Saturday, April 16, 2011

Whatcha Eatin'?

A re-worked re-post in honor of my sister, who is buying me lunch today.

Yay! Free food!

This one's for you, Ka-en.


Somewhere in our early 30s, my sister and I lived together. It was a good time; and when our sons were away on the weekends, as sometimes happened, we’d use the quiet time to get loud.

Shots of vodka and Rollerblades. Do you have any idea how well these things go together? Trust me: a drunk chick on skates has no fear and no compunction against, saying, skating to the grocery store to get smokes.

It’s how we both learned to spin.

Karen and I are “happy” drinkers, and are known for laughing until tears roll down our faces.

I remember coming into the kitchen in time to see her head in the fridge, an odd “pssssssssssst” sound coming from its interior.

“Whatcha eatin’?”

“Come ‘ere! Come ‘ere! Wanna know something really tasty?” She held up the Redi-Wip container. “Open your mouth!!”

Ah, why not?! I opened my mouth and Karen filled it with whipped cream.

“Hey, you wanna know something else cool?”

Do I wanna know what else is cool? You mean there's more?!

She pulled me to to the floor, opening a cupboard. Reaching in, all the way to the back, she pulled out a box of saltine crackers and one of those cans of pre-made fudge frosting.

“Put this on ‘ere. Try it.”

Well hot damn, if fudge frosting isn’t good on a cracker!

“Whatcha eatin’” became a joke. We would call each other at work, leave whispered messages on voice mail: Whatcha eatin’? We would yell it at each other through the bathroom door: Hey! Whatcha eatin’?

One day, I was downstairs cleaning the litter box. Exhausted from a day of work and preceding days of cleaning houses, I sat on the floor, hunched over and brain-dead, sifting through the litter box using a large slotted spoon.

Karen walked by me, glanced, kept going – and then stopped, backed up to take a second look.

“Whatcha eatin’?”

I can never look at a slotted spoon without remembering that: the sifting of the cat poop, the look on Karen’s face as she backed up…

The simplest memories are the best.
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30 comments:

  1. Andrea L. ColeApril 16, 2011 at 7:34 AM

    Ahh living with sisters can be so much fun! I lived with my sister and one of my best friends for about two years and the 'kid-free' weekends could be such a blast!

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  2. JeannieApril 16, 2011 at 7:35 AM

    A perfect in-joke

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  3. The JulesApril 16, 2011 at 7:35 AM

    Muesli!

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  4. SezApril 16, 2011 at 7:47 AM

    Absolutely love it! Sisters are the best!

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  5. Deb ShuckaApril 16, 2011 at 7:57 AM

    Wonderful story! Lucky you to have such a relationship with your sister.

    Kitty Roca - a dog's best treat. :-)

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  6. JinksyApril 16, 2011 at 8:00 AM

    Can't beat this kind of humour! LOL

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  7. WatsonApril 16, 2011 at 8:16 AM

    Just snorted my coffee through my nose! LOL!
    One of my friends has a dog who cleans out the litter box. I hear it's the favourite treat of some of our K-9 family.

    blaghhh

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  8. DouglasApril 16, 2011 at 8:21 AM

    I lived with my sister for 3 or 4 months when I was 19. She lived on Merritt Island near Cocoa Beach and I surfed, it seemed a good idea at the time. It turned out not to be. If she hadn't run a charm school for teenage girls at the time, I might have moved out quickly.

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  9. NicoleApril 16, 2011 at 9:02 AM

    Excellent story. Sounds like it was a good time. :)

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  10. injaynesworldApril 16, 2011 at 9:07 AM

    I wish I'd had a sister to have such good times with. Actually, I wish you'd been my sister. Now I have to go rummage through my kitchen where I'm pretty sure there are some old Saltines who stale taste can be obscured with enough fudge frosting.

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  11. jenny_oApril 16, 2011 at 9:22 AM

    Now this is why I always wanted a sister. When brothers say stuff like that you have to quickly throw away whatever you were about to eat. And I don't mean the obvious stuff like what's in a litter box :)

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  12. Little Ms BloggerApril 16, 2011 at 9:27 AM

    Okay, that is funny.

    Have you tried the whipped cream flavored vodka. It comes in regular and chocolate flavors?

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  13. UnknownApril 16, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    I need to tell you that this is one of my favorite posts of yours, ever...so much so that I have copped that phrase and use it with wild abandon ever since that day it met my eye and tickled my soul. And I have to stop doing whippets before I write. And I'm not talking about dogs here. Eww...no, that's gross.

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  14. UnknownApril 16, 2011 at 9:30 AM

    Almond Roca!!!

    Kitty Cigars are a food fit for the gods to my dogs.

    That's pretty gross, ain't it?

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  15. Nancy/BLissed-Out GrandmaApril 16, 2011 at 10:15 AM

    In-joke running gags are my favorite kind of humor. But yeah, this may color my relationship with slotted spoons.

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  16. GigiApril 16, 2011 at 11:09 AM

    Now I know what's been missing in my life...a sister! Ya got one I can borrow?

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  17. JimmyApril 16, 2011 at 11:33 AM

    Hah! Nice one.

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  18. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 16, 2011 at 12:26 PM

    That's so true about memories. I hope you had a great lunch. What'd cha eat?
    xoRobyn

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  19. Notes From ABroadApril 16, 2011 at 1:18 PM

    This is without doubt the Best Sister story I have read.

    I am a happy drinker too .. I don't wake up with headaches, my sides hurt because I laugh so much. silly me ~

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  20. Jhon BakerApril 16, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    There is little in this world I like more than free lunch and little more in this world I cringe at doing than cleaning the litter box for all three cats.

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  21. UnknownApril 16, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    I love it! My sister and I never lived together, but we are close. Even though she lives about 90 miles away, we talk on the phone several times per day!

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  22. Antares CryptosApril 16, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    LOL. Insider jokes are the best.
    One of our cats covers her business by pawing the litter so enthusiastically that she flings it out of the box.
    I'm a proud parent of an Archeologist.

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  23. CheeseboyApril 16, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    I've licked bugs off a windshield (really!), so nothing really grosses me out. Until this.

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  24. JuliApril 16, 2011 at 6:40 PM

    OK...

    1) Whip cream from the can is a food group here.
    2) Fudge frosting goes with everything.
    3) I have nothing witty to say about the kitty litter. :)

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  25. RiverApril 17, 2011 at 12:10 AM

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
    Oh dear god. Cat poop.

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  26. PatApril 17, 2011 at 2:14 AM

    Karen sounds a scream. Does it run in the family?

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  27. DeborahApril 18, 2011 at 4:03 AM

    Weird things I eat:

    cold cheese hot dogs
    peanut butter and fried egg sandwich
    cheddar cheese with apples

    Love this!

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  28. SausageApril 18, 2011 at 5:07 AM

    I must admit that at the part of the story when you "Took the whipped cream" I was about to get even more excited but then I realized that you were talking about your sister....BAD SAUSAGE go get the hose....
    my apologies to you and your family
    BAD SAUSAGE......BAD.

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  29. AnonymousApril 18, 2011 at 5:58 AM

    And now, when I empty the cat's litter tonight after work, I'll think of this, too. So thanks for that.

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  30. AnonymousApril 18, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    Sisters are great. Your story made me smile. I think I'll call my sister.

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I've gotten rather tight for time and must decline awards. I love them, but I'd rather be posting something new and making more time to respond to your comments. A heartfelt thanks to all those who have considered me for a nomination. You know how I love you.