You Should Always Check Your Backseat

I found a quarter and four pennies on my way to the bus stop this morning. Would you believe I picked up all five coins?

You would?

Yeah, there are a lot of people who would’ve left those pennies. I’m fully aware of that, thank you. The thing is, those people would have only 25 cents, whereas I now have 29 cents.

It’s not much in the short term, but talk to me in a couple years.

I’ll be rich. Rich, I tell you!

Speaking of the walk to the bus stop, followed by the inevitable bus ride, what does my iPod have to say about the weekend?

To quickly recap the last, oh, almost three years, I’ve gotten it into my thick-haired and bespectacled head that the songs played on my Friday morning’s commute have something to do with what will happen during my weekend.

Don’t spoil it for me, now! Be a sport and play along!

Electric Feel by MGMT
Mongoloid by Devo
I Just Want to Celebrate by Rare Earth
I Would Never Wanna be Young Again by Gogol Bordello
Hem of Your Garment by Cake
Tell Me in the Morning by Cold War Kids
Der Kommisar by After The Fire

To me it looks like it’s all the things I normally think.

Plus a margarita. I feel there’s a margarita hidden in there somewhere.

So! Maybe a light story before we all hit the weekend?

When we were all much younger, my father, the King of Clean and Semi-Lame Jokes, had a hard time expressing affection verbally; so rather than tell you how he felt, he would feed you.

Food is love, yes?

Consider the family dinners in your past: Thanksgivings loaded with pies and gravies and those little home-made mints; Easters with hams and asparagus; late-night silliness with Redi-Whip and pickled pork hocks.

I moved out of my parents’ house less than a month after high school graduation, whereupon I graduated to previously unconsidered poverty.

Who moves out with a mattress, a full-length mirror, and a towel? Well, me, for one. Not that it felt that way at first! But within a couple of years, and after the birth of my boy, the need for groceries on a regular basis became apparent.

What? Ask for help? What are you, nuts?

Tuesdays and Thursdays were meatless days, and I had a vegetable garden – The Boy learned early to pick green beans, to eat tomatoes warm while still standing next to the plants, to eat peas whole and in the pod. Still, there was never enough food.

My father caught on to the fact that there could be more in the fridge at my house. Perhaps because my head was always in theirs whenever I dropped in.

It’s just a hunch.

And so it came to be that I started to “find” things in my car following these visits.

The first time, I found a twenty crammed into the crease of the passenger seat.

After that, there were mysterious grocery bags in my backseat. Potatoes, onions, jars of marinated artichoke hearts, sticks of pepperoni, and other various and sundry items appeared without comment.

I suspected my father; and it was proven when I found in a grocery bag in the backseat – mid-July, mind you! – a stick of butter atop a roll of toilet paper.

There’s nothing really to say about that, but I did have the softest bottom for a while…

This went on for almost two years. We have never discussed this, although I did once leave a note taped to his windshield.

“I discover the weirdest things in my car.”

Some things are easy to find.

Twenty-nine cents in the street springs to mind.

And some things are found only upon reflection.

Thanks, Dad.