I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


Ladies and gentleman around the world, cats and dogs, dancers and wallflowers, the people of the United States of America would like to offer their love and a big “Whoops! My bad!” for making you worry.

That’s right. I’m speaking for the whole dang country.

Have you ever spent eight years beating your head against a brick wall? You have? Then you understand the utter liberation of when you stop beating your head on said wall.

I was up until 3:00 a.m. last night. Some of that was at Mayslack’s, celebrating Erin’s birthday. Some of that was at Kurt and Kathy’s house, coloring maps of the U.S. either blue (Democrat) or red (Republican) in the hopes of winning the Barack Obama bobble-head doll. Some of that was drinking beer. Some of that was hugging and crying with Jen. Some of that was the sustained partying by the downstairs renters and the 400 people they invited over to watch the election, drink keg-loads of beer, and, apparently, march from one end of the house to the other.

I kid you not: Hail To The Chief came on about 2:30, at decibel levels normally reserved for measuring the sound produced by vortex pairing in a Mach 0.1 acoustically-excited air jet.


Of course, that’s when I marched downstairs and told them in no uncertain terms that the conditions of our leases – wait. Nah. I didn’t do that. I just pounded on the floor like a passive-aggressive moron. Honestly, 1.) I understood their excitement; and 2.) I was looking a little bedraggled and a woman of a Certain Age needs to avoid young, exuberant folk at that time of night.

The headache is going away. The perpetual “Whaaaaat?” look that I’ve had on my face for two terms now – the one giving me wrinkles, by the way – has left.

We’ve begun a new chapter, people.

I eagerly await the history books.


Kavi said...

Aww ! We were following it here too ! And what a campaign it was !!

Phew !

mbuna53 said...

Sounds like I missed out on all the fun, yet again!

You crazy Nordesters, you.

Pearl said...

Hi, Kavi.
"Phew!" is right!!

Hi, Mbuna.
It was one of those spur-of-the-moment-and-you-live-on-the-next-block kinda things! You will definitely be notified of the next one!


Lilly's Life said...

sounds like its a night you are going to remember for many, many reasons! Now you can breather again Pearl. We jsut change governments recently after 8 years too and it does wonders for the whole country let me tell you. Even though tis going to a hard road it will be fine.

ugich konitari said...


First, congratulations.

And the wonderful thing was that the whole world experienced your exhilaration. I was on chat simultaneously, with my son and an ex university roommate from 30 years ago, as the electoral votes climbed up, and she wasnt aware that Mccain was about to concede till my son told me and i passed the news to her. Isnt the Internet absolutely wonderful....it even allows you to whoop online .

Pearl said...

Hi, Lilly!
Yes, yes! Patience! Now how quickly can I get that?

Hi, Ugich!
I do love it, oh yes! And yes, we felt quite keenly last night that the world was watching. We don't want to let anyone down!


Brother Tobias said...

I'd loved to have been over there to celebrate. Strange, because it wasn't our election, but it almost felt like it. Welcome back, USA!

Pearl said...

Thank you, Brother Tobias! It was a heckuva night!

Talullah said...

If I would have thought about it, I would have SO Blasted HAIL TO THE CHEIF out the window towards my damn Republican neighbors. But alas, all my good ideas usually come from someone elses good ideas...2 days too late.

Tami said...

A to the Men! I think we all can't help but be a little excited.

Can't wait until January.