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Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Its Not All Gargin-Farppled Plotzminers at Acme Grommets and Gravel

The days just fly by.    Is it any wonder that I remain at Acme Grommets and Gravel?

The chains hardly seem necessary anymore.

What’s best, of course – and I mean this – is the double-wide cubicle I occupy with one-time intern, now-time employee Allen.

O, Allen, you cherubic little keyboard masher you.

Everything seems right in his world, and I feel almost motherly watching him grow into the position.


He leans forward, intent upon one of the three screens in front of him.  “Yessssssss,” he whispers softly.

Our backs normally turned away from each other, I swivel in my seat.  “What up, Gollem?”

“Hmm?”  He blinks earnestly in my direction.  “Oh.  Yes.”  He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose.  “The swivel-hammered bivalved dinkilator responded just as I predicted it would.”

I nod.  “But when those dinkilators go down, man…”

He grins.  “Chaos.”

We stare at each other for a bit.  Somehow, it’s easy to do. 

“So I had a thought the other day,” he says.

“About the gargin-farppled plotzminer?”

He shakes his head.  “That was last week.  Now, I’m thinking about a Happy Hour.”

I blink slowly at him.  “Go on.”

“There should be one.”

I grin.  “We’ll invite Jen.  And Rachael.  And Stacy.  And Jeff.”

Allen nods sagely.  “Jeff,” he says in low tones, “buys once he’s had a couple.”

I turn to my desk, write it down.  “Sit near Jeff at HH,” I write.  “Find ways to use the letters g-i-n – in that order – in all upcoming correspondences.”

I turn back to relay my plan to get whole bottles of gin out of Jeff, but Allen is back at work.

We really must do something about this guy’s work habits. 


joeh said...

Sound like he is starting to come along, plotting Happy Hour and all. He probably has a good mentor.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
I actually cackled at the thought of redundant chains. Glad that is all that is redundant at Acme Whotsits. Your cabin mate sounds like a good 'un - with plans such as HH afoot, there are likely to be some wonderful gabblings around here... YAM xx

jenny_o said...

Still waters run deep ... heh

Jocelyn said...

It's a rare gift, to be able to plot out a successful Happy Hour, one that words in one's favor.

Evil geniuses, you two are.

Joanne Noragon said...

Remind Allen not to bring his plufzenhanger.

Geo. said...

Thank you for demonstrating so enjoyably that interns say the darndest things. I believe there was a book with that title, written by Art Dinkilator.

Pearl said...

Art Dinkilator! HA!

Slowly getting back into writing again, so I appreciate the encouragements. And the gin. But mostly the encouragements. :-)


bill lisleman said...

thinking of gin (but not stinking of gin) brings to mind a great mystery - what the hell is bathtub gin. I don't think bathing in gin would be very pleasant.

Anonymous said...

He's coming along. You'll get him trained up right eventually.

Elephant's Child said...

I hope your Happy Hours last a week. At least.

Gigi said...

Well it sounds as if you have a good group for Happy Hour. I shudder to think about attending a Happy Hour with some of the folks I work with...of course, I would probably come away with some good information to hold over their heads and blog fodder. Hmmm....maybe I need to set up a Happy Hour after all.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Haha. I laughed at your comment: "Go on." I do believe your mojo returned, Miss Pearl. Actually, it never really left. It just fell asleep in the corner, and now it's ready to hit the bar.

Buttons Thoughts said...

Well Pearl you have not lost your touch:) Love the fact you are back and still funny. HUGS B

NotesFromAbroad said...

I would like to be at the Happy Hour when the people are required to say Gargin farpled etc .. it would be a fun game .

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

Definite potential. A man that wants to plan a happy hour is a keeper.

Should Fish More said...

Pearl.....yeah, returning to 'normal' is good, changed though we are. Take things slow for a bit, ok? Met many a fine interns meself over the the decades, none I'd want hanging around now.
Cheers, going to Europe in a week.

Catalyst said...

He's a gift! A gift, I tell you. Comfort him.

Watson said...

I think I have the answer to your question bill lisleman. A very long time ago I dated a fellow from the US Deep South. His family was in the bootlegging business and fermented their product in the bath tub. If the "Feds" were seen coming up the hill all they had to do was pull the plug and the "evidence" was gone. At least that's what he told me, but we weren't cubicle mates.

Days full of Happy Hours to you Pearl!

River said...

You mean to tell me they don't already have Happy Hour?? sheesh.
After all those hours of plotzywhatsits, you need a Happy Hour.

River said...

Watson is right. Bathtub Gin was made in bathtubs during prohibition times; probably before and after that too.

Sage said...

Oh Jeff, my given name (and now I'm buying...)

Patricia said...

Mmmmm. Gin. Try Vikre boreal cedar. You'll thank me. Love, poverbo

vanilla said...

Oh, dear. It is not going to take long for somepody to corrupt Allen.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

Thank you for the chuckle this morning it felt good to have a chuckle