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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Oddly Enough, It’s Not the Only Story I Have That Includes Someone Jumping on Someone’s Back…

“WHAT?”

“THE VAN’S IN THE FAR LOT!”

“HUH?! Oh, YEAH! COOL!”

We have to shout for days after the Rush concert.

It is 1981. The night is warm and our ears are ringing. We laughingly proclaim, with the arrogance of youth, that we will probably wake up deaf, comments that are greeted, hilariously, with “what?” and “huh?” and other manner of wit.

I have bought a tee-shirt. I am careful with my money, and my having spent some is not lost on my sister.


“You bought a tee-shirt? Since when?”

“Since just now. Shut up.”

Karen laughs, a tinkling sound. Images of fairies in trees leading people astray comes to mind. She is two years younger than I am. Slender, with thick brown hair and big brown eyes, Karen is the girl that you are surprised to find is as sharp as she is pretty.

I twirl my tee-shirt above my head, smiling. Not-so-secretly in love with Geddy Lee, I have taken up the bass in the last year in the belief that somehow he will hear of this and want to meet me.

I am picturing the two of us, eight full strings of Great White North-ness, when the tee-shirt is yanked from my hand and a black- shirted blur of a thief goes streaking by me.

“Hey!” I scream. I take off after him, abandoning the others.

I may have lettered in cross-country, but I am not fast. How many rows did I run down? How many cars did he dodge in and out of? I keep my eye on the man with the tee-shirt…

“He has my tee-shirt! He stole my tee-shirt!” People turn to look but don’t step in.

“Pearl!” I hear Karen behind me.

“He stole my tee-shirt, Karen!" I am outraged. It's mine! I paid for it! "He stole my tee-shirt!”

And just like that, Karen shoots by me, legs and arms pumping. Smaller, lighter, Karen is a sprinter.

“HEY,” she barks. In sleek moves I can see to this day, she steadily gains on him, launches herself into the air –

She lands on his back. He whirls around, batting at her, as she wraps her legs around his waist, uses her fists to beat him about the head as she screams into his ears.

"No one” punch “steals” slap “from my sister!”

The last slap catches him across the eyes. Too late, he bends forward to protect himself. She jumps off his back and picks the tee-shirt up from where he has dropped it.

She tosses it to me.

“Come to Coon Rapids some time,” she sneers at him, delivering a parting blow with both hands to his ears, “I dare ya.”

And then we run, laughing and triumphant, to the far end of the parking lot.

Where the van is waiting.

49 comments:

Simply Suthern said...

So you aint the only kid in your family with grit. Karen sounds fun.

Hospitable Scots Bachelor said...

WE NEED YOUR SIS DOWN OUR WAY!

Pearl said...

Simply, Karen's a hoot. :-) (She was also "Best Legs In Minnesota 1984". No lie.)

Pearl said...

HSB, you know, our grandmother was Scot... :-)

Teresa Evangeline said...

What a cool sister you have. What a cool sister she has. Concert Tee shirts are alter worthy. Nice recovery. Fun read. I love stories that include vans.

Beth M. Wood said...

I saw that RUSH t-shirt and...Like a moth to a flame...
I am a big fan of the "3 wise men" - my favorite being Neil Peart, not only because I love drummers, but because he is a writer...of smart, fantastic lyrics ; )
I have seen them twice...2007, and 2009. We, here in "The Lou", are big RUSH fans!

Kate Mohler said...

I haven't thought of "lettering" in a long time. Probably because I never lettered!

Sandra said...

It's never a surprise to me that you are a published writer. Your writing is captivating and vivid, and I love your sister! I love you too! But you gotta give props to a girl who beats up a guy!

De Campo said...

97.4% of my suspicions regarding Coon Rapids girls have been confirmed in one post.

havesomepie said...

I LOVE THIS STORY!!!!!!!!! I am so proud of you two!

Daisy said...

I like your sister too! :-)

Joshua said...

I like your sister. My brother would have been the one stealing the shirt, and not getting mine back if it had been stolen.

Friko said...

Pearl, you are a pearl. And so is your sister.
Does she still outrun you?

Scarlet Blue said...

Blimey, I wish I had a sister like that. Mine would've probably just laughed!
Sx

Yandie, Goddess of Pickles. said...

This was awesome! You are some hard-core.

Eva Gallant said...

What a great story of sisterly love! lol

Suz said...

show 'em where you live, I say

Douglas said...

I, too, have chased after some miscreant. But, alas, I am like a dog who catches that car...

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Good work...don't take 'nothin from nobody I say. Where the heck was the cat when all this was going on?

jabblog said...

Well done, Karen:-)

jenny_o said...

A nice tribute to your sister! And you two have a lot in common, it seems, with the pretty AND sharp business.

My one sibling, an older brother, has improved somewhat with age and several marriages, but in our youth he did more teasing and leading astray than protecting. I always wanted a sister. *mope*

Bodacious Boomer said...

You had a brother that would actually help you in any way? You are way luckier than you probably realize young one.

Doubting Thomas said...

Excellent! I love a story with a happy ending. And blows about the head :)

Susan in the Boonies said...

Whoa!!!

On my word of honor, I will never steal ANYTHING from you (when Karen's around).

Jess said...

That is a lot of action for a Rush concert! I have been to two Rush concerts this year and one a couple of years ago! Love those guys! I am shocked that they haven't asked me to come and sing back up...I feel certain they can hear me from my seat!

That Baldy Fella said...

T-shirt thieves, beware! From out of the shadows comes... The Sprinter! Able to leap onto a back in a single bound...

I miss the days when I used to go a gig and suddenly realise on the Thursday after that I wasn't hearing that high-pitched ringing noise anymore.

Pat Tillett said...

Take that, you rat bastard!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I love Karen too. Do you rent her out for concerts/special events?
Fun story!
xoRobyn

IndigoWrath said...

I knew it. You're a kick ass. From a family of kick asses. Remind me to put that milk back I stole from your doorstep.

Pearl said...

Teresa, I could tell you wuz a van girl. :-)

Beth, have you seen their new documentary, Beyond the Lighted Stage?! I smiled all the way through it…

Kate, what, no jacket?! :-) I wonder where that thing is…

Sandra, awww! :-) Karen’s a scrapper. And that just reminded me of another fight…

De Campo, you’ve been talking to those Fridley girls again, haven’t you? No, wait. You got that from my post, didn’t you? Dammit!!

Havesomepie, oh, you coulda totally rode with us!

Daisy, she’s quite the li’l gal!

Joshua, Karen totally would’ve have beat him up for you, you know.

Friko, you know, I’ll bet she CAN out-run me!!

Scarlet, when you’ve got Karen on your side, you’re gonna win.

Yandie, well, in this case, I think Karen was hardcore. :-) But I’ll take it!

Eva, well it beats the time she threw a bucket of water at me!

Suz, oooh. I like that!

Douglas, and I like that, too!

Delores, I know! Treats and belly-rubbin’ and the BIGGER portion of the bed and what do I get?!

Jabblog, I can’t wait to show her this post!

Jenny_o, oh, you can join me and Karen. :-) We’re like that.

Bodacious, she was/is still pretty helpful. Plus she makes me laugh.

Doubting Thomas, I’ll have to dredge up some more then!

Susan, nope, Susan! We’re against stealing. Especially hard-earned concert tee-shirts from your favorite band RUSH! WOOOOOOO!

Baldy Fella, the concerts are still out there, only NOW after them there’s the ringing in the ears and yer achin’ back and feet…

Pat, and many other words to that effect!!

Rawknrobyn, man, I shoulda looked into that long ago. Good-looking, funny, and feisty? People actually do that for a living…

Indigo, our friends we only tease mercilessly. And make them buy us drinks.

lisleman said...

I've heard of twisted sister but you have one tough sister. That's a lasting memory thanks for sharing.

Pearl said...

lisleman, the best part is that she doesn't "look" tough. :-)

nursemyra said...

your sister sounds adorable. Does she do weddings, parties, bar mitzvahs?

Gigi said...

See?!?! I KNEW I was missing something from not having a sister.

I didn't know you lettered. I did too....in shorthand. (hanging my head in shame) But to be fair, I didn't even realize you could get a letter for it; so it was kind of a nice surprise.

"GB" said...

Did your sister get to wear that t-shirt she worked so hard to save? Hope so!

Happy Frog and I said...

If I wasn't an only child and could have a sister I would want them to either be your sister or you. Or both. Great post.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Late to the party again (damn!) but hell I enjoyed this. Although I'm baffled that a Rush fan was sober enough to steal the tee in the first place. :) Ha! Part of me hopes you still have that t-shirt and part of me REALLY hopes you still wear it. Thanks to Karen of course.

Shelly said...

What a great story (and sister!). I remember seeing Rush about then- ahhh- the memories...

IndigoWrath said...

Buy you drinks? Somewhere, my bank manager is sleeping badly.

Jhon Baker said...

Great story - love your sis, you are two tough chicks.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

Man, I tell ya what. It sucks to be an only child. (Still - to this day.) I need a Karen.

Dr. Cynicism said...

A story with Rush, awesome sisters, and women beating up a loser guy - my day is now complete!

Crystal Pistol said...

SISTERS FOREVER! (That's what my sis and I always shout out the windows when we are hilarious.)

I LOVE THIS STORY! YAY FOR SISTERS AND T-SHIRTS AND TELLING SISTERS TO SHUT UP! AND YAY FOR BEATING UP PUNK ASS BULLIES!!!!

Pat said...

I knew Karen was a great sister.
BTW is that Geoffrey Rush?

Jon said...

Sounds a bit vigorous your Karen. Are her slapping days over?

Leslie said...

1. This story struck a note with me...I really liked it.
2. I just bought a letter jacket last night...not for ME of course...do you know how EXPENSIVE they are? Sigh.

BaliMoz said...

What a crowded blog...so many visitors and comments left...I want to follow your blog

Vintage Christine said...

Coming of age in the 60's, there didn't seem to be an Allman Brothers gig that I didn't attend around the South, and then living in San Francisco afforded the opportunity to hear so many great 60's bands at the Fillmore West. And now I sit here, old and grey, with great memories of those good times and a MAJOR case of tinnitus!

Middle-aged Mormon Man said...

Not sure if I am more jealous that your sister is awesome, or that you went to that concert.