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Saturday, November 21, 2009

Turns Out I Just Needed to Drink More, or Pearl Takes a Nap

For the first time since last Saturday, I slept a full night Thursday night.


I want to thank all the people who commented and e-mailed about my insomnia. There were a lot of good ideas regarding what worked for them, including:

Benadryl and whisky – Good use of side effects!
Plenty of beer and sex – A classic, but my birthday’s coming and I want to be able to act surprised.
Hot baths – I’m a big fan, particularly if it comes with bubbles and a book.
Warm milk – Since that little skinny kid in kindergarten kept his carton of milk on the radiator in the nap room, the very thought of warm milk, unless laced liberally with chocolate, makes me want to lay on a rug somewhere and wonder what’s wrong with him.

In the end, what worked?

I bought a new pillow.

And then I drank a six pack and had sex.

We all have requirements for our sleep. My parents were both raised in unheated bedrooms, a chilly proposition in Minnesota. The kids on my mom’s side slept three to a bed (all 14 of them), and my father’s family? Well they were just plain poor.

And because the unheated bedroom was how they were raised, it was how I was raised as well; and I’ve passed the love of the cold bedroom/warm bed along to my son.

You should’ve seen his face the year I got him a featherbed for Christmas – well, what 17-year-old male wouldn’t have been thrilled?

Here we are: believers in line-dried sheets and layers upon layers of blankets, preferably in an unheated room at the back of the house.

Funny how the seasons change one’s perceptions. Trying to remember July now is like remembering a photo: I was at the picnic table under the apple tree, wearing a cotton dress and no shoes, working on a post. The ice in my Salty Dog was melting; the kitties were tucked, under the ferns, eyes half-lidded in the shade; and the interwebs access was “very good”.

It was summer then, and it was time to be outdoors.

And now? Now, it is not summer. Now it is fall, when the sun sets before dinner, a time of burrowing, of hibernation.

Sleep, my pretties. Sleep.


Jimmy Bastard said...

I've included an invoice for my services, but have knocked off 20% for cash. 30 days payment terms will be just fine.

Sleep well.

ellen abbott said...

Yay for sleep. Last night was a good sleep night for me too.

Pearl said...

Jimmy, I do sincerely owe you -- although if my husband ever finds out -- well, you have a couch, yes?

ellen, sleep is our friend. I feel fantastic.

Suzyhayze said...

I LOVE HIBERNATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Douglas said...

Beer and sex, eh? I'll have to give that a try. Not that I suffer from insomnia, it just seems like something I should try.

IB said...

Well, I love me some beer as you know, and sex? well, of course. I have to be careful though. Too much of one leads to not so much of the other (if you catch my drift).

Anonymous said...

Yes!! Cold room, warm bed. I swear by it. Even here in Winnipeg, when it's minus forty in January, I have the window open a bit. It just aids good, hard sleep.

That and tequila.

@eloh said...

I used to wake up and brush the snow off my layers of quilts... hope that as I climbed out of bed my sister had not pee'ed (again) and make a mad dash for the giant "Fireking" at the front of the house..... ahhhhhh

The snow coming in a broken window... my parents saw no reason to fix it . . . I was squished up against it and would probably just accidentally kick and break it in my sleep (again).

Gregory said...

am a big fan of hot bath w/ bubbles, glass of wine and possibly a woman... guess is I am asking too much :)

Irish Gumbo said...

To sleep, perchance to hibernate...or something like that. Now its nap time! Wake me up in spring, would ya? Bring beer :)

CatLadyLarew said...

I was going to say, "rest in peace", but somehow it just sounded wrong. How about, "Sleep well, my pretty!"

Fragrant Liar said...

Yeah, sometimes it all comes down to a good pillow. And beer and sex.

Jimmy Bastard said...

Aye hen, I have a couch... It's usually me sleeping on it.


Pearl said...

Suzyhayze, the bears know what they’re doing!

Douglas, yep! Beer and sex. Had to try it myself, and sure as hell it worked! :-D

IB, well said!

The Vegetable Assassin, Winnipeg! Good to hear from another believer in the cold room/warm bed theory of enjoyable sleep. The fresh air! I love it.

@eloh, you are saying things I’ve heard from my mother, although I believe she was the one who peed the bed. They had an outhouse until she was in the 9th grade, and who could stand the run from the house? Not only did they have the broken window, they also had a screen for the broken window that had been fixed with wads of Kleenex. Man I loved that farmhouse…

Gregory, sounds like you’re going to need one of those claw-footed tubs!

Irish, wouldn’t it be lovely to eat all summer, sleep for the winter? Of course, with my luck I’d awaken with twins like so many female bears do, but still! Think of the sleep!

CatLady, I appreciate the sentiments!

Fragrant Liar, pillows, beer, and sex. Not necessarily in that order.

Jimmy, unreasonable group, ain't we?!

Kevin Musgrove said...

Living alone and teetotal... no wonder I was playing Allan Sherman records at three o'clock in the morning.

(Some may question the syntax of that sentence)

Dr Zibbs said...

Oooh behhhaaave.

powdergirl said...

"Line dried sheets".

Three little words that never fail to make me smile.

In fact, the whole post had the feeling of line dried sheets.

Ciao Bella

Christine Gram said...

Thank you for reminding me. It's 2:49 am. I think I will. Nite nite.

mapstew said...

So, 'tis a pillow I need, and a six pack (I have been putting a bit of weight on the belly!) and sex. Do I HAVE to get the pillow?


pilgrimchick said...

Good for you. I have a feeling that would work for me, too, but I only have the six pack at hand at the moment.

The Jules said...

Hmm, I think I'm approaching the age when I can have beer OR sex, rather than beer AND sex.

My name is PJ. said...

I'm all about heat vents in bedroom closed, windows open, lots of blankets...all winter long.

Anonymous said...

I love a warm blanket straight out of the dryer, lots of prescription cough syrup and sex. Good combo!