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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Part One: Awoken by a Cat; or I Hope My Insurance Doesn't Hear about This

I’m pretty sure I’ve closed my eyes for just a moment.

“Pearl.  Psssst.”

Huh?  What?  I jerk awake.

The cat is sitting on my chest.

Liza Bean Bitey, of the Minneapolis Biteys, symmetrically striped stealer of dreams and small-pawed liberator of earrings, pens, and unattended cash cards peers down at me.  Her eyes narrowed to gleaming slits, she looks as if she’s suppressing a smile.

I move my own eyes to the left, to the right.  The TV is on, murmuring something indistinct about what we may expect in the way of side effects.

I stare up at the cat.

“What,” I say.

“You were snoring.”

I shift slightly, and the cat hangs on to her dignity – and her position as chest-sitter – by extending her claws.

“Why,” she says, “don’t you go to bed?”

“Huh?”  I pull my glasses off, rub the bridge of my nose.  “What time is it?”

The cat raises her left paw, checks the inside of her wrist.  “2:30.”

I sit up, knocking the cat backwards. “What are you talking about,” I say.  I feel, somehow, defensive.  “It can’t be 2:30,” I say.  “I have to work tomorrow.”

The cat jumps to the coffee table.  “What nonsense you talk,” she says dismissively.  “It certainly can be 2:30.”  Liza Bean yawns delicately.

I catch a whiff of something – and wake up just that much more.  “Let me smell your breath,” I say.

The cat covers her mouth with a tiny, larcenous paw, stifles a small smile.  “You have some strange habits, Pearl.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.”

I frown at her, consciously reach up to smooth my brow.

The lousy cat is giving me wrinkles.

“I’m serious,” I say. 

“Oh,” the cat says, laughing.  “I’m sure you are.”

I lean forward, but she is too quick.  Dancing backwards, she evades my grasp.

“Did you take my car again?  You did, didn’t you?!”

Just a week ago, the cat had taken my car, returned it with a full tank of gas – and a half-eaten bucket of bait in the back seat.  At the time, it hadn’t seemed all that important.  I mean, a kitty’s got to eat, am I right?

And a tank of gas – well, you’ve seen the price at the pump.

Still…

“Liza Bean,” I say.  “Did you take my car again?”

The cat smiles, leaps up to the top perch of “cat condo” in the corner of the room. 

“I didn’t,” she said, “but we did.”

I reach back into my sleep-webbed mind.  “Juan Diego…”

Liza Bean Bitey, of the Minneapolis Biteys, nods.  “Juan Diego de la Patas Oro,” she says.

And with that, the cat curls up and closes her eyes.




23 comments:

Shelly said...

Oh, this is gonna be good!

Pearl said...

Shelly, I hope so! :-)

Steve said...

Very interesting.

Ms Scarlet said...

A love interest?
Sx

Pearl said...

Steve, that remains to be seen. :-)

Ms Scarlet, there was an earlier encounter, yes. The dang cat is smitten.

jenny_o said...

It's the yin/yang of owning - sorry, living with - a cat, isn't it? Forehead wrinkles, tanks of gas; skin perforations, intrigue. Can't have one without the othththther.

Looking forward to more ...

Should Fish More said...

I still think I met her at the Dew Drop Inn in South Chicago one Wednesday night.

Jacquelineand.... said...

So it was her I saw at the Slippery Noodle Inn in Indianapolis! I wondered...

Daisy said...

Uh oh. Sounds like there are shenanigans in the works.

vanilla said...

Another adventure revealed, again too late to stop it.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
That Juan guy is gonna be trubs. I just know it. Can feel it my gas tank... YAM xx

Elephant's Child said...

Ooooh. You are the Mistress of suspense.

Delores said...

Work tomorrow girl....best get to bed. Hopefully your car will be in the driveway.

Indigo Roth said...

I'd have put her above mere "bait". Salmon, shuuurely? =)

Sioux said...

I can't wait. But I guess I will have to be patient...

Rosemary Nickerson said...

I hate it when I try to shake them off and they dig with their claws to hang on!

HermanTurnip said...

"The cat raises her left paw, checks the inside of her wrist. “2:30.”"

Just the mental image of a cat conferring with her watch was too much to bear. I had to laugh. Well, actually, it was more of a snort, but I won't admit that I snort. Ever.

Leenie B said...

I think I saw Liza Bean's timepiece on the Invicta watch channel.

Beach Bum said...

I wish my cat, Spock, could meet Liza Bean.

River said...

This is interesting, part two will be spell binding I'm sure.
My new kitty, Angel, sits on my chest to wake me and if I pretend to stay asleep, he licks my nose.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Woo I can't wait to read part 2

NanaDiana said...

We are twin thinkers-separated only by a state border. I am your newest follower and you are already on my sidebar.
Ummm...I spent my share of moments at the teacher's desk, too....Diana

Diane Tolley said...

I have so been waiting for Juan Diego to re-appear! Yummm . . .