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Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Mom Said They Couldn't Take Him Back

You got time for a quick story?

Ahem.

My last official purchase whilst still living at my parents’ house – and the mode by which I left it – was a 1968 Ford Falcon, an old car in great shape.

All it needed was speakers for its intriguing stereo system.

And when I refer to a stereo “system”, let us be clear that the “system” was a radio with a built-in cassette player.

I wasted no time in getting two used speakers at a garage sale.

For two dollars, you just knew they had to be good!

I ran the wires from the radio to the speakers in the back and fell asleep that night with dreams of how I would make this car really cool, maybe dropping the chassis, having my name etched into the glass on the driver’s side window, buying a metal clip with a big feather attached to it for a key chain and similar necessary and perfectly legal things.

When I awoke, however, and went out to drive my new car to my new job, I could not help but notice the number of things that had accumulated in my car overnight.

Sand. Lots of sand. A pair of swim fins. Several empty Budweiser beer cans. A man’s swim trunks. A woman’s bikini top but no bottom.

There was a note on the front seat from my brother. One year younger than I, Kevin has been the figurative elbow in my ribs since they brought him home from the hospital. Attached to the note was a single dollar bill.

“Hey, Squirrel. Nice car. Ha ha. Nice stereo. You should get another set of used, blown speakers and double your sound quality! Ha ha. Here’s a dollar for you. Buy yourself some gas. Ha ha ha. Your loving brother, Kevin.”

My brother.

He's a funny guy.

22 comments:

vanilla said...

Ha ha ha.

Susan Williams said...

Ha ha.
Hmph.
Why I oughta...

Al Penwasser said...

Reminds me of an old joke (what doesn't?):
"Hey, I got a new car!"
"Did you get a Falcon?"
"No, I got a good deal."

Shelly said...

Those brothers- the bane and fun of our existence.

jenny_o said...

You forgot to get a strongbox to keep the key in. Or was Kevin not only funny but an expert on hot-wiring cars? Brother - only one letter away from bother!

sage said...

Now just how much would a buck buy in gasoline in those days (when I started driving, gas was in the mid 30s (yes, roughly 35 cent a gallon, I am really dating myself).

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
Okay, but did you ever get an explanation for the incomplete bikini??? YAM xx

Joanne Noragon said...

You probably were blessed not to have two brothers sharing one car. Missing rotor caps were a daily uproar.

Elephant's Child said...

Brothers. The same the world over. Crossing cultures and time zones. Something to love, something to loathe.

Elephant's Child said...

Brothers. The same the world over. Crossing cultures and time zones. Something to love, something to loathe.

River said...

My first mobility device was a motor scooter and my "little" brother was too big for it, ha ha. But that dollar would have kept me in petrol for about six weeks.

ThreeOldKeys said...

... memories ....

Linda O'Connell said...

At least he left you a dollar with his tips.

goatman said...


Note: you could take the shift lever out and take it with you to prevent theft.

Shoshanah Lee Marohn said...

Well, at least he left the dollar.

bill lisleman said...

Yeah I agree with the last comment - you got a buck out of it. Did you run it until the tires fell off?

Merlesworld said...

He did have a good time in your car.
Merle.............

Catalyst said...

I'd have left some sand in his swim trunks! Oh. Maybe there was some.

Rose L said...

Knowing you, I bet you got back at him!!!

Glen said...

Little brothers have an important role to play in life - and that's it

NotesFromAbroad said...


Kevin, yes, that is my brothers name too .. is 10 years younger than I.
When he was new, I wanted him to be My baby, then he got older, he followed me around like a puppy, then he got to be a tiresome boy being nosy then I ran away and got married.
I adore him.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Brothers they are just so funny