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Monday, February 16, 2015

Don’t Forget to Tip Your Waitstaff

The bus driver, a cheery man in a Metropolitan Transit-issued sweater, is rotated through to the #17 on perhaps a quarterly basis.  A smiling, whimsical person, he brings his whole personality to work. 

In accordance with my belief that one does not simply trip about the streets completely unaware, I am wearing only one earbud.  

“Approaching Central, guvnah” he calls. 

I blink, grinning, into the gray dawn of a February morning in Minnesota, a single-digit affair swaddled in natural fibers and, increasingly, a layer of protective fat, and realize that the bus driver has just made an announcement in a Cockney accent. 

I turn my iPod down significantly.   

“Washington Avenue,” he sings.  I look around the bus – is that a Carol Channing impersonation?

But unlike the day that a small child and I were the only witnesses to a full-grown elephant relieving itself outside of the Target Center onto a snow bank many years ago, I am alone in my observation. 

“Approaching Marquette,” the bus driver stage-whispers, “and aiming for the Nicollet Mall.  Next stop, the 3, the 14, and let us never forget the 15,” he says darkly, “transfer point.”  I watch him via the rearview mirror as he shudders in horror.   “Transfer point,” he intones. 

A block or two later, and the bus comes to a complete stop.  The front doors open as the commuting public, still struggling with varying degrees of disbelief regarding the start of a new work week, mounts the steps, waves bus passes before the card reader.  


“Welcome,” the bus driver says – and is that a Boston accent now?  “Welcome to yuh mawnin’ commute.” 

23 comments:

Shelly said...

He's got it in spades, your bus driver.

chickensconsigliere said...

You've got to love a person who knows how to amuse themselves. Guvnah.

vanilla said...

Change it up a bit for the amusements of the peoples. Nice.

NotesFromAbroad said...

I never ride buses but I might consider it if he was driving the bus.

Sioux said...

Pearl--You need to take a video of this driver... it'll go viral and make him a star.

sage said...

UGH, what happen to my comment. The man will never know that he has made your blog and been honored as one who makes the mundane bearable.

savannah said...

What a great start to the week, sweetpea! xoxoxox

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
..huh..wait.... let me get early-week brain in action... YOU HAVE ANNOUNCEMENTS ON YOUR BUSES???

I want one... YAM xx

joeh said...

I never understood why some people choose to be unfriendly miserable people all day on their job. It is just as easy to have a little fun on the job.

I've never in all my years been called Gov'na. I think I would like it.

joeh said...

Sioux - The video would probably go viral and have him fired. There is probably something i his job description which makes having fun against the rules.

Gigi said...

I love people like that!

Shoshanah Lee Marohn said...

He sound most wondrous. I used to be bus driver. A school bus driver. I saw myself as something of a counselor for troubled youth. I never ever thought of accents!

Delores said...

What a great guy...making his job and your commute a better place to be...sorry for any typos..I'm typing blind again.


Watson said...

can you take him a box of candy from all of us??? :-)

Catalyst/Taylor said...

Maybe you've imagined him.

fishducky said...

I'll chip in on Watson's candy!!

jenny_o said...

He sounds like a kindred spirit of yours, Pearlie :)

Linda O'Connell said...

Bus driver with multiple personalities...better than the passenger sitting behind you with the malady.

Rose L said...

he must be a wannabe actor!

River said...

You've gotta love a driver who loves his work!

Diane Tolley said...

He's got the power!

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I rarely ride the bus, but when I do I enjoy the ride, Tim of course spends every day on a bus, being that he is a bus driver............

Daisy said...

Sounds like he enjoys his job. How nice that he made the ride more enjoyable for his passengers too. :)