I've been included in a Minnesota anthology "Under Purple Skies", now available on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Friday, November 27, 2009

It Was When the Tornado Touched Down that I Discovered the Licorice Cache in the Alley

I’d checked several times, Wednesday, in the mirror. Surely there was a railroad spike in my forehead, an ice pick in my right temple?

No. There wasn’t.

What started as a headache, a sore throat, and sneezing fits lasting longer than my commitment to stop watching crap TV, has turned into a downright crippling situation.

I have been diagnosed with the R2D2.

My temperature spiked to 102.7 Wednesday night. I had dreams where I was tripping old ladies on the bus, where I was sucked up into tornadoes, where there was a small and strikingly ugly baker living in my fridge who made the most amazing little desserts – I just had to answer some questions before he would give me one…

I woke up trying to remember the questions.

Seriously. Those little cakes looked wonderful; and even now, hours after having woken up, I’m wondering about the questions. I know that I could answer them if I could just remember what they are…

I’m on Tamiflu, acetaminophen, and bed rest.

The H1N1 influenza hurts.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is today’s post.

I’m going to resume my position, under most of the blankets we own, on the couch now.

Hugs and Kisses, Pearl


** For those wondering about the logistics here, I wrote Wednesday’s and Thursday’s posts on Tuesday so as to have time to concentrate on Thursday’s Thanksgiving prep/dinner/celebration, which was canceled Wednesday night and held, instead, at my Mom and Dad's place. Good job, Mom and Dad!

23 comments:

Susan said...

So sorry you're sick on Thanksgiving. Kudos to your mom and dad. Parents can be great, yes?

mapstew said...

Hugs n' kisses!
(Well maybe not kisses, we don't want to go spreading that shit now do we?, So just the hugs. But I dunno, can you catch it from hugs? Look, just stay under the blankies for a while, and keep takin' the meds ok?)

I await your healthy return. :¬)

xxx

ellen abbott said...

Hope you are on the mend soon.

Ms Sparrow said...

Wow, sorry to hear you're down with that awful flu! Hope Willie is taking good care of you and Liza Bean isn't pulling any pranks while you recuperate.
Take care.

http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com said...

Feel better soon!

Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandma said...
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Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandma said...

Oh, Pearl, even when you feel terrible you keep us informed, make jokes, and post promptly at your usual hour. Sorry you have to waste a perfectly good long weekend on R2D2. Feel better soon.

Pat said...

I'm so sorry to hear you're sick...and on a holiday weekend, too! I echo Blissed-Out Grandma in praise of the continuing hilarity emanating from your fertile mind despite the assault of H1N1. Rest well and drink lots of those good fluids.

I won't be commenting most of December due to being in a secret location without internet access. The secret will be revealed later.

So...Merry Christmas early!

Jayne Martin said...

Even when you're sick you still manage to be entertaining. I hope you have someone to bring you Popsicles and soup.

Feel better soon.

Guillermo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Pop and Ice said...

So sorry you're sick during the holidays. I spent one Christmas, an entire week, suffering from the flu. I never neglected getting my flu shot again! Hope you are feeling better soon!

Douglas said...

Get well, be well, stay well.

Brian Miller said...

yikes! hope you feel better!

Barlinnie said...

You can always tell when you have the swine flu. Your skin develops a nasty rasher.

Yeah yeah.... I know.

Aunt Juicebox said...

I've been sick all week, and had to travel, etc. But I don't think it's H1N1 at least. Get better soon!

Anonymous said...

Holy Sea Cows Pearl....you've got the Piggy Sickness!

*runs in circles screaming*

Hope you feel better soon. Liza should make you some Tea with Honey....and Dolly can sing you a lullabye. I'll call Liza's cell...

xoxoxo

Kevin Musgrove said...

Ooh, bad luck there, Pearl. Have a virtual hug and plenty of cranberry juice.

Ann Imig said...

My kids had it, but I haven't. Anna Lefler has it. Sounds just awful.

Get well soon, dear Pearl!

Tempo said...

I had it about four months ago and still getting over it Pearl. It seems to leave you vulnerable to every cold and infection going around. I hope you come good soon.

Unknown said...

Oh Honey, get well soon! Kick that little piggy in the behind...and seeing that little chef? Seems like you were suffering from a mutated form of Keebler's Dementia :)

Peace ~ Rene

People Who Know Me Would Say: said...

Feel better soon, Pearl!

Madame DeFarge said...

Get well soon and hope you perk up soon.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

102.7 should be a radio station. Not your temperature. Have someone make some soup and read you a story. That's the remedy for pretty much everything.