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Tuesday, March 24, 2015

It's Like Capistrano Up in Here; or One of the First Signs of Spring


I’m on the 1:26 bus out of downtown Minneapolis, a much earlier bus than I normally take. 

And these are not my people. 

I sit, as I always do, near the back, just past the rear exit, behind the plexiglass but in good view of the fish-eyed camera lens.

Should anything untoward happen, I want it to be fully documented.

“It ain’t gonna be like last time.  You got to sleep and I had to stay up, keep you from running out naked.  Why you gotta run out naked all the time?”

My iPod is on, both earbuds in.  The volume is low.

I turn it off.

“Okay, okay,” a man says.  “Don’t get riled.”

I turn casually in my seat, make as if to adjust the yoga bag I am carrying.  There, on the bench seat that stretches across the back of the bus, is a couple.  Weathered, rough-looking, he is smiling at her in a “aww, honey” sort of way, revealing more gums than teeth. 

There is something about them that leads one to believe that they might steal the laundry off your clothes line.  

I turn back around, pull out the little book I carry in my purse for just such occasions. 

Click, my pen says.

“I’m just saying.”

“I heard you, I heard you.  But you got more than I did.”

There is silence.

“That’s ‘cause I earned it.”

“Shuddup!” the man says, “I don’t want to hear about it!”

“Well I’m gonna tell ya!”

“Shuddup!  I said I don’t want to hear about it!”

She cackles a bit, simmers down slowly.

There is silence.

“I could go for one, though,” he finally says.

“Oh, yeah,” she say.  “I could do one.”

“I could totally go for another one,” he says.

Ding!  Someone has pulled the cord, and the couple at the back of the bus walk by me and push at the rear exit door.

And off they go, in search of another one.  

19 comments:

Glen said...

I'm not feeling that it's salad they are sharing - it's encounters like this that we don't get in London. nobody talks - couples stay silent out of respect for the rules.

Seems a waste

Why does he have to go running out naked all the time? I need to know

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
and click goes my keyboard, delighted with what it read...yet so very glad you stayed within the realm of the fisheye... YAM xx

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

New book, Conversations on the 1:26.

ThreeOldKeys said...

We want another one!
Just like the other one!

except for running out naked ...

jenny_o said...

And that's not a root beer float they're talking about, is it?

Whoo-ee.

joeh said...

It is these kind of people that make me use the dryer.

vanilla said...

Loammi wanders off in search of another one, and we'll never know. Thanks, Pearl. You are a gem.

Gigi said...

Rats. Now we will never know? Is she going to run out naked again? Why is she running out naked. And what could be the elusive thing they want another one of....it's all a mystery.

Elephant's Child said...

Eavesdropping on bus conversations has made me miss my stop more than once.
And I am not certain whether I hope they get another one (each) or not.

Catalyst said...

Holy Mackerel!

Rose L said...

My, what on earth could they be referring to? (sitting here innocently blinking my eyes and casting a shy glance!?

dogimo said...

Why she got to stop me from running out naked all the time, is my question? Whose is the shame, the one running out naked all the time or the one trying to stop you from running out naked all the time?

Suddenly the conversation feels like Obi Wan and Darth squabbling. Darth's all, you got to sleep and I had to stay up keeping you from running out naked all the time. Then Obi-Wan's all "oh yeah? Hold my robe a minute"

Silliyak said...

Hope the TV is still ok

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Yeah one wonders what the hell they are talking about

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Makes one wonder what the hell they were talking about

Geo. said...

Kid, you're the berries. Great post!

the walking man said...

The only time i go running out naked is that i know the only evidence i leave behind while stealing clothes off the line is the clothes pins.

Your writing pearl is a constant reminder that people are just flat out weird.

Shoshanah Lee Marohn said...

Ah, the bus. Always a great source of stories and interesting characters!

Daisy said...

I hope they find it...I think.