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Thursday, February 12, 2015

It's Perfectly Normal; or Dolly Gee Is Going Through a Phase

Some houses contain stacks of books.

In some houses, you find mounds of cat toys.  Tidy piles of receipts.  Dozens of empty Fresca cans in the recycling.

And in some houses, there are ear plugs on the floor.

Dolly Gee Squeakers, formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers, trots excitedly from one end of the living room to the other, a pink and green ear plug in her mouth.  She drops it, upon reaching the far end of the room and, with a tiny guttural exclamation of joy, bats it in ever-increasing displays of ferocity.

Dolly Gee Squeakers, aka Dali Gee, aka No Kitty, No!, has discovered pride in ownership.

They are, of course, not her ear plugs to own, but mine. 

In an effort to romance the sleep back into my life, I take a sleep-aid.  I take warm baths, get read two bed-time stories, and I wear ear plugs.

There.  I said it:  I wear ear plugs.

And I don’t really get two bed-time stories. 

But I do wear ear plugs, because when you live in a duplex in the city, a gal could wake up several times a night shouting, What?!  I never! and various other nonsense answers to the city’s nonsense questions.

The discovery of these little rubber life savers has turned Dolly’s world on its fuzzy, slightly dimwitted head.

“Mrrrow?”  Fixed somewhere between the shape of a pampered badger and a speed bump, the cat skitters by, her bright blue and slightly crossed eyes blazing with the pride of ownership.

The cat drops the ear plug at Willie’s feet.  He bends over, picks it up.  “This doesn’t seem right to me,” Willie says, side-arming Dolly’s latest craze into the other room.

The long-haired Siamese mix lets out a cry, somewhere between desire and heartache, and dashes across the room, only to drop the ear plug at Willie’s feet.

“At least she’s through with her reggae phase,” I say.  “That was driving me crazy.”

Willie looks at me, shakes his head, throws the ear plug again.


vanilla said...

What keeps me awake are the noises in my head. I have found no "earplugs" that will stifle that. Go, Dali! Fetch.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
The cat fetches... or the cat is fetching. She is, after all, a very fetching feline... YAM xx

Geezers said...

Hmmm. Your writing is so good, I'm going to try and ignore the pronounced deficit of your being a cat person.

Shoshanah Lee Marohn said...

I love your writing, too! I have subscribed. :)

Anonymous said...

Good ole Willie....a cat can count on him.

sage said...

Our dog has taken to chewing on ear plugs, pulling the little things off the headset and then deciding they aren't soon good and leaving them on the floor so we have to leave the headsets higher (as he does not climb on furniture like a cat

jenny_o said...

Well, that's disturbing. About the reggae driving you crazy, I mean. What's not to like about reggae?

Cats and earplugs, though - a match made in heaven. Think about it. Roughly the heft of a mouse. WITH a tail. Yep.

Shelly said...

Poor Dolly. Can't find anyone to properly appreciate those intriguing little ear plugs with her.

Merlesworld said...

I am blessed not much keeps me awake, I live on a busy road and the swisk of the traffic puts me to sleep.

Joanne Noragon said...

It's the thrill of the chase. Oh, yes, and the satisfaction of the capture. And, of course, displaying the catch. She's an all round fe-line.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe, after all this time, I'm just getting it. Dolly Gee. As in Dolly Gee, what took you so long?? Carry on.

Watson said...

Come visit Watson, Dolly, we have ear plugs! A friend of mine told me today that she buys crickets for her cat. Saves all that "throwing" thing. Poor crickets.

Geo. said...

My imagination seldom fails me, but I can't imagine an earplug that would fit a cat. Doesn't exist. Therefore, cats will never take earplugs seriously.

River said...

Angel chases little rolled up strips of velcro, but never brings them back to me. I have to fetch them myself while he sits and waits for the next throw. Dolly Gee sure is smart!

NotesFromAbroad said...

I had to stop reading at the description of Dolly Gee ... between the shape of a badger and a speed bump just did me in.

Minette is still in the whatever mom listens to stage. As long as it does not interfere with her stalking of small birds on the dining room porch.

Daisy said...

Playing fetch with the cat--haha! Oh well, I guess there's worse ways to spend time. :)