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Sunday, September 27, 2009

Snorting Bleach and Grunting with Vigor, or Mary and Pearl Make an Honest Living

Good God am I tired.

Let me tell you about cleaning houses, people. The truth is this: no matter the size of the place, empty or occupied, house or an apartment, cleaning a domicile is no small matter.

Ask Mary or me. We’ll tell you, and in colorful language, that cleaning a place is a serious endeavor, one best met with rubber gloves and copious amounts of bleach and wood soap.

And Comet.

I love Comet. It’s abrasive, takes out stains you’d never think would come out, and leaves behind a clean scent.

Go Comet!

The job might’ve seemed shorter, of course, if we hadn’t taken a wrong turn getting there. Mapquest said it was 4.1 miles from my house. I think we logged 20 getting there.

I blame Mary, of course. She makes me laugh, which in turn leads to a sort of muscle spasticity, which for some reason causes me to make unpredictable right-hand turns… Let’s not point fingers – unless they’re pointed at Mary, of course – regarding who took us miles and miles out of our way.

Let’s just say that it was Mary.

At any rate, we ended up well past the Loring Park neighborhood we needed and onto 35W South, which lead to 35W North, which lead to a detour which took us past some very nice houses and down around Lake Calhoun.

All of this is from memory only and should not be used for the purposes of gambling.

Where was I?

Oh, yes. We worked. We started late, stayed late, and somewhere in there, my skin took on a bleach aroma and I developed a couple more laugh lines.

It was totally worth it.

Ladies and gentlemen, when given the opportunity to work hard, laugh hard, and make cash?

I recommend you take it.

18 comments:

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Amen, sistah! Plus, how much did you bless those people whose house you cleaned?

There is nothing better than working hard, OR coming home to a freshly cleaned house.

Have a lovely Sunday, sweetie!

f8hasit said...

Good ol' Comet.
I love that stuff too.

But you ever try those Mr. Clean magic sponges? I might go broke buying those...they are phenonmenal.

:-)

geraldgee said...

Could it be its easier to turn right than left?

SparkleFarkle said...

Comet does a real number on my hands (I'm not one to wear rubber gloves.) Actually, Prancer is my favorite reindeer.

powdergirl said...

Sounds like fun Pearl, I don't do a lot of house work around here, Hey, Irene's gotta eat, you know?

When I do clean though, I break a sweat, its a pretty decent work out, I think it would probably be fun if I had someone to laugh with, even if she was a crap navigator.

I think comet smells terrible!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I love Comet too! It's the only thing that works as hard as I want it to!

I love Cash too! Good for you Pearl!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Hugs!!

the fly in the web said...

Send comet to France..I need it for my hands after grape picking and I don't care how it smells.

Barbara Blundell said...

While you 're at it Pearl I'd like some Comet too. It sounds wonderful ! Is it any good for wine stains ?

Ms. Case said...

Man oh man cleaning is a killer. I just spent the morning cleaning and preping for an open studio thing my parents are putting on today. Man I'm spent! I'm ready for my mid day nap.

CatLadyLarew said...

So, do you get the urge to clean often? If so, head on over to my house. There are quite a few twists and turns between Minneapolis & here, though, so it might take awhile to get here.

pilgrimchick said...

I'm not a Comet fan. As soon as I read it on your post, I immediately recalled its horrible odor...

The Jules said...

It's always bloody Mary.

The Retired One said...

Oh, please come to the U.P.and clean for me...and teach me to love it myself!!!!

Reddirt Woman said...

Right on Girl! When I get into cleaning, I don't mess around or do a half-assed job either. I do it right or I don't do it... you notice I'm on the computer a bit don't you? Uh huh...
But when I clean I clean like a m.f. (mopping fool). And I've been cleaning with Comet since it came out over forty years ago.

Lidian said...

Comet is the Clark Kent of cleaning powders - it looks so boring, but what a powerhouse!

Not faster than a speeding train though. And requires a lot of what my other (who used Comet a lot) would call Elbow Grease. But still very good!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Sounds like a good time! If you ever find yourself detouring past Philly I'll send you my address. I'm always willing for someone else to clean...

justsomethoughts... said...

upon reading your first few paragraphs, i immediately assumed that you'd be going in the direction of "why dont they invent a comet-like cleaner for people ?". what with it's being "abrasive, takes out stains you’d never think would come out, and leaves behind a clean scent".

see what happens when i assume...