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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Now with More Bone! or Tora! Tora! Tora!


I have long suspected that I was special.

The freckles, of course, were my first clue.

“Angel kisses,” Grandma said, generously.

“Wait’ll they get wet,” Kevin would hiss into my ear.  “If they get wet and you scratch ‘em, they’ll stink.”

Then there’s my ability to burn myself with a curling iron, something I do at least three times a year.  And of course there’s my uncanny knack insofar as eyeballing teaspoons and tablespoons without actually owning a set myself.

And yes, whatever I’ve just cooked is supposed to taste that way.

All of this special-ness adds up to one thing:  not being surprised when the dental hygienist mentioned the tora in my mouth.

Not the torah, even if it is Rosh Hashanah, in my mouth. 

The tora.

“The what now?”

“Right here,” she says, running her metallic doohickey along the roof of my mouth.  “The bony plate.”

“Uh oh-ee eigh?”

“Yep,” she says.  “The bony plate.”  She puts the doohickey away.  “That’s why you cut the inside of your mouth so often on crunchy foods.  Am I right?”

I sit up slightly, nodding.  I run my index finger along the roof of my mouth.  There is a ridge of bone running smack down the middle of it, dividing my palate in two.  “You mean not everyone has this?”

“No,” she says.  “It’s not exactly rare, but it’s not common.”

“Other people’s palates are flat?”

“Yep.”

I consider this.  “I have abnormal brain waves, too,” I tell her. 

“I don’t doubt it,” she says.

“Plus,” I say, “I can still put my feet in my mouth.”

“That’s gotta come in handy,” she grants, grinning. 

I like a dental hygienist with a sense of humor.

I open my mouth wide, try to see the top of my mouth in the little mirror, but it looks the way it’s always looked.


There’s so much yet to be discovered.

44 comments:

The Six-Fingered Monkey said...

I don't know where to put this in my head: “I can still put my feet in my mouth.”

Mandy_Fish said...

I just found out I have Torus Mandibularis. Little bony projections in the bottom of my mouth.

La Chaim.

Silliyak said...

I'm so disappointed to hear this. As it happens, I'm toraphobic. I can no longer read your blog, and I would have to discriminate against you, given the opportunity
;(

Shelly said...

I've always wanted to be in one of those human freak shows. Maybe me with my double jointed fingers and you with your tora...

joeh said...

Ewe av a oh-e-ate!

Am!

once again, very funny. THe post, not the oh-e-ate

Camille said...

They once put a wee little camera up my wahzoo just to have a good looksee around and guess what they found? Jimmy Hoffa! No, not really, I'm kidding...

They found bony protrusions! We have something in common Pearl...kinda.

Teresa Evangeline said...

I have the boney ridge (not to take your specialness away - you're still very special) and I have the boney lumps behind my lower teeth...and none of this has stopped me from being able to put my foot in my mouth either.

However, I do not, nor have I ever had, freckles.

ah, yes, the body: The Undiscovered Country.

esbboston said...

I am a self cannibal, too. I blame mine on a botched oral surgeon job with my wish dumb teeph.

TexWisGirl said...

learn something new every day...

Pearl said...

I confessed this at work yesterday to a favorite co-worker who promptly showed me two rows of bony plates in her lower jaw, right there along her bottom teeth. Nothing you would ever be able to see without being shown, but quite remarkable.

And Camille? Jimmy Hoffa?! :-) LOL!!

jenny_o said...

“I can still put my feet in my mouth.”

Very good. Oh, so very, very good!

And, thank you for larnin' me something new today. The human body fascinates me. In a medical way.

Douglas said...

I do not have that boney ridge on my palate. However, I did often burn that area on the first bite of freshly baked pizza. Is that the same thing? That is, until I got my "uppers" and now I can eat steaming hot pizza without fear.

I always bit my cheek when chewing... I blame that on extra wide molars.

Keep your feet out of your mouth... it's just not sanitary.

MommaRock said...

Oh, hey! I have freckles too!
But I lack the rest of what the heck you have... thanks to someone.
LOL

I have recently discovered your blog and am glad I have, thanks for a laugh!

http://tinkerbellimnot.blogspot.com/
http://anunfinishedproject.blogspot.com/

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

How often do you check to see if you can still get your feet in your mouth? I have foot in mouth disease but I have a feeling that's not what you mean.

mapstew said...

That's nothing, I've got thumbs that look like big toes! (My big toes are another matter!) :¬)

xxx

Joanne Noragon said...

I could put my heel in my elbow once. If I'd know back then, I probably could have put my foot in my mouth as well.

Ms Sparrow said...

There's a lot to be said for thinking you are average and normal!

Drake Sigar said...

I don't know what you're on, but I want some.

vanilla said...

Oh, good. Had you not gone on to explain I might have thought you had a tiny Pentateuch printed on the roof of your mouth.

Joshua said...

Am I not supposed to be able to put my foot in my mouth? I'm so confused...

Buttons said...

My hygenist is a talker too.:) B

Craver Vii said...

Yeah, my parents didn't want me chewing my nails, so they made me wear shoes.

It would take a terrible car accident to get my feet up to my mouth.

Kana said...

Oh, buddy. You are a miracle of nature's design, and you may find you have an evolutionary edge in catching live prey that will bear you in good stead in the post-Apocalyptic. Those ratbears won't just hold still while you eat 'em!

I put my feet behind my head instead, people are way more on the "impressed" side than the "grossed out" side of the whoa-index. The other side of the skull makes all the difference.

River said...

I have the bony ridge too and thought it was normal. I thought everyone had one. I often bit the inside of my cheek or my tongue when eating.
Brings tears to the eyes that does.

Stephen Hayes said...

I don't feel a boney ridge. I think my palate is flat. It's the only thing on me that is.

Linda O'Connell said...

We are in a class of our own with our bony ridges and superior brains.

Indigo Roth said...

Hey Pearl! Hmmm. So, is it safe to kiss you? Think it'd be best to check, just to be sure. You're welcome. Indigo x

Terri Tiffany said...

Hi Pearl, I love your writing style! You made me check out my own mouth too--lol. Thanks for stopping by my blog today! I love to meet other bloggers and writers!

Gigi said...

I find that I still put my feet in my mouth on a regular basis.

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

I was once diagnosed with Tennis Tora. Which probably explains why I'm so bad at tennis.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I would like to contribute to this list of special features, but I don't think the world is ready to hear about it.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

The only times I've put a foot in my mouth were completely inadvertent. Goes hand-in-hand with egg on my face, you know.

Sextant said...

So Pearl does the tora spare you from sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia*? If so the tora has earned its keep.

I have one spot of tora on my lower jaw. It is like a pimple made of bone.

My special skill is that I can put my head up my butt so I can't hear my wife. Well at least she often tells me to get my head out of my butt and listen.

* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice-cream_headache

Rose L said...

Had to run to the mirror and check my mouth out...Nope! Don't have it!
LOL

Sally said...

Hey Pearl, thanks so much for stopping over at Live & Learn, I appreicate you taking the time to comment. I, too, have a tora but had no idea it had a name. Learned something new today.

The Elephant's Child said...

We could have told you that you were special without you having to go through this. I will admitt to jealousy about your flexibiity though - I am a little less flexible than a brick.

The Elephant's Child said...

We could have told you that you were special without you having to go through this. I will admitt to jealousy about your flexibiity though - I am a little less flexible than a brick.

Eva Gallant said...

My husband would have a bony protusion every now and then; sadly, not so much anymore.

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

“I can still put my feet in my mouth.”

You must save a fortune on toenail clippers.

sage said...

We always knew you were special... and that you could put your foot in your mouth, that too isn't surprising!

CarrieBoo said...

Doesn't everybody have a ridge down the middle there? Oh!

Pat said...

I used to curse my birth mark which is exactly where a tail would be - if I had a tail. Bikinis were tricky but I can honestly count the number of people who have seen it on one hand, Easily.

Pat Tillett said...

Self discovery is a life long thing and not always pretty.

Against the better judgement of a couple of my friends, I used to date my dentist. I think I need to do a post or two on all that weirdness.

ladyfi said...

I was born with my feet in my mouth!