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Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Seems Like About 20%; or Yeah, But How Was the Service?

The morning sky is a powdery blue, the clouds edged with a salmon color that really sets off the red in my eyes.

I don’t sleep well, a fact that I feel the need to repeat every now and then. 

Hello.  How are you?  Me, I didn’t sleep well last night.

But I do what I do, as I must, every morning.  Not only does my alarm clock demand this of me, but Dolly Gee Squeakers, formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers, relies on our routines:  the alarm clock, the slap-slap-slap of the snooze button, teeth/hair/lunch/dress/treats for the kitty and then out the door.

Monday through Friday, between the hours of 5:32 and 6:34. 

I cross a busy intersection, imagining that I look crisp and business-like, stepping smartly from road to curb.  I feel urbane and glamorous, no small feat at this time of morning.  Summer is returned, and all things are possible.  The weather has ceased its six-month-long killing spree, the birds have returned and have much to say, the sidewalk is free of ice and full of underwear…

I look down, step over a pair of pink lace and leopard-skin-patterned underwear.  They are neither old nor new.  I decide, for my own sake, to think of them as clean.

They are on the walk way directly in front of restaurant nearest the bus stop.

I stop, back up.  Whose are they?  Does she know they are gone? Were they hurled from an open car window?  Were they left here, in front of the restaurant, in exchange for services rendered?

I move on, reach the bus stop, whereupon I board the stopped bus, waving my scan-able bus card in front of the scan-able bus card reader.  I sit, as I always do, near the rear of the bus and stare out the window at the newly-leafed trees.

Have I been tipping incorrectly all these years?


35 comments:

Should Fish More said...

I can only imagine that for some fashionable woman the oft-mentioned 'Rapture' occurred, and as she was lifted to her destiny her unmentionables were left behind, perhaps she wasn't sure they'd be appropriate with the robes and such.

Best I can come up with at 7am, Pearl. I'll do better if you'll post more often.

Mike

rcazares said...

Ahh, Pearl in the morning. Nothing better!

Buttons Thoughts said...

Oh, how I have missed your sense of humour.
The difference between your world and mine is that after the snow and ice have melted here in the country the sides of the roads are littered with shoes. I have now come to the conclusion they to were all people running so fast they ran out of said shoes. No doubt running back to the city where they unknowingly left their underwear:) HUGS B

joeh said...

"the sidewalk is free of ice and full of underwear…"

There is a sentence I would have made book that I would never see in print.

I guess when the snow melts in your world it is like an archaeology find.

Lynn said...

Ha! I think the caption might be dead on!

jenny_o said...

Hah! Pure Pearl :)

Glad to see you re-surface, girlie.

Ms Scarlet said...

Alas, my gutters are boring... not so much as a freshly darned sock.
Sx

Nasreen Iqbal said...

Sometimes, I stop to wonder why things on the street got where they are.

Once, I found a DVD box set of "Friends" sitting along a street.

There has to be a story behind that, right?

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Dearest Pearl, it never fails, I think 'oh how I miss a lert round here' - and then you appear! That too with a vintage view of the normality that is Minneapolis! Huggies, YAM xx

Jean Lorbiecki said...

Happy to see you writing again.it'd been a very long time!

Pat said...

Oh Pearl if you are unsure about tipping how can we mere mortals get it right?

Linda O'Connell said...

"Sidewalk is free of ice and filled with underwear." I just inhaled raspberry tea. Thank you for making my day. Welcome back. Please come back. We miss you.

Geo. said...

I suspect some people are deciduous and shed underpants as a natural thing, then grow new ones in late spring.

Connie said...

It's good to see a post from Pearl in my blog feed today. :) A sidewalk full of underwear--things sound a whole lot more exciting where you live than they do here.

fishducky said...

We've missed you, Pearlie!!

Silliyak said...

A post from Pearl, I'm gonna make it after all.

River said...

Sidewalks full of underwear? We do live in interesting times, don't we?
I've missed your posts, nice to see you back.

Gigi said...

Seeing you pop up in my feed has been the best thing that has happened all day.

And these two lines were the next best things.

"... the sidewalk is free of ice and full of underwear"
"I decide, for my own sake, to think of them as clean."

Elephant's Child said...

Pearl returned!!!
Better than diamonds.

Sioux Roslawski said...

I've scooooooooooooooooored a Pearl post!

Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandma said...

It's wonderful to feel glamorous after shedding boots, mittens, bulky coats, and red noses! I mostly wear jeans or leggings these days, and even I feel glamorous.

Catalyst said...

I've got to get out more often.

And you've got to post more often, Pearl.

Cheryl said...

I've been thinking about you lately, and here you are!

Launna said...

Haha Pearl, what part of the city do you live in that you find random underwear on the ground? By the way, it's great to see you back ♡

esbboston said...

You find underwear, I find deflated helium balloons. You have a more interesting life. Did you photograph them? I photog'd the balloons. They were tiny and had (interesting ?) patterns of dirt and grime. I wonder how they survived the recent hail.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

Going Commando in these troubling weather times, could result in a hard freeze. I, myself, like the feel of cotton but apparently some like to feel free and live a more adventurous life.

bood said...

You're back! So maybe ther IS a god....well, goddess anyway. Please don't leave us again. Loved your books, wish you would publish a new one collecting all the bus stories. Penny in Oz Xxx

the walking man said...

Surely Pearl had you gotten dressed in a morning fog prior to your first coffee and balancing wardrobe with catty demands. once you realized as you crossed the busy intersection you were wearing red lace,leopard skin patterned underwear you would have quickly and quietly dropped them where you stood as well.

Lest we forget that winter was indeed harsh in it's multilayered requirements of heavy clothing, summer has primed us for commando wear. Which is to say no wear is better than said describer underwear.

Douglas said...

Myself, I have long wondered about those sneakers draped over power or telephone lines. Panties on the sidewalk... not so much.

sage said...

You have a gift of observation that brings joy to your stories. Underwear is better than those "balloon-like-things" I found in the middle of a picnic area a few weeks ago--I suddenly wasn't hungry.

the walking man said...

Douglas--those sneakers are of special color or brand and they designate territory held by the most prominent drug boss in the area. The line they are hung over denotes the boundary where the kill zone begins.

Jono said...

I'm guessing the undies just dropped off of someone who lost a LOT of weight.

Diane Tolley said...

Here in Canada, we've shed our toques, mittens, coats and knee-high boots. We've not yet started shedding our underwear. That happens during our summer. July 17th.

Lisa said...

Oh my gosh. Six month killing spree? I don't know if I've read anything that funny in ages.

Watson said...

You folks in the mini-apolis sure leave interesting things laying about the street. Wonder if some will still be there when winter returns and those bottom warmers will be needed.

So nice to "see" you again Pearl. Hope all is well. Missed you.
Hugs from Barbara and Watson