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Tuesday, June 21, 2016

I've Gone Straight

I recently started seeing a chiropractor.

This, after a lifetime of disparaging them.

It was a medical doctor who got me started.  “No matter what,” he said, “never let anyone “crack” your neck.  It will paralyze you.”  He tapped the x-ray of my neck, a crooked, convoluted depiction of a Jenga tower, with the end of a pen liberated from a Holiday Inn.

“Really?”

“Absolutely,” he said.  “Never see a chiropractor.”

So I didn’t.  Because if there’s one thing that can be said of me, it’s that I’ll listen when it’s convenient.

And so to compensate for the increasing instability of my neck I took up yoga.  And wearing one of those bags of uncooked rice you heat up in the microwave.  And purchasing pillows.

And margaritas.

And it all worked until the day it stopped working, the day I couldn’t raise my left arm, couldn’t pull a shirt over my head, couldn’t raise my own margarita glass.

“Hmm,” says the doctor.  “What pharmacy do you use?”

And so I consulted with a professional, took out a small loan; and am here, before you once again, as a woman with two sets of fully functioning limbs.

I go twice a week, where a small and intensely chatty woman hooks me up to electricity and heat lamps.  This is then followed by another woman – not as small but just as chatty – who tells me to relax and then bends my spine to her will.


I take back all the things I said about chiropractors.

40 comments:

Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMotte said...

They can be very usefull. Just have to find a great one.

jabblog said...

Ooh, ouch! I sympathise. I remember a physiotherapist telling me to touch my toes and then saying, 'Do it again and go straight down.' I protested that I was going straight down but clearly I wasn't - scoliosis and lack of lordosis - sounds impressive but just means my back is like a question mark rather than an S. Seems to suit my life quite well . . .

DUTA said...

When one is in pain, one would try everything regardless of advice received.
Glad a chiropractor helped you with your problem.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

GOOD for you! I think skeletal adjustment is kind of a big deal, I mean, everything depends on it, right?

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari om
Yup, a good going over works wonders! YAMxx

Launna said...

I'm afraid of chiropractors too but I may have to get over it... xoxo

It's good to see you writing Pearl ♡

VEG said...

Yikes, sounds spicy! I'm glad it helps though. I've never seen one but having suffered from a frozen shoulder one time which sounds similar to your non moving arm thing, I support anything that helps alleviate THAT. I likened it to having someone ram a fire-roasted hedgehog up your rear end, on the pain scale.

I'm only guessing.

Catalyst said...

Pearl, my nephew is a chiropracter in the Twin Cities. If you ever need a reference, just email me. (ndakotan.taylor77@gmail.com)

Jono said...

My favorite Chiropractor is a Swedish woman who lives up the road from me. I haven't needed her services in a while, but I sure liked the results. It's good to have fully functional limbs, otherwise the frustration may turn you into a homicidal maniac and they put your name on lists at the airport. Don't forget to medicate.

Pearl said...

Hello, everyone!

Yes, it's lovely to be back to flailing my limbs when I feel like flailing my limbs. (Sometimes it's the only reasonable response.)

Catalyst, had no idea! Very good to know!

And yes, pain is a strange thing. It's not long before my dreams turn dark, not long before I catch myself in the mirror and thing "what the hell is HER problem?!"

Elephant's Child said...

Glad to see you back here. And very sorry your back has been treating you badly. And glad to hear that it is being kept in line - literally and metaphorically.

Chicken said...

Wait-are they using the BEMER on you, Pearl? I just found out about that. I've been wanting an objective opinion. Glad you are feeling better.

Geo. said...

Chiropractic treatments have helped several skeletons of my acquaintance. Results are the best criteria for any therapy. Best wishes for continued progress.

Connie said...

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better, and they were able to help you. I think I need to get myself to a chiropractor too. I've been avoiding it, but I do need to get there.

NotesFromAbroad said...

If they make you all bendy again , then it is a Good Thing.

jenny_o said...

I've heard good things about chiropractors and can vouch for physiotherapists as well. Glad you're moving well AND writing!

Should Fish More said...

As an MD, I choke out the words "um, fine if it worked I suppose you can continue...."
Cheers, Pearl
Mike

River said...

I'm glad your treatment is working well. The one time I saw a chiropractor, I spent the next four days unable to move my head comfortably. I never went back and am just as stiff-necked as I always was.

bill lisleman said...

My experience with them years ago was good. It did take a number of visits before I had lasting results. Always good to get your head on straight.

Jocelyn said...

I've never been to one, but if it's brought your shoulder back to you, I'm hella glad you got over that caution. I shall hit you up for more info if I ever find myself stuck inside my shirt. (Who am I kidding? Since shoulder surgery in March, I've pretty much been stuck inside my shirt for 12 weeks)

The Dancing Donkey said...

Doctors give the WORST advice.

Rose L said...

I did not receive any relief from a chiropractor so would not recommend. Made me worse. I did like the acupuncturist I saw.

lgsquirrel said...

Are you giving this recommendation freely or have you been tortured by the evil body bending chiropractor?

I kid. I think chiropractors can be great.....the problem is finding a good one. Hope you continue to feel better.

the walking man said...

I have all those symptoms daily, unfortunately they started after my 4th cervical surgery--ergo no chiro will touch me once they see my bionic neck.

Simply Suthern said...

I have had them help me and I have had them cripple me enuff I had to go back the next day to get uncorrected. By the way, you pay as much for the uncorrection as you did for getting yourself out of kilter. Quite the racket. However they did more good than harm. I must say I did enjoy the heat and electrodes though.

knittergran said...

I had one crack my neck once, before I knew that it was a bad thing to do. Never again---scared me. And you'll "listen when it's convenient." Sounds like most of us doesn't it?
Glad you are doing better.

Diane Tolley said...

Yep. I'm a believer! I think my head gets on cross-threaded at times...

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

I have never seen a chiropractor, mostly because I can't afford to do so, if I could afford to do so I would just to see if they help with the back pain

Lisa said...

I was always told not to go to a chiropractor, but a message therapist instead. popping and bending bones should be left in a doctors care. But if I did go to a chiropractor, I'm sure I'd be about 3 inches taller.
Lisa

sage said...

Glad you are better... I've never been to a chiropractor, but I can recommend a great masseuse in Indonesia

esbboston said...

I had one a long time ago, but he died too too young. I haven't believed in chirocracktory in quite a while.

Antares said...

So glad you started dating again.

Antares said...

P.S. The triple entendre may only be understood if one is familiar with the British expression of pulling. Now that they've floated off, it may no longer be relevant.

Sioux said...

I'm glad you're straight these days...

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

I recently started seeing a chiropractor too, Pearl. It helps for a day or two then I pop that right back out of place. Frustrating.
Glad it's working for you though!

Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandma said...

Glad you're back and glad you got some relief. I had a great chiropractor who really helped when I first developed fibromyalgia. In fact, she diagnosed me when doctors still hadn't. She also gave great advice with nutrition, exercise, etc. She adjusted several parts of me regularly. But after a few visits I got so that I tensed up every time she tried to crack my neck. It had helped somewhat, but the very thought (and sound) of it made me cringe. She was never again able to distract or relax me enough to do my neck.

Watson said...

I once worked as a receptionist for a chiropractor. It was amazing to see people come in bent over and suffering; then leave straight and smiling. Hope you continue to improve Pearl, and are feeling well, and flexible.

vanilla said...

I have always been a believer and I am happy for you that you have seen the light and found relief.

amazon said...

nice

Glen said...

general rule of life, that - when you can no longer raise your margarita glass - seek professional help.