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Sunday, July 19, 2009

Wait! Turns Out I AM Bilingual!

My husband thinks he can speak without having to move his jaw.

I don't know why this is, why he insists on making me say "what?" all day long, but he does. I say "what?" all day long.

"Marmzert," he said.


"Marmzert," he said.

Sure. I'll play along. "How come?" I said.

"Ianno," he said. "Musta bin because of all the liftin."

Ah. I can see this now. His arms hurt. He's not sure why, but he thinks it's because of all the liftin'.

There are days when I think everyone around me is talking like this. I have recently started to question my hearing.

"Mungree," T said the other day.

"What?" I said.

"Mungree," he said. "Skweet."

Can't argue with that. Let's go! I could eat a little something myself.

I've noticed this affliction in men almost exclusively. I don't know what that says: perhaps that men are more apt to clench when talking, or perhaps that women do much more talking than men and are therefore more apt to be good at it.

Steve called. "What're you doing?" he asked.

"Writing," I said. "What're you doing?"

"Buildin' a Stratocaster copy. Gonna put African Babinga inlays on the neck."

OK. So sometimes there are different reasons for it. But all I know is that these guys are making me say "what?" a lot.


♥ Braja said...

That last guy is a worry...

mbuna53 said...


nsiyer said...

I only knew now how 'what' can hit anyone.I do agree with one statement profoundly that women talk more than men.
A man said he can differentiate between male and female flies. To substantiate, he said: the ones who sit on the phone are female flies and the ones on the beer cans are male flies.

Warty Mammal said...

The last guy sounded cool. Maybe he can't talk in clenches because he has to stay unclenched to do fine woodworking?

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

My guys have listening and foucsing problems along with speech impediments.

ellen abbott said...

My Best Beloved always waits til I have just exited the room to speak to me. I always go back and say 'what?'. Lately though I've decided not to play that game. I just keep going now. I figure if he wants to talk to me he can get off his rear end and follow me.

The Peach Tart said...

Did you say something?

Sweet Cheeks said...

Here in Idaho the men are afflicted with Djeetet?

Did you eat yet?

I know of the Bubinga of which you speak. My sis in law does Intarsia woodworking with exotic woods. I love purpleheart and bloodwood.
Check out her stuff.


Thanks for that excellent work excuse!

Sweet Cheeks~

Beth said...

Is your husband related to Boomhouser?

SweetPeaSurry said...

Okay I'm playing some catch-up, or I'm playing with katsup and this will make no sense!

I can't articulate anything about this post because I'm still trying to clear the tea out of my nose. Hysterical laughter was ensuing.

Disaster about sending your life box into the repair shop. I do hope they're able to repair it's eyeballs.

I'd rather come to your party than go to Disney, that Michael Eisner is a WEIRDO!!!

I'd rather be on that dancefloor than go to Disney too. Hmmm

I don't recall signing on a dotted line for aging either. It seems to be happening anyway. Where's the devil when you're ready to strike a deal already?

I think I'm caught up on the posts I've missed *whew* Excellent posts as of late, you're always making me laugh!


Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

I think it works both ways. In my house I'm the one who is always saying, "What?"
But then my wife would probably say that I just don't listen.

mapstew said...

Werguys en wa tawk funni!

Comedy Goddess said...

My ex would always walk ahead of me while talking. Really f*(&^^# annoying.

Eskimo Bob said...

Sweet action - I'd love to tap that guitar when he's done with it.

Pearl - I'm in desperate need for you for this weekend. Drop me a line - let's get in contact eh?

Joanna Jenkins said...


Gadjo Dilo said...

Guys just love talking this way; to us it sounds the very very masculine. In UK we have a classic sketch about this!

BPOTW said...

The trick is knowing which language it is!!

Postcards from Wildwood said...

Great post! Actually, I know what the last one was talking about! But re the others - I have one husband and two sons and can confirm that I have exactly the same 'hearing problem' as you!