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Thursday, March 30, 2017

Oh, Just Shut Up and Lie Down Somewhere

I’ve been sitting here for, oh, three days or so, breathing through my mouth and contemplating a future in voice-over.

Surely everyone would be as amused as I with my voice?  Somewhere between the croak of a hungover amphibian and the creak of a rusty hinge, I amuse myself intermittently with “Ave Maria” and my impersonation of me, with a cold.

“What’s that, Pearl?  You’d like some cough syrup?  Ha ha ha!  You don’t have any!”

Apparently Prior Pearl has failed Present Pearl in this.

She will be spoken to. 

Through the advances of technology, of course, I am no longer just sick, but I am now Sick and Working From Home, or as we in the business like to say, “Swiffing”.  Working in this state leads directly to emails that begin “Come in, Tokyo!” and end “Hugs and Kisses, Pearl”.

I may be exaggerating.  Or maybe not.  I worked until 10:00 last night, and who knows what those last few emails said?  Sure, I could check; but what’s the fun in that?  Better I wait for a response – or some sort of communique from Human Resources.

In the meantime, Dolly Gee Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers) is confused.  She crawls in and out of the backpack in which I brought the laptop home, mews piteously at her food bowl (which is only three quarters of the way full), walks from the couch to the dining room table back to the couch in hopes that I will join her.

Cats.  What do they know, huh?


Rose Blackthorn said...

Working from home...it won't end well.

Especially if you're feeling ill.

Go be ill. Dolly has the right of it.

Feel better soon!

Pearl said...

Ah, Rose. I was raised by people who denied the existence of illness. What's a gal to do?!

jenny_o said...

Hacking away in solidarity, Pearl. This crud is vile. My co-workers won't let me go to be among them and we don't have Swiffing unless you count dusting the floor, so I'm better off in that way ... although it does sound kind of fun ... kidding! I'm kidding ... get well soon, girl.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Uh oh. Trouble afoot. The Pearlster in 3rd person has entered the fray.

Go be with Dolly Gee - let Tokyo work their translators overtime! Sending healing vibes (in place of hot soup). YAM xx

Sioux said...

A hot toddy (spelling?) might help. Heavy on the toddy part... ;

sage said...

I hope you get to feeling better and are soon back on the bus seeking out new stories!

Elephant's Child said...

Dolly Gee Squeakers has the right idea. The couch is calling your name.

Gigi said...

Go snuggle with Dolly. Feel better soon, Pearl.

fishducky said...

It sounds like you are under the bus--get back inside it!!

Jono said...

I would be heavily into napping.

River said...

I can't imagine ever working from home. Home is where I put my feet up, grab a book and read the hours away.

the walking man said...

I'd suggest a career change. Something along the lines of freight train engine repair; a job impossible to do from home, with generous accumulated sick days (can't have you making the foremen sick, although they are a contagion). Perhaps when you're feeling better Pearl you could sit and write 200 canned responses and work from the beach using one connected gadget or the other?

Linda O'Connell said...

Okay, if pineapple won't work for you, try black licorice. I think I'd wait for HR to reprimand or reward you for your offhanded emails. Who knows, you may have a promotion by now. Hope you kick that crud, soon. My mother used to tell me, "Go to school; you'll feel better once you get there." Maybe our moms are related.

knittergran said...

Just give in and sleep it off.

Oh, BTW, cats know ALL!