Why Would You Pay To Look Like That?

I’m asking this with all due respect, but if the actresses and actors in Hollywood keep Botoxing, nipping, tucking, and generally paying good money to morph into aliens, who’s going to play old people?

It’s freaky; and while I fully understand the desire to remain as attractive as possible for as long as possible, who told these people that the inability to frown or having lips that look like rain-swollen night crawlers is attractive?

Once upon a time, a long time ago, if you were beautiful, you were beautiful. And as you aged, your skin began to feel the pull of gravity. Your eyelids, your chin, your cheeks began to fall. It was a natural thing, and men and women the world over exercised and moisturized and were thankful for the beauty of their youth and tried not to be bitter about the loss of it. And the next generation came along and had their time of easy physical beauty.

But with the advancement of medical techniques and plenty of money, the beautiful of yesteryear are refusing to relinquish their roles as debutantes and dewy-eyed young love interests. They’re going to have surgery, because surely in their 30s or 40s some surgery can make them look 20 again?

I’m thinking if this keeps up, someday we’ll have to import actors and actresses to play the Elderly Man 1 in the movies.

Where are the Walter Mathaus, the Judith Denches, the Jessica Tandys of the future? Who will play the crotchety old men, the wise crones, the soothing experienced hands of patient love?

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t think we should all aim for “Golden Girl”-style aging, or, heaven forbid, clothing choices, but the disturbing trend I’ve noticed lately? Remove the make-up from an older, already surgically altered actress and voila! You have an old person! Apparently older women don’t wear make-up. She can’t raise a quizzical eyebrow, she has no laugh lines, but this taut-faced woman is playing the role of grandmother. Great.

So! Career option for the elderly: acting! That’s right – age like a regular person and achieve what Hollywood cannot: the humble beauty of reality.

I’m going to start practicing saying “Where’s the beef?” now.