Your Good-Looking Face

I suppose you’ve heard of Facebook. So many people have. And you, you’re not the type to be easily confused by the new technologies, are you? You’re not the type to beg computer-time from your friends.

You’ve got your life together, don’t you? You know where your warranties are. You always have oregano on hand. You have never worn a swimsuit bottom in lieu of underwear.

Remind me again of how we met.

Lucky me, Facebook is an all new way I’ve found to fall behind. Because there weren’t enough ways already. It is now possible for me to have unread e-mail at all times.

Now that’s progress!

Every moment I’m awake – and many moments when I am not – it seems there are new ways for us to keep in touch without having actually met. I am aware of people who are never alone, technically speaking, while never being in the company of others.

At what other time in history has that been possible?

Now that I’m feeling all confessional, I must admit that I tried Twitter. I twitted five times in eight months and it went the way of all of the other things I thought I’d enjoy doing: home trepanning, beekeeping, do-it-yourself dentistry.

Actually, I don’t really mind Facebook, but you know what I’d really like? A knock at the door. Because there’s beer in the fridge, and Facebook just ain’t the same as a real face.