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Saturday, February 26, 2011

Shhh. Pearl is Quite Delicate Today.

Today’s topic is my overwhelming and well-deserved hangover.

Ohhhhhhhhhh. The long-suffering William Throckmorton the Third's band is playing, let’s go to Mayslack's, says I. Let's get a great big table, says I.

Let’s have another beer, says I.

And now, judging by the pain, I seem to be missing bits of my skull and/or actual brain; not because I’ve found anything untoward lying about the house but because, clearly, I am not the woman today that I was yesterday.

Today’s Pearl is 45% slower witted, 75% more mascara-caked, and 100% sure she won’t be having another beer for quite some time.

Numbers are estimated and not to be used for gambling purposes.

On the plus side, an evening of laughter, absolutely true stories and a successful avoidance of cigarettes (that's 29 days and counting, for those of you keeping score) with the people of Northeast Minneapolis is something worth paying for, even if it may have been with brain cells…

Hmm. I may want to rethink that.

But definitely not right now.

If anyone needs me, I shall be lying in the dark, trying to remember why I felt I had to have that last beer.

38 comments:

Gigi said...

That last drink always seems like a good idea....until the next morning.

Sioux said...

Your previous post about your POS reminded me of my piece of ___. This car had a broken driver's side lock, so to get in, I had to open the passenger's side and lean in--my fat butt on display--and unlock the driver's side from the inside. (The gearshift and bucket seats prevented me from just getting in and sliding across.) This was not too bad until those times when I was driving a friend somewhere, and then I would have an audience to watch the floorshow.

I'M SO SORRY YOU'RE NOT FEELING WELL! (Oops. I should not be shouting with you in such a delicate state.)

bruce said...

very much like the non smoking!

i lost count on the days for my slaying the tobacco beast, but i too was at the bar last night and had the one drink more than necessary...

but i also avoided the smokietreats!


good job! pearl

Kevin Musgrove said...

I will whisper this vewy, vewy quietly...

Well done on the not smoking. If you can get completely hammered and not absent-mindedly accept a cigarette you're doing fine.

Tracy said...

AHHHH, those 'coulda, shoulda, woulda's' get you everytime, don't they? I 'shoulda' not had that last beer! well, my dear, you did so I suggest you 'could'a' make your day better and I 'would-a' stay in bed, with the lights out!
I hope you feel better...

mapstew said...

I'm off the smokes 7 years on 17th March, it was tough at the start but don't miss the feckers one bit now.

But NOBODY takes my beer away, got that?!

Party on missus! :¬)

xxx

Hilary said...

Poor you... but it sounds like it was worth it. Congrats on your 29 days.

Susan in the Boonies said...

Do you have any idea WHAT your cats were up to last night while YOU were out cattin' around?

You might want to check on that....

Lazarus said...

Only if they served beer on the bus, then we'd have an explosive melange of great Pearl posts! Maybe you can sneak a six-pack on to share with your fellow riders and their shovels!

Irish Gumbo said...

You had that last beer because no one can avoid their destiny. Besides, you had to celebrate the non-smoking days somehow, yes?

powdergirl said...

You curl up on the couch with your blanket Pearl and I'll just be in the kitchen fixing you a nice cup of hot, sweet tea and some little wedges of buttered toast.

Ssssshhh. : )

Kal said...

Once you co-ordinate your smoke/beer ratio in correct order it will all work out fine. Now it's nice to see that you actually do drink enough to have a hangover. I am such a chicken to go that route.

becca said...

aw you poor thinghope the day gets better hugs

Douglas said...

First, let's address the hangover. As a man of almost unlimited experience in that area, I can tell you there are only two known remedies:
Alka-Seltzer or a bit of the "hair of the dog." I can tell you that combining the two doesn't work quite as well.

And, sweets, it wasn't the last beer that got you. It was the many last beers...

Congrats on the smoking cessation. I am keeping score.

Betty Davis said...

I had a friend who swore beer & tomatoe juice the next morning would work everytime for a hangover. Not sure what that would taste like, but who cares if it works.

Jon in France said...

That much beer and you managed to stay of the fags. I'm impressed.

Casey Freeland said...

Oh, owe. So sorry. I think I'll go get one of those hangovers tonight.

Cheers,

Casey

jenny_o said...

Congratulations on the 29 days non-smoking - good job.

Yandie, Goddess of Pickles. said...

I have been brought here via Evil Bruce's blogroll and I must say that by golly, I thoroughly enjoy your writing style. And that I too am hungover today. Maybe not to the point of missing brainstuffs, but I'm not myself.

Eva Gallant said...

Congrats on your ongoing win in the tobacco war!

Simply Suthern said...

Are you sure it was that last beer? It may have been that 5th or 6th one. After that it really dont matter. You might as well keep drinking.

a Broad said...

This has happened to me ... but not with beer.
The first time it was ...are you ready? Singapor Slings. My first drink. The last time I had one of those.
I hear food helps.. greasy food .. I wouldn't know because the first time was the last time I ever let myself get in the position for that much pain.
feather light besos to your aching brow .. C

bluzdude said...

I think your only recourse is to continue drinking. Is this not the weekend?

Cheers!

Unknown Mami said...

29 days! I'll drink to that.

injaynesworld said...

If you can go out drinking and still not manage to smoke, that's just awesome. Congrats.

Sorry about the hangover though.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the non cancer sticks!! Proud of you Pearl...BTW how was Willie's band?

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Feel better, dear. *tip toes away*

V. Furnas said...

Congrats on the no smoking...that last beer is a killer the next day. Find a giant greasy burger and fries and your world will change.

Vintage Christine said...

Delicate, schmelticate. Ya drinks too much, ya suffer da next day and ya deals wid it. Hope you had fun, though!

Bossy Betty said...

You are my role model.

Amanda said...

I also wish I hadn't had that last beer last night. It made this morning awful. At least you're still witty when you're hungover.

River said...

Mascara caked?? Shame on you. All make up must be cleansed off before going to bed, no matter how drunk you are. So sayeth my mother, who is currently dead, so don't listen to her.
Sounds like a great time was had. Congrats on the non-smoking!

Tempo said...

Im not sure you can blame that last beer for your condition Pearl...clearly someone spiked your drinks while you werent looking. I suggest you find that person and thank them..

Symdaddy said...

SERVES YOU RIGHT!

Supergreensunbear said...

Hehe, the beer will be back... no one can stop it! Kudos on avoiding the sticks of doom though :)

Jhon Baker said...

glad to know the quitting is working out - K's and mine is going strong on seven days now - seven 24 hour periods that is - plus an hour and nine minutes - but who's counting?

Oilfield Trash said...

It is not a true drunken night unless you sleep in your car.....

Cake Betch said...

Congratulations on 29 days! And try eating a heavy meal... always helps me :-)