Blurry in the Middle and Wiggly at Both Ends

The windshield wipers no longer lie flat, apparently. I discovered it, as one would, during a recent rainstorm.

In the same way that whatever you’re looking for is always described as being in the last place you looked for it – because once you’ve found it, of course, why would you continue to look? – you’re not going to notice the windshield wipers don’t work properly until you try to use them in the rain.

The smear of rain/tree sap on the windshield, naturally, was where it does the most damage – directly in my line of sight – with an odd collection of leaf bits and bug parts on the outside edges, which added a lovely framing aspect.

The world was blurry in the middle and wiggly at both ends.

“Blurry in the middle and wiggly at both ends” also periodically describes my television picture since the HDTV revolution. Because of this, I suspect there are things going on to the far left and far right of the TV screen, but I’ve no way of knowing what. Luckily, given both the shows available and the shows I’ve caught myself watching (I can only assume a chip has been placed under my skin by aliens and is influencing my taste in entertainment – could I possibly be as tacky as some of the shows I watch?) I doubt it affects the storyline much.

“Blurry in the middle and wiggly on the ends” can now also, unfortunately, be used to describe my eyesight. Always astigmated, newly introduced to the world of “floaters”, I am now one of the people examining things closely by peering over her glasses.

Have you tried bifocals – excuse me – “graduated lenses”? The bottom of the lens is for close work, the top for far away.

I’ve always wondered about that, why people look over their glasses rather than through them. “What an unattractive look”, I used to think.

“That person has her reasons,” I now think.

It’s the story of my life, this variable blurriness followed by clarity.

Seems the lack of focus is only noticeable once you realize it could be better.