Rolls of Fat and Other Things to Consider

I was sitting at my desk the other day, casually taking inventory of my faults in preparation for the new year (inclined to eat large amounts of chocolate in one sitting without regard to caloric intake; development of new roll around mid-section – perhaps related to uncontrolled chocolate fetish; failure to take up boxing like I had planned; failure to win the lottery; failure to develop long, elegant legs like I’ve always wanted…) when I noticed that I can be hard on myself.

When did this start?

It wasn’t always that way. Me and myself, we used to be pretty tight (please note use of only partially out-dated slang!). I liked me, thought I was funny, thought I had a nice head of hair, knew I could rely on me for those weird Trivia Pursuit-style questions.

But in the last year, I’ve started to question me, my taste in things, people. You know how that goes, right? One minute you’re absolutely sure of who your people are and how you feel about things, and the next minute you’re saying things like “But I’ve always spelled it that way! Are you telling me I’ve been spelling that wrong for all these years?!”

Yes, it’s possible that you’ve/I’ve been spelling it wrong. All these years.

I’ve decided that that’s okay, that there’s still plenty of time to turn this all around.

I don’t normally make New Year’s Resolutions, but I ain’t never had a year like last year, either, so why not just continue on this path of self-discovery? Join me, won’t you, in my quest to figure out the answer to that age-old question:

Where You At?

1. My physical health: As adorable as a little pudge can be, I think my usefulness to the tribe will continue for a while longer before they put me out on an ice floe. No point in storing up just yet.
2. My mental health: Yep. Still there, thanks to dear friends (both on and off line) and yoga. I shall continue to pursue both mental and physical flexibility, which brings me to…
3. Drinking. I shall continue to do that as well, but will try to cut down on the number of people I demand to arm wrestle once properly soused.
4. Writing. Yes. Continue.
5. As a side-note to the writing and in deference to paying more attention to my physical health, I shall endeavor to no longer continue to write once I realize I should run to the bathroom. I know I’m not alone out there! Show of hands: how many people continue to work on the computer well after having been informed by their body that they need a break?!

Anyway, that’s my plan for the year. I’m going to be way nicer to me.

What about you? Are you going to be way nicer to me, too?