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Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Crocheting: More on Your Hands Than Just Time

I spent a good deal of time Sunday sitting on the couch, a cat-abused ball of increasingly kinked yarn on the floor, a J crochet hook clutched in my right hand.

You know, there was a time when I sat on the couch without such accoutrement, naked in my lack of time-occupying detritus.  Why, in my youth I was capable of sitting, for absolute hours, with nothing but a blank look on my face and the willingness to do nothing at all.

You shoulda seed me. 

If only it were still so.

But no.  No.  As has so many times been pointed out by folks wiser than I, we are not a do-nothing people.  Raised by a mother who cut our hair, made her own candles, canned our food, and regularly constructed Halloween costumes with nothing but her wits and an old bed sheet, I find myself increasingly astounded by my own sloth-like tendencies.

And so I decided to do something about it.

Hence the clutching.

My mother taught me to crochet as a child.  Having last made an afghan – not an Afghani, no matter what you’ve heard! – in the early 90s, I was surprised by my ability to recall the various stitches.

I should learn some more, thought I. 

And this is where the blank look comes in.  Because try as I might, and as much as “ch 5 sl st foll rd dbl ch in next 5” seems like a perfectly rsnbl req to mk on a Sund aft, I cannot complete a square.


Considering that I will need, oh, a hundred or so, to complete what I want to complete, this is a roadblock.

I rip it out, read the directions, and start from the beginning.

And like a springy, home-spun lesson in life, I get just one step ahead of the last tear-out only to find myself cross-eyed and fumbling again. 

Wt the hl? 


How do some people make it all look so easy?

25 comments:

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

Idk Prl. Wtf?

Shelly said...

My grandma taught my sister and me to crochet. My sister, I'm convinced, could crochet a pretty decent replica of the Taj Mahal. I sputtered and died at it after my first oddly shaped blanket, which I used for one of my baby pigs. Some folks have it, some don't. I don't, but I'm glad you do.

Anonymous said...

I keep telling everyone who asks, "it is all in the wrist"

link goes through the whole cycle. it might be helpful.


http://www.purlbee.com/2007/03/30/granny-squares/

Pearl said...

Dawn, IKR?!

Shelly, I love doing it, but those directions are giving me a headache! (And in other news, there was a man on the bus this morning KNITTING! Knitting! Whatever he's working on, it's in black. Scarf? Hat? Toaster cozy? I only hope he's back tomorrow...)

Anonymous, thank you! I cannot wait to give that a shot!!

vanilla said...

To complete the square, first move the loose number to the other side of the equation; then take half the x-term and square it. Now. . . What? This is not helping? How can that be?

Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandma said...

I've been working on a large counted cross-stitch piece for years. The directions are clear enough, but everything is tiny and my eyes give out. It's always something!

Delores said...

Gran had all the 'ladies arts' in hand..crochet, tatting, embroidery, knitting, sewing. She managed to teach me the basics of knitting....get the yarn on the needles, knit, pearl and cast off. Right there is where any resemblance to gran leaves off. When she was knitting it looked like only one finger was moving and the needles pumped like pistons. When I knit the elbows are flying and its best to stand way back. I managed to accomplish one afghan (not an afghani no matter what you've heard lol) and since then it's been a struggle to knit a simple scarf. I commiserate with your struggles Pearl.

ThreeOldKeys said...

I suggest you switch to spool knitting. Sit next to Mr. Knitter on the bus and exchange yarns.

Glen said...

I can honestly say that this has never been a problem for me :-)

jenny_o said...

I hear you. Of course, I blame my problems on the fact my hand goes numb from the carpal tunnel thing, but secretly I fear I hv lst my brn clls. Keep at it, Pearl!

joeh said...

My Mom did the same thing after she learned how to make a square.

http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2012/05/idiot-blanket.html

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Ah now then, this is my kinda yarn...

Judging by the colour, there's an event in the offing. Or your lad has changed his spots. One thing which cannot be said about our Pearl is that she is a square. YAM xx

Joanne Noragon said...

Pearl, from an old crocheter, the drctns are wrng. Check the internet and you will find hundreds of lovely squares to crcht.

Jacquelineand.... said...

Crochet? Moi? Now that would be something to see!

Hmmm, wonder if people would pay to see it...

Ian Lidster said...

Do we get the term crotchety from older people given to crocheting? I have a million such questions.

Elephant's Child said...

Not a skill I have mastered. Not a skill I have come close to mastering. Sigh. Nor knitting. Double sigh.

Daisy said...

I used to crochet a lot years ago. I even created and sold several designs to various magazines, believe it or not. I haven't done any for a long while. I wonder if I would still remember how. :-) Keep at it, Pearl. You'll figure it out.

Eileen B said...

Yeah. What Dawn said.

Gigi said...

You are WAY ahead of me. All I ever learned was how to make a long crochet chain. And, by now, I've even forgotten that.

Charlotte Ann said...

Two words: YOU TUBE
My friend knew 2 stitches...now with YOU TUBE she is making a wide selection of stuff nobody really wants.

Catalyst said...

Izzat anythin' like sewin'? Huh?

River said...

A knitter on the bus?? Me too! Last week, a youngish middle-aged man, ex-hippy by the look of him, long hair, rough clothes, knitting something in a lovely light blue colour. If I'd had my camera, I would have asked to take his photograph.
I never learned to crochet in spite of mum trying every so often to teach me. I always thought it was an 'old lady' thing, so didn't want to learn. I can knit, sort of. I made matinee jackets with matching bonnets and bootees for my babies, later a few jumpers and cardigans for school, now all I do is scarves.

the walking man said...

Well Pearl you have just now convinced me that blankly staring out into the void is better than learning to crochet or knit or make yarn or get a new pair of glasses to learn a new language.

Linda O'Connell said...

Some people crochet for relaxation purposes. Even thinking about it gives me the willies. Hang in there, you'll recall how to square things up.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I wish I could knit or crochet but I can't I have tried in the past but couldn't get the hang of it