You Fly, I’ll Buy

As a former PDG (Pizza Delivery Gal) and current patron of many fine and not-so-fine food-delivering establishments, can I just point out what a great idea other people cooking is? Whether it’s to my front door or to the table, if it’s brought to me ready to eat, I'm a fan: I didn’t cook it, I won’t be doing the dishes later, and I may even throw my napkin on the floor.

Well, no. I won’t throw my napkin on the floor.

I'm especially fond of delivery. Love delivery. And I’m not talking only about pizza, the Old Reliable of the I’m-Too-Tired/Busy/Hungry-to-Cook set. I’m talking about pizza, Chinese food, liquor, movies – anything that they bring to the door. Big, big time-saver/enabler for the ill-equipped amongst us.

We tip, heavily, at my house. Acquainted in the most intimate of ways with the food service industry in both my former and current work life, I can only say that it is in your best interest to tip your servers. This includes the driver. I’m not saying that people will spit in your food if you don’t, but – oh, wait. Yes. Actually, that is what I’m saying. Disgusting? Yes. Immoral? Probably. Commonplace? You'd be surprised. And no, I’ve never done that. Seriously. But I’ve seen it done – once. The customer was a complete creep and in many ways had something coming to him, but I’m not sure that his server hoicking in his food was it…

I haven’t been quite the same since witnessing that.

And speaking of tipping, why have I been tipping the guy that walks my coffee the four feet between the coffee maker and the counter at Starbucks? I love their coffee and probably pick up a cup two or three times a week; but can someone explain that tip jar to me? I mean, I do it – I tip them, so help me God – peer pressure strikes again!– but why am I tipping them? Is it to make sure that they don’t spit in my coffee in those four feet?

Anyway! Today’s thought? I’ve managed two – almost three! – of them:
1.) Food delivery: Yes. Good;
2.) What am I tipping for, and why? To have food brought to my door? Worthy. To have food brought to me without un-ordered body fluids? I’m not as excited about this one, but sure, seems like a wise investment. (And for those of you who have not delivered pizza/other foods, the drivers do remember your address and whether or not your address tips!) and;
3.) Tipping to have my coffee moved from there to here? I’m still working that one out.

Now if they would bring my coffee – and maybe one of those banana/chocolate chip muffins – to the bus stop, I’m willing to tip for that.