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Saturday, December 19, 2009

Wherein the Tic Talks, or We Have Your Body on Line One

I’ve had a small tic under my right eye for almost 72 hours now. I look in the mirror and assure myself that it is not noticeable, that I am presentable.

I hate to think that it is because of losing my blog-idea book (see Thursday’s “Wherein Pearl Misses an Inanimate Object” and no, you may not refer to it as my “diary”), but who knows? I’ve had stranger physical reactions.

See, I don’t get normal stuff. Sure, my foray into the Swine Flu was fairly normal, aside from the feverish squealing, but I tend to get the stuff no one’s heard of.

Fleas, for instance.

That’s right. I had fleas.

What? You think I’d make that up?

“You live on a farm?” the doctor asked.


“You have animals,” he said.


“Why are some of them circled with an ink pen?”

“The bites?” I said. “Because I’d go to bed with three and wake up with 30 and I was just trying to keep track of them.”

“Well,” he said, trying to hide his delight. “You’ve got fleas. Now, normally, fleas don’t like humans, but you –“ and he blushed – he blushed! – “must be, uh, tasty.”

Why yes. Of course I’m tasty!

Even the fleas think so.

I also once had costochondritis.

You may persist in your belief that a friend of yours once vacationed there – just south of Puerto Vallarta, wasn’t it? – but believe me when I tell you that it is no where you want to go. Costochondritis is most definitely north of South America, right in the center of the chest, actually, and causes you to breathe shallowly and with fear in your eyes.

If someone offers you the costochondritis, tell them “no, thank you”.

And then send me your $30 co-pay because that, my friend, was sound medical advice.

So why the tic?, you say.

Good question.

I support, at work, one man – in an administrative capacity only, of course. We have a good relationship. We are both hard workers, both direct in our affect, both analytical in nature.

I was informed by him earlier this week that after 25 years, he is leaving.

That’s my third boss in six years.

And the tic in my eye?

I wonder.

Perhaps, like him, I just can’t see going to work anymore.


sage said...

I will have to remember to circle flea bites with a pen if I am ever attacked--considering places I've slept I'm surprised I haven't been! Sorry about your boss...

Carol said...

Fleas & cats= pain in the ass. I had that issue earlier this week. The cat spent the night outside in the freezing cold but that's what you get for eating bunny.

Sorry to hear you are losing your current boss. That sucks.

Joanie M said...

When my 2 cats had fleas this summer, I had bites on my ankles. I learned a valuable lesson.... don't let their Frontline wear off especially in summer!!

CatLadyLarew said...

ACK! I hate change... it's going to be difficult losing a boss you enjoy working with. Good luck with that tic.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm. I think you're very astute in your diagnosis of what might be causing the problem. I mostly get headaches thinking about working in newspapers for the last 14 years. So I understand a bit of what you're going through.

Douglas said...

I, too, have a tic... But it's inside my brain. Frustrating, aren't they?

darsden said...

hang on I am scratching... Merry Christmas Pearl and Have a Very Blessed New Year!

Maelstrom said...

The tic is probably stress related, I've had them before at particularly trying times..

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

I've had a tic like that, which comes back periodically. Pretty sure it's stress-related. Getting a new boss can be stressful, for sure. Hope the next one is even better than the current one!

The Retired One said...

Nothing WORSE than having to train in a new boss, is there??? I feel for you!

Oh, go to my blog when you get this, you have won a PRIZE!
I am SO glad it was you!

Madame DeFarge said...

At least you don't have to run away to join the flea circus. Hope all gets well soon.

Irish Gumbo said...

I've always wanted to be tasty, but the costochondritis, not so much.

The tic, yeah, probably stress related. Probably explains this damn spastic left bicep I have...

powdergirl said...

Tics AND fleas?

AND a new boss?

Bah Humbug!

Beth said...

I think you need a few drinks. And a vacation.

Eva Gallant said...

Fleas and a tic! Hopefully a new boss will help one or the other!

Tempo said...

Accentuate the tic, lean to one side and start making chicken sounds and you wont have to worry about being lumbered with all his work..dont over do it though or you wont have to worry about doing all your work either..
Now hold still while I put these Frontline drops on your neck...there's a good girl.

kimber p said...

you know I get those too, and I remember reading something about it being caused by a deficiency of a vitamin or mineral..something like that...or maybe it was beer.

My name is PJ. said...

Your last line was a zinger! I grown to count on you to finish as strong as you started!

I have had Costco-itis, which I had to hyphenate so it wouldn't look too much like 'coitus'.

It manifests itself by leaving you wandering about, constantly distracted; filling carts that move on wheels with a lot of this and that; and writing checks for a minimum of $300. Advanced stages include consuming odd snacks obtained from gloved hands AND hotdogs (!)

Anonymous said...

I sometimes get a tic from nerves, or pressure. It goes away after I relax. I always get a tic at funerals.

justsomethoughts... said...

i get the tics sometimes
and i can even see them
and they make me nervouse
and then they go away

not fun
and then they go away