Do you have a minute?
Would you mind if I described the current condition of my lungs to you?
Since the dawn of time, I’ve had issues with breathing. Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for it and have rarely come down on the side of not breathing – but I have what my father refers to as “weak lungs”.
Which is pretty funny, when you consider that I marched with a Sousaphone in high school, that I used to run long distance, that I tend to choose Motorhead songs for karaoke…
I have a touch of asthma, a propensity for bronchitis, and have endured bouts of costochondritis, which is either an inflammation of the cartilage of the rib cage or an inflammation off the coast of some lovely South American island, I don’t remember which.
Either way, I got rid of it with an antibiotic.
And now today, what started as a touch of anxiety around manipulating a rather large and unwieldy amount of data has turned into a shallow-breathing nightmare.
And yes, should you all be forced to choose who lives and who dies in some end-of-the-world blogging scenario, I am fully aware that I would be kicked out of the lifeboat first, me and my weak lungs. I can’t figure out how to open a can without a can opener, I don’t carry a knife, I speak only one language (and that, poorly) and now today, I can’t even draw a full breath.
Of course, I’m carrying around a couple extra pounds, so if the tribe decides to eat me (anyone here seen/read “Alive”?), I’m okay with that.
I’m willing to bet most of me will fry up nicely; but as I’ve already alluded, I’m not sure I can recommend the lungs.
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41 comments:
Pearl you would be a keeper..because I am sure you could entertain everybody in the life boat and they would forget their troubles.
I am sorry to hear about your lungs big soft {hug} don't want to squeeze what lil ya go left in there out ;-)
that would be got left...fast fingers here don't quite make the key board :-)
just trying to stay ahead of EB ya know...he's sneaky!
Darsden, keeping ahead of EB is a full-time job!
Pearl, although I don't commment often, I watch avidly for your posts. You are a Keeper!
Thank you, Charlotte Ann! That's nice to hear!
Couldn't vote you off, Pearl. You'd be the one making the hilariously disgusting comments while we were enjoying our Essential Bastard burgers.
Note: I was going to say "fileting E.B." but I'm wary of the play on words he would make with that.
Oh Pearl...I think you're a fighter. Don't let those "meat" (I saw Alive) crazed canibals get their hands on you.
You are way too amusing to throw you off the boat.
Love how all these people say youre a keeper and they wouldn't off you. Less of you I'll have to share when it's time to eat!
Hallie
I have the weak lungs, too. I think it has something to do with all the second hand smoke I inhaled between years 0 and 12.
Ooo - I saw the movie Alive.
Creepy.
you know you're just grossing us out so we could NEVER think of eating you now?!!
Pearl,
As a lifetime member of the Carnivore Club I acknowledge my allegiance to the tribe but I have no hesitancy in saying, "you'd be safe in my life boat".
Just make sure you bring along some chocolate!
U
I disagree.....I think your lungs are a fine/fun size !
Pearl -
I have seen 'Alive' and 'Silence of the Lambs' but that's about it for movies with a carnivorous slant.
But we have a long way to the summit - so buck it up.
Oh yeah - high altitude means thin air. . . weak lungs. . .anyone have any A-1?
You are safe in my boat, I'd rather laugh than eat.
And besides,I've got practically super-human lungs(that I don't deserve) so I will do the breathing, you will do the jesting.
To each their own strength.
Ahhh, don't kid yourself lady, you'd win cause you'd have everyone in stitches and they wouldn't suspect your Machiavellian actions... Buhwahahaha!!! ( I say that with all due love and respect, btw...)
Pearl
If you get in to that kind of situation chances are...what you said could very well happen to you.
Your only chance would be...what if the tribe is full of vegetarians.
But who said that tribe people just eat their catch. I am sure that they will have some interesting ideas.....
;)
Are you kidding me Pearl, I'd be first off of the lifeboat, island...whatever. You'd be next though. :)
Maybe you have a data allergy.
You're datasthmatic.
Throw that around in conversation with complete arrogance and you'll make some folks believers.
When pigs fly...
Yeah, well, swine flu ( flew ). :)
Peace - Rene
Sousaphone??? There is really such a thing as a Sousaphone???
Pearly-Q I think it is me who should be worried about you!!!
Whats up? Are you still smoking? I hope that answer is a negative!! I will leave you alone on that.
You need to take care of yourself girlie. Open up your lung capacity!! RUN a bit maybe? Deep breathing!!??
I am gathering together a vegetarian tribe so no worries there OK?
YOU ARE SAFE!!!
I also marched with a Sousaphone in a very misguided attempt to make time with the ladies.
Gustavo Zerbino: And what about our innocence? What's gonna become of our innocence if we survive as cannibals?
Well Pearl, you damned near drown as a child!
You're so talented, we wouldn't eat you all at once you know.
I feel your pain..I got diagnosed with pneumonia this week. I have hacked up one lung already, so if you would like it, be my guest.
And, what the hell is "weak lungs" anyway???
Anyway, I hope you get better soon too!!
Stay away from the swine flu bus people...it will be the death of you! (and me too, come to think of it!) Shit. We are "compromised"....
The Retirement Chronicles
Pearl...
Do what I do...
When my lungs are refusing to work...just take them out and throw them in the dryer...make sure to use a dryer sheet so they smell nice and fresh when they come out.
It works every time.
:)
Lung talk is normal for me these days :) Jahnu's pierced lungs and breathing problems ruled for a while :))) But FRY UPS??? Hell girl...:))
xxx
NO WAIT :))) I'M BRAJA...on Jahnu's computer, forgot to change the ID...duh ;))
xxx
I don't have a lung problem per se, but I have a shortness of breath problem due to the fact I have an enormous amount of pressure resting against my lungs. It sucks.
I think it's pretty much unanimous, you're not going anywhere.
Due to time constraints I'm ignoring all else save your title, and in response to thus quip "That you are, Pearlie one; that you are..."
OK I can no longer constrain...
Rene, Swine flu or no, I'd off a small .. well.. galaxy.. could I but have one chance to deeply french-kiss that maw o' your'n...
So much for the lungs ! So much for the lungs !
:)
So would you believe I was not feeling up to writing last night?
I appreciate you guys keeping me on the lifeboat. I promise to carry small board games and bait in the future, just in case..
Pearl
p.s. What's wrong with you people?! The Sousaphone is HOT! :-D
Awww, I wouldn't let them toss you over...unless you started horking up green stuff. Then, we'd have to talk.
And, I think I'd be the first to go, to tell you the truth...my entire body is failing me, baby.
Pearl I hope you feel better!!
But I have just one question..did any body see you playing that Sousaphone
(that doesn't even look like a real word)
I mean with you beihng so small and all! I am lil bit impressed!
Don't worry if I was in the life boat there would be a buffet for everybody for days ;-)
maybe we'll just go for the liver first. that's where all the nutrients are ... i think.
wow! blogging is weird! i just left you a comment about which of your organs i'd like to snack on and we are practically strangers. well, that's blogging for you.
Pearl - I hope you get this, mostly because this is a day old post and I'm not sure when you stop checking your comments. But you NEED to check this out!!! Actually - everyone who has a lung should check this out! Get your check book ready!!!
http://www.alsearsmd.com/pace19/
This is why I love you: I always make jokes about people eating me first, if the plane goes down. I extend blanket permission for that, should it ever come up.
Want to come on a plane trip with me?
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