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Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Just How Many Times Did I Hit That Snooze, Anyway?

It’s dark again.

Not in that delightful what’s-the-point-all-is-lost way that I sometimes have, but in a literal, pupil-widening way that is thrust upon us every year about this time.

This Daylight Savings Time, that is.

You didn’t think spring was going to just happen, did you?  Oh, no.  One must earn spring.  One must yearn for it, watch for it, take up a collection and bribe it with promises of pedicures, of charcoal briquettes and jaunty little hats that say, “What?  Protect you from frost bite?  That’s someone else’s job!”

Plunged by Benjamin Franklin’s idea of a joke back into the darkness of the morning commute, I have time for these thoughts.  There is little to distract one, after all, when nature thinks it’s 5:30. 

It’s a hard life.

Once aboard the bus, jacketed in the drowsy goodwill of my early-morning compatriots, I can’t help but notice that there, at the front of the bus, scrolling on the marquee that shares time, date, and whether or not a stop has been requested, is today’s date:  10/25/34.

Holy moley.  No wonder it’s dark out.  I’ve stumbled into another dimension.

You know, I thought it would be dark in here; but I was also expecting humming and flashing lights, maybe the smell of cigarette smoke or the sudden inexplicable appearance of a cheese Danish. 

I frown, as is my wont, in concentration.  What an odd date.  1/2/03 I could understand. 1/11/11 would make me happy as well. 

But it’s not about me being happy, not this time.

Nope.  This time it's just me, in the dark, wondering if I’m terribly early or terribly late.


22 comments:

Christine said...

You didn’t think spring was going to just happen, did you? Oh, no. One must earn spring. One must yearn for it, watch for it, take up a collection and bribe it with promises of pedicures, of charcoal briquettes and jaunty little hats that say, “What? Protect you from frost bite? That’s someone else’s job!”

Best paragraph I've read describing this time of year.

I'm just going to throw out there that in the year '34, I better not be on a bus bribing spring. I shall be retired to my tropical beachfront home by then, surely!

Glen said...

Holy Moley is an entirely underused phrase as far as I'm concerned. I like it. I know nobody who uses that ever.

I may have to start it

See if I can start the English wing of the Holy Moley fan club.

Two words have made my day :-)

vanilla said...

Way, way too early. I was barely kicking the blankets off my feetsies on that date.

ThreeOldKeys said...

The date you were watching scroll by was actually 10/25/84.

And Big Brother was watching you back.

jenny_o said...

Maybe the date was just the work of a tech-challenged nincompoop like me - that's what happens when I try to change the date on anything digital, especially the car, which is so non-intuitive it gives the enigma machine a run for its money.

Silliyak said...

Dyslexic clocks... a problem for ALL of us. Won't you contribute? Just pennies a day can overcome this scourge.

Margaret Garland said...

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Lynn said...

OMG - I don't like to think how old I'll be 2034. Yikes.

We must earn spring - love it!

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
........................... even digital time loses track???????????? Oh, diss con-sert, my ment(al)... YAM xx

Elephant's Child said...

The seasons are chronic flirts. Every year. All of them. Except when they come thundering in, early.
2034? Shudder.

Delores said...

You've stumbled into.........The Twilight Zone.............do de do do ... do de do do....

Jono said...

Delores, Pearl has been flushed back into the toilet zone. do de do do.

Pearl said...

Oh, you're a funny group, aren't you?!

:-)

It's been a helluva day at work, I can tell you that, so I'm glad to see you all taking a moment over here.

Jacquelineand.... said...

Three Old Keys gets the comment of the day award!

Geo. said...

Time warp, kid. Happened to me this morning (Trainrides). You get used to them.

Terri @ Coloring Outside the Lines said...

I'm pretty sure you just thought you got on a bus. I'm thinking maybe a time machine, or a spaceship. LOL HOLY MOLEY. I say this alot. It keeps me from saying much worse.

Catalyst said...

Have you considered the possibility that you may still be asleep in your bed?

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I just don't understand the POINT of torturing us with the whole time change.

injaynesworld said...

You guys just can't catch a break, can you. Employers really should let their workers come into the office an hour later when DST kicks in -- at least for the first few weeks. Write a memo to that effect.
:)

By the way, I'm not a robot.

River said...

Early or late? Well, that depends on the 34. Is it 1934, making you very very late, or is it 2034 making you extremely early?

jeanie said...

Will blow some summer over there for you if you can chuck us a little bit of Autumn?

I agree with Margaret - my hubbies ears have been rattled with some fine Pearl phrases on my Friday night catch up over here.

Dr. Kathy McCoy said...

I agree with Jayne. You should have time off to adjust to this annual annoyance. Or move to Arizona. We don't observe the ritual of DST, staying on Standard Time year around. Hmmm....dark mornings or scorching desert? Maybe those dark awakenings aren't so bad after the first few days...