Snorting Bleach and Grunting with Vigor, or Mary and Pearl Make an Honest Living

Good God am I tired.

Let me tell you about cleaning houses, people. The truth is this: no matter the size of the place, empty or occupied, house or an apartment, cleaning a domicile is no small matter.

Ask Mary or me. We’ll tell you, and in colorful language, that cleaning a place is a serious endeavor, one best met with rubber gloves and copious amounts of bleach and wood soap.

And Comet.

I love Comet. It’s abrasive, takes out stains you’d never think would come out, and leaves behind a clean scent.

Go Comet!

The job might’ve seemed shorter, of course, if we hadn’t taken a wrong turn getting there. Mapquest said it was 4.1 miles from my house. I think we logged 20 getting there.

I blame Mary, of course. She makes me laugh, which in turn leads to a sort of muscle spasticity, which for some reason causes me to make unpredictable right-hand turns… Let’s not point fingers – unless they’re pointed at Mary, of course – regarding who took us miles and miles out of our way.

Let’s just say that it was Mary.

At any rate, we ended up well past the Loring Park neighborhood we needed and onto 35W South, which lead to 35W North, which lead to a detour which took us past some very nice houses and down around Lake Calhoun.

All of this is from memory only and should not be used for the purposes of gambling.

Where was I?

Oh, yes. We worked. We started late, stayed late, and somewhere in there, my skin took on a bleach aroma and I developed a couple more laugh lines.

It was totally worth it.

Ladies and gentlemen, when given the opportunity to work hard, laugh hard, and make cash?

I recommend you take it.