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Wednesday, January 7, 2015

The Small Indignities; or I Could Just Step Outside with It, I Suppose

There are many reasons for my continued employment at Acme Grommets and Gravel, very few of which have anything to do with financial security.

Firstly, there’s my love of the pre-dawn alarm clock. 

Then there’s my goodly skills with English. 

Srsly.

And of course there’s my reputation as a sprightly and energetic dancer.

Truth be told, however, the real reason I continue to appear EVERY DAY, ALL DAY at Acme Grommets and Gravel, is because of the 25-cent sodies in the break room.

Canned pop!  For a quarter!  Coke, both Diet and Regular; Orange Fanta; Diet Dew and, somewhat seditiously, both regular and diet Pepsi, the temperature is proudly displayed right there near the coin slot.

Ooooh, but there’s nothing like a 34-degree Diet Coke. 

So you can imagine my dismay when I walked into the break room the other day, pulled a quarter from my back pocket, raised the coin to the slot – and noticed the glowing red light of the temperature display.

Forty-two degrees.

Well.

I barely skirt having my eyeballs freeze every morning at the bus stop,  my love of gravy has ensured that my thighs bear the imprint of the seams of my pants and now my pop is at 42?

It’s all I can do to keep from marching down to HR

25 comments:

savannah said...

hold on here, sugar1 y'all drink coke in the mornin' and not coffee??? *sigh* that ain't right. ;) xoxoxox

vanilla said...

The rigors of life. 42. Horrors!

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

Could be worse. The other sign on the pop machine could have read $1.00. You know, like it does for the rest of us.
;)

Pearl said...

It's a cross I bear.

A DOLLAR for a soft drink, Dawn? What're you, in Ohio? ;-)

Diane Tolley said...

What's a pop machine? (Here in Canada . . .)

Delores said...

It's enough to send a gal out to the unemployment office to find a new job.

Buttons said...

Wow that sounds like a dream:) Hug B

Silliyak said...

Fortunately you could just put it outside for a bit to put that little edge on it doncha know?

joeh said...

Silliyak had the solution, probably just two minutes near the window.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
...well... does that mean it rots gut slower or quicker??? ... YAM xx

Eva Gallant said...

Soda for a quarter, and you're complaining it's not cold enough???? I was paying $1.00 for soda out of the machine at the place I worked 15 years ago!!!

jenny_o said...

There is a thin veneer of niceties that keep civilization from descending into anarchy, and cool pop is one of those. I think you should start a revolt.

Or step outside. Like you said.

fishducky said...

Oh, the inhumanity!!

Geo. said...

Wow, two-bit sodie? By my calculation that machine was last restocked in 1955. Price'll shoot way up when it runs out.

Jono said...

42? They must keep a heater on it all winter to get it that warm! Just getting it home from the store is enough to freeze it nearly solid. The fridge is what keeps it from freezing until about July.

Joanne Noragon said...

Righteous indignation about this entitlement.

Jocelyn said...

Just set it outside for 30 seconds, and she'll be all good.

Speakin' of which, I carried grocery bags in to the house just now, not wearing mittens, and I still can't feel my thummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmbs.

Bushman said...

Least they could do is hook a tube up that blows some of that arctic air we've been getting into your sodie machine. It would be free so they could lower the price a tad.

sage said...

they'll save a bit on electricity so they can keep rotting your teeth and your insides 25 cent a pop! :)

River said...

Pop too hot? Run it downstairs, (running is good for gravy fed thighs)and sit it on the footpath for a minute and a half. Cold pop!

esbboston said...

I am past the sodie stage of my life. I would be enticed by 25¢ ice cold hard cider, though.

Linda O'Connell said...

25 cents? I'd be buying six a day and supplying my own fridge. Sodie? You sure you aren't from St. Louis?

Simply Suthern said...

Our company furnishes all the the coffee, tea and soda for free. They also furnish some snacks.

I think it's part of the employee retention program.

Daisy said...

Harumph! I hope you give HR a piece of your mind! :-)

jeanie said...

Worstest place I ever worked had FREE softdrinks!!!

Having just been to your fair shores, I now know how to work out your temperature doo-hickey.

All you need do is subtract 32, divide by 9 and multiply by 5 for it to make sense - so 1 degree C up to over 5 degrees - valid vent!

I told one of your fellow countrymen (who I am apparently related to, through marriage) about the mindblowing possibilities of a temperature system where freezing was represented by a 0 and boiling by 100. He had never heard of such a thing...