want."
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