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Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Everything Normal Over Here; or, What’s With All the Ear Plugs?

Some houses contain stacks of books.

In some houses, you find mounds of cat toys.  Tidy piles of receipts.  Dozens of empty Fresca cans in the recycling.

And in some houses, there are ear plugs on the floor.

Dolly Gee Squeakers, formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers, trots excitedly from one end of the living room to the other, a pink and green ear plug in her mouth.  She drops it, upon reaching the far end of the room and, with a tiny guttural exclamation of joy, bats it in ever-increasing displays of ferocity.

Dolly Gee Squeakers, aka Dali Gee, aka No Kitty, No!, has discovered pride in ownership.

They are, of course, not her ear plugs to own, but mine. 

In an effort to romance the sleep back into my life, I take a sleep-aid.  I take warm baths, get read two bed-time stories, and I wear ear plugs.

There.  I said it:  I wear ear plugs.

And I don’t really get two bed-time stories. 

But I do wear ear plugs, because when you live in a duplex in the city, a gal could wake up several times a night shouting, What?!  I never! and various other nonsense answers to the city’s nonsense questions.

The discovery of these little rubber life savers has turned Dolly’s world on its fuzzy, slightly dimwitted head.

“Mrrrow?”  Fixed somewhere between the shape of a pampered badger and a speed bump, the cat skitters by, her bright blue and slightly crossed eyes blazing with the pride of ownership.

The cat drops the ear plug at Willie’s feet.  He bends over, picks it up.  “This doesn’t seem right to me,” Willie says, side-arming Dolly’s latest craze into the other room.

The long-haired Siamese mix lets out a cry, somewhere between desire and heartache, and dashes across the room, only to drop the ear plug at Willie’s feet.

“At least she’s through with her reggae phase,” I say.  “That was driving me crazy.”


Willie looks at me, shakes his head, throws the ear plug again.

24 comments:

Shelly said...

You know, this might be a marketing bonanza. Selling your used ear plugs on ebay as the revolutionary new cat toy could be the hottest new trend. I'd be calling Petco, too...

Daisy said...

Pearl, could the reason for your sleeplessness be that you are the reincarnation of a cat ... meant to play all night and sleep all day? Maybe a different job serving martinis at the cat pub Lisa Bean frequents?

Delores said...

Just as long as he keeps throwing the ear plug.

Simply Suthern said...

In my house the fetch craze is driven by elastic hair bands and a stick with a bell and feathers.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
Bless you for being able to wear the rubbery little b*****s...I've got one of those smaller than standard ear canals which results in extreme pain from any insertion. Then again, having tinnitus means that earplugs might be worse than living with the city's "nonsense"!!

I do however have a cased pair in my handbag. You never know when I might meet a cat who wants to take pride in ownership... YAM xx

Pearl said...

Shelly, I'm on my way to riches!!

Daisy, :-) I used to stay up so very, very late... Dont' think I ever went to bed before 1:00 a.m. well into my 30s...

Delores, yep. He's in for it now!

Simply, we also have a stick with the remnants of feathers on it...

Yam, oh, yes, the first few pairs hurt me, but now I have some very collapsible spongy things that don't hurt me!

Jess said...

I am a fan of the earplug. I have finally found the perfect ones, so shall share with you:

Hearos - Extreme Protection

http://www.hearos.com/products/extreme-protection

Best damn earplug I have ever found. When you first use them, roll them around in your hand for a while to loosen them up. Found that has helped with the sore ear in the morning.

I can always find them at Walgreens, but rarely at my local Wal-Mart. However, their site says they sell at many locations.

Also, cat approved. (per our five cats)

HOOTIN ANNI said...

...oh no. Now I see why you have ear plugs. Listening to reggae would prompt me into buying a gross.

Love blue eyed kitties I do!!!! Cats rule.

bill lisleman said...

both an ear plug and a cat toy - interesting

Douglas said...

Dolly fetches? A cat fetches thrown objects and returns them??? I am stunned. My fingers sit agape, unable to articulate.
My cats fetched but never brought anything back.... the little bastids.

I, too, once wore earplugs. I discovered them when I purchased my first firearms. They were essential on a gun range. And, as I was working mid-to-8, allowed me to sleep relatively undisturbed (aside from the cats) during the day.

Geo. said...

I think cats just love to play around with things that come out of something else's head.

Pearl said...

Jess, that's wonderful! Thank you!

Hootin Anni, then we are in agreement. :-) No reggae, more blue-eyed kitties.

bill, :-) Got a whole post out of it.

Douglas, of course she doesn't always bring it all the way back. Sometimes she drops it and then lays on top of it. But yes, the little bestid fetches. :-)

Geo., you always get at the crux of the matter. :-)

River said...

Ear plugs, that has to be the cheapest cat toy ever!
@Yamini MacLean, do a little shopping around and get earplugs that fit, possibly a different style. I have some called Ear Defender, provided free by the factory I used to work at, they are rubber and washable and come in various sizes. I have the smallest size. Manufactured by MSA: Mine Safety Appliances company, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA, the case has a product number which says part number 17227. When the factory closed down I was given the leftover supply of small earplugs. When correctly inserted they block out noise very well and are not painful.

Sioux's Page said...

My daughter's cat likes to play fetch with her hair rubberbands--you know, the ones that are coated?

Maybe Dolly could switch what she's hooked on?

Elephant's Child said...

Jewel has a passion for my earrings. And acorn shells and shopping bags. Jazz has a passion for anything he can destroy.
Earplugs sound fine to me - but then I don't use them. And am not certain I want to put something which has been carried around in a cat's mouth inside my head. Oh, wait - earrings sort of qualify don't they?

Slick said...

Mullet The Minion fetches and brings back. Her favorites are paper wads made from store receipts. If she can't find one already wadded up, she looks through trash cans and brings me a receipt.

"Time to play, peon."

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

You SHOULD be read two bed time stories!

Linda O'Connell said...

I talk in my sleep especially when the TV is on. Other people need ear plugs when I am sleeping.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I have never worn ear plugs but then I have never lived in an area that needs them, that said Tim has worn them many times.

jeanie said...

I used to share a house with the Stupidest Cat in the World (aka Black Cat) and his Human Serf.

He liked to eat rubber bands. No, really, you don't need to think that one through to its end, just take a shortcut and be assured that Earplug obsession is the friendly end of that wedge.

And the need - well, don't get asked any nocturnal questions of the waking up and confessing variety here.

jenny_o said...

I say if you can get a cat excited about anything, it's a red letter day. Anything other than their dinner, of course.

Jono said...

The wife wears earplugs, but it makes it hard to wake her up in the morning. Sometimes I don't.

Misha Gericke said...

City noises get to me too.

Luckily for me, we live at the outskirts now (as in the fifth to last street before the end) so it's a lot quieter.

Daisy said...

A cat that plays fetch with earplugs--just when I think I've heard everything...:D