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Monday, November 16, 2009

Whatcha Eatin'?

Pearl, who is sick today and will refer to herself in the third person in an attempt to distance herself from the action, is, for the second time in 512 straight posts, "re-posting". She's not proud of this and begs your indulgence.

This is from April 4.

And now I'm going back to bed, where I hope to continue the feverish dream I was having about the homeless people who moved into my backyard and wanted space in the refrigerator.

My sister and I used to live together, somewhere in our early-30s. It was a damn good time; and when our sons were away on the weekends, as sometimes happened, we’d use the quiet time to get loud.

Shots of vodka and Rollerblades. Do you have any idea how well these things go together? I do! A drunk on skates has no fear and no compunction against, saying, skating to the grocery store to get smokes.

It’s also how we both learned to spin.

We are both dancers, both “happy” drinkers, and we’d crank the music up and dance, leaving the room only to answer the phone or go to the bathroom.

I remember going into the bathroom and coming back to see her head in the fridge. There was an odd “pssssssssssst” sound coming from its interior.

“Whatcha eatin’?”

“Come ‘ere! Come ‘ere! Wanna know something really tasty?” She held up the Redi-Wip container. “Open your mouth!!”

Ah, why not?! I opened my mouth and Karen filled it full of whipped cream.

“Hey, you wanna know something else cool?”

This made me laugh. If shooting Redi-Wip is cool, what else is cool?!

We sat on the floor in the kitchen and opened a cupboard, whereupon she reached in, all the way to the back, and pulled out a box of saltine crackers and one of those cans of pre-made fudge frosting.

“Put this on ‘ere. Try it.”

Well hot damn, if fudge frosting isn’t good on a cracker!

“Whatcha eatin’” became a joke. We would call each other at work, leaving whispered messages on voice mail: Whatcha eatin’? We would yell at each other through the bathroom door: Hey! Whatcha eatin’?

We’re childish that way.

One day, I was downstairs cleaning the litter box. Exhausted from a day of work and preceding days of cleaning houses, I sat on the floor, hunched over and brain-dead, sifting through the litter box using a large slotted spoon purchased just for such occasions.

Karen walked by me, glanced, kept going – and then stopped, backed up to take a second look.

“Whatcha eatin’?”

I can never look at a slotted spoon without remembering that: the sifting of the cat poop, the look on Karen’s face as she asked me what I was eating…

The simplest memories are the best.


Amber Star said...

I don't drop by and comment often, but this is too funny. The cat litter "Whatcha eatin'?" thing is too funny.

Hope you are feeling better soon and I hate those fever dreams.

Jayne Martin said...

Cat poop rolled in sand. Mmmmm... Almond Roca. Glad you did a re-post. I do this from time to time just because you get new readers and then seldom sift through the archives where some of the best stuff can be buried. Feel better soon.

ellen abbott said...

I had a group of friend's once who delighted in asking 'guess what?'. If you foolishly, absent mindedly replied, 'what?' you'd get 'chicken butt!'. Aren't adults clever?

powdergirl said...

If I was nearer I'd make you some home-made chicken soup. Mine heals pain, fever and homelessness. Plus the noodles look funny and nonconformist.

Hope you feel better soon. Sure has been a year of colds and flues, huh?

Whatcha eatin?

f8hasit said...

Hope you feel better soon!
My daughter too is home ill, although after the rather hearty breakfast she just ate...me thinks she is pulling the wool over my eyes.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I hope you feel better soon!


Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

That is a great repost and I hope you feel better soon!!

Kavi said...

Hope Pearl is feeling much better ! In first person !

Get well soon

mrwriteon said...

Some things are better the second time around. Thanks for re-sharing and please be well soon, OK?

Bee said...

The "food" sounds pretty gross, but your reminiscences did make me wish that I had a funny sister!

Hope you are better soon. x

Douglas said...

Like a favored TV program, I even like the Pearl Re-runs.

You shoulda said "Salted Tootsie Rolls, want one?"

Douglas said...

Oh, and get well soon. I am almost well myself. But the dreams... they still come. I wish they had some mind-corder that would record these and replay them for you later.

The Retired One said...

Too funny.
Hope you get well soon. it is the pits being sick.

Oh, and:
"whatcha barfing?"???

Not The Rockefellers said...

Get well soon girl....
the free world depends on it :)
Whatcha Eatin?

Peace ~ Rene

otin said...

Dogs like the taste of cat poop!

Feel better, I just got over it!

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

Hope you get well soon!

Sisters are just something else! Wish I had one!

mapstew said...

Chicken soup?

Get well soon.


lisleman said...

thanks for reposting because I don't remember it.
wow I never thought of what it would be like to live with a sibling since we were kids growing up.
I've had good times with my siblings but you two really have some special going.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Did someone say "Redi Whip"???? What a great memory-- We used to do that all the time too.

Hope you're feeling better soon Pearl.


LucyCooper said...

Isn't it odd what sticks? When my son knows I mad at him he does this funny little tiptoe dance, because he knows it cracks my up. I can be furious at him, but the tiptoe dance always gets the laugh.

Warty Mammal said...

Do I have the recipe for you!


Suzy said...

My sister and I have the same shorthand with each other. Last night I emailed her after she test drove some new cars and asked, "How many pedestrians did you hit?" and she wrote back "Not nearly enough."

Hence72 said...

great stuff

My name is PJ. said...

Are you and your sister related to me and my sister?????

BTW, that little Redi Whip trick is referred to as "Baby Bird" in my family......

You're a hoot and I'm your newest follower...

mo.stoneskin said...

Let me know if the homeless people found space in the refrigerator and if so, how they used it!

Medora said...

My kids and I eat Reddi Whip out of the can all the time - it is a very bad habit I happy to cultivate in them.

Brian Miller said...

you dont know how glad i am that my cat goes outside because i do believe i will never look at a litter box the same. going to go brush my teeth now...lol.

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

That may be a repost, but it's a darn good one. Gave me a good case of the giggles.